rare. |a.k.|

seventy three|sort of productivity

𝔸𝕨𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕟'𝕤 ℙ𝕆𝕍

"Fuck fuck fuck," I whispered to myself as I desperately trying to figure out why Eve was crying. Charlie went out on her own for the first time in months and I'm home alone with her for the first time. For the most part it's been cake. I know what every cry means by now, which why I'm so confused as to what's happening here.

Evelyn's about 7 weeks old by now which is why Charlie's able to go out in town, half of her pregnancy weight is gone so no one'll suspect anything if anyone who knows her outside of family and friends sees her. It's been a interesting time in our lives but everything's pretty okay. We're still trying to find a house. Well, Charlie's trying to find one, I already found something I think we'd benefit from.

Anyway, right, back to the crying. She doesn't need to be changed, she's not hungry, not tired, I've been holding her and she won't stop. I already had a fear that I wouldn't be a good father for YEARS and this is, unfortunately, not making me feel any better.

I started humming some songs which made her stop crying for a second before it started again. Nursery rhymes, songs that'd help her sleep, it all helped but she didn't stop.

Then, I found myself randomly humming a Waterparks song. It was the chorus to Lucky People and she stopped crying and just stared at me. Giant blue eyes, just like Charlie's and they were beautiful. I smiled down at her and started singing the second verse.

It kinda brought a new meaning to the song for me.

"I know you said to mind my business but cupid sent me on a mission, that's got me sitting, wishing, waiting for your call." I finished and she stared at me and blinked which kinda made me laugh.

In response to finishing that song, my 2018 brain kicked in and moved onto Rare, the first song I ever wrote for Charlie. Granted, it was written during a time where we were not on speaking terms and hadn't been for months, but as I sang "you're my final destination" I kind of shocked myself.

I looked down during the second time running the chorus and I saw Eve smiling. She was smiling for the first time ever. Well, as far as we know.

I felt such a surge of serotonin hit me like a train and I started bouncing her lightly to the beat. Reaction smiling for a baby is normal, like when they're about to spit up or something, I've gotten to know that. But this was a genuine smile, her little eyes wrinkled in the corners and I felt like crying. I've cried more in the past 7 months than I have in my entire life.

I've gotten so comfortable with so many things I never had before.

Still smiling up at me, I walked over to the couch and laid her down on her back. Tot came over and sniffed her and then laid his head on the couch next to her. I took a picture to show Charlie later and continued on the clothes.

I looked over and noticed Eve was sleep so I picked her up and laid her in her little bed. She was going through her first big growth spurt so she was constantly eating. That being said, I had one bottle of the milk mixture left so I should probably go do that.

I walked out into the kitchen and sighed. What was I worried about? This is easy. My phone started ringing and I pulled it out of my back pocket and set it against the bread box.

"Hi," I said, seeing Charlie on the screen.

"Hey, how's home?"