That morning, she rose at the dawn and performed her role of care giver. Zaiyre had given one hundred percent when she was dealing with death and suffering, made her feel loved and valued when she didn't even feel that way towards her own self; it was like he was her protection, solidarity and security in physical form. the one, key element which prohibited her from pursuing a relationship with him was herself.
As mad as it sounds, that was the truth. azaria knew she was carrying damages, fixing her mental and undertaking her personal healing process was more significant to her than a romantic relationship. she knew regardless of what the future held she was grateful to have crossed paths with him, after all he initiated her journey of healing. She believed to get into a relationship with him anytime soon would not be healthy, she wasn't selfish and in her eyes couldn't love him if she never fully loved herself.
Azaria awoke and done her hygiene routine, then her light, diligent footsteps moved over in front of his door. Knocking softly, she heard a gruff response. Not looking up at him first, her feline eyes fleeted around the room. she perched on the edge of his bed and looked up, almost getting lost in the vivacious green of his eyes.
"Good morning Zy, how did you sleep?" she spoke gently
"morning, alright still", he lied
"come you come a little bit closer please"
"mhmm", he moved over with quickness, his natural scent was tantalizing
She levelled her light brown eyes with his deep green ones and widened her arms for an embrace, to which he thankfully accepted. Her smooth hands rubbed circles on his bare back and his heart fluttered as she spoke endearing words to him against his neck.
" i got you, thiago "
he pulled away, and licked his lips averting her gaze on her ever so slightly
"you don't know what your doing to man zay..."
"pardon" she said confused
"why you keep playing with me" he said preeing her intensely
"i'll be real. I want you but if i started something more serious with you then it would be selfish of me. And im not selfish"
"what do you mean" he said
"i cant rely on you to help me, and build me more than myself. Im carrying extra damage and baggage that i have to lighten. we'll see."i disagree, but it is what it is alie"
"mhmm" she said
"anywho, i'll be back"
A few hours passed and Zaiyre was dressed. looking leng per usual with a distant look painted on his pretty face. She had a surprise for him, she made him hampers with various things inside; one had expensive clothes and some cologne in. Garments derived from Gucci, Selfridges and Versace. The next had photos of them together and quick ones she took onna' sly one, with an engraved message on the back. The last one had movies, snacks and cute stuff in.
She blindfolded him and ran into her room to get them out,
"1,2--Why are you lifting it up! don't ruin it" she said getting annoyed.
"aight den my bad" she moved them closer to him
"OPEN"
"i cant take the ting off, rah its so tight"
when she finally undone it he was at a loss for words,
"wow. why?" he asked
"read the back of the photo thing,"
"nah you read it", he said getting out his phone to record it. It was so surreal to him
"growing up, i thought that i would endure things alone. certain situations that i've gone through i wouldn't have wished it on the wickedest of people, but they happened. that can't change or be changed.
But then i met you that day of the barbecue and everything changed. I was in a strange place emotionally, scarred. You made it clear to me that you were trust worthy, respectful, and someone who was very important to me. You carried my struggles as if they were yours, when I know you had yours- for that i will forever be eternally grateful.
I've never felt this type of understanding and connection with anyone, it's like we have our own language. You sense how i am before i even realise. It's almost been a year since that destined day, i pray for you and your family all the time, and I'm thankful to God for bringing you into my life. You mean so much to me i can't describe or compare. From your vibe to your smile, i can't deny your rarity.
I know you been a bit shaky lately and that's fine, just know that i got you for life. We were two lone soldiers lost, but now we have each other. Thank you for everything, i cant imagine my life without you. A life with you not in it wouldn't equate to happiness. I will always support you no matter what and its my time to return the favour "
Pretty tears filled her eyes, she knew her was her soulmate and probably going to be her first and only love.
1006 words
Thank you for reading luvvs!
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Please go and read my other book called 'harmless duplicity', it has a more creative take on it whilst involving uk hood life and includes a journey or ambition.
-CECE💞
