The Runt & The Alpha

Chapter 62- Anger.

Landon's pov

This anger I felt wasn't me, it was gut wrenching, so filled with disgusting irritation. I didn't want to be feeling like this around her or for her to see it at all. Which is why I've been trying to stay away but, that obviously didn't work. I hate that I snapped at her for no reason. I hate that all of this sudden anger I'm feeling was clearly coming from somewhere and I didn't know what.

Being angry didn't feel like an option, I just was.

The only time I find solace is when she's touching me or when I'm in my wolf form. I looked up at her to see her eyes were shut but, somehow she still ran her hand sleepily against my back. It made me smile to myself and I reached up to brush some of her black locks out of her face. Her eyes fluttered open, those emeralds for eyes meeting mine.

"Hey, are you okay?" she questioned, sitting herself up more and I got up so she could move more freely.

"I'm okay." I stated, grabbing her hand in mine, "Because of you." I brought it to my lips to lay a kiss before turning it over to her wrist.

Her scars reminding me just how strong she is, I laid a kiss to them as well, "Do you want to talk about it now?" I went to grab her other wrist while softly shaking my head no.

"Not yet." I kissed the skin where her other scars were gently, then I went to lift her shirt up.

I leaned down, laying a kiss against her belly, she laughed a little, "Okay." My eyes drifted up to hers, "I'm ready to listen though whenever you do want to talk about it." she said softly with understanding in her tone.

A smile made it's way onto my face, she was so amazing.

•••

The next day I couldn't stop thinking about how I lashed out on her and I still felt incredibly bad. She's told me several times that it was okay but, I hated it. I hated that I felt this way, I don't want to feel this way. The irritation I felt in my gut was getting worse, now I was getting these migraines and images of the place I was when I died. I think that, that's the reason I feel so angry because, with those images comes the feeling of being alone without Layla.

That alone has me so angry, angry that I don't have her, that she's not with me. But, I have to remind myself that I'm not there anymore and that Layla is here with me.

"Landon." I looked up at the sound of her soft voice bringing me from my loud thoughts.

She had a smile on her face, "Hi love." I stood up from the couch to approach her but, that irritating feeling was bubbling up inside me.

So I took a step back, she looked confused, "Are you okay?" she asked, "Is this about what happened the other day, I wish you would just talk to me maybe I can help." she explained, still walking over to me but, I held my hand out and she stopped.

'I want mate.' Jake whimpered inside and all he wanted was Layla but, I didn't trust this random spur of anger I felt.

"Landon." she spoke softly, her eyes catching mine and I broke.

"Ever since I came back all I feel is angry all the time and I can't control it." I stated, looking at the wooden floor.

"Landon, I'm sorry." she coaxed with meaning in her words.

"You weren't there." I looked up at her, feeling that lividness about not having her deep within me, "You weren't there with me!" I stated more harshly than I meant, it just fell from my lips, "Wherever I was, you weren't there." Images of how lonely I felt we're hitting me like a brick in the face.