rare. |a.k.|

forty two|calm

Awsten calls moments like these "calm before the storm". And metaphorically speaking, he's right. It was a nice, warm, Saturday afternoon and in three days he was going to meet up with Geoff and Otto in whatever studio and start recording their third album. And after that, he's basically going to be working until next year, and it was only June. Because they're gonna record, then film videos, plan tours, go on those tours, promote merch, release remixes, and just work. It's a nice storm; horrible and chaotic but beautiful all the same.

So that's why we're sitting on the floor playing a board game. Lately he's been doing things like this, board games, puzzles, drawing, etc. It's nice to see, but I know in a month I'm gonna see him stressed out of his mind.

We were playing Sorry and he was hesitant to draw another card. It hadn't been going to well for him and honestly, I couldn't be any less amused. He picked up the card and read it aloud, a smile growing on his face.

"Move forward ten or back one."

He happily grabbed his piece and moved it forward ten spaces, planting it at the entrance of his "home". I drew mine, reading the word "SORRY" in big bold letters. I frowned and moved my game piece back to the start. Awsten laughed and I shook my head, getting up to get a Ginger Ale. I stocked the fridge full of them, despite the the whining I got in return. I popped my fingers and just as I sat down, my phone rang. I huffed and got back up, running to where it was charging to answer it. A picture of Amy lit up on the screen and I answered.

"Hey, so I have a math question."

I smiled and sat down. I loved being an older sister.

"What's the question?"

I saw Awsten's head poke in from around the door. He raised an eyebrow and asked me who is was. I covered the receiver and told him it was Amy, then I heard her start talking.

"How exactly do you divide fractions by whole numbers?"

"Oh," I said, shifting my sitting position, "that's easy. Take the whole number, multiply it to the numerator and divide by the denominator."

I heard her go quiet for a couple seconds and then she sighed.

"Did it work?"

"Yeah, it did. Thanks. The teacher I have makes it confusing."

I laughed.

"Who do you have?"

"Ms. Schuppee."

I covered my mouth.

"Oh my God, that's who I had. Yeah, she sucks."

I heard Awsten giggle and I smiled. I could tell Amy was holding in a laugh when she was hanging up. After I put my phone down, he walked over and hugged me.

"You interacting with kids is so wholesome. You're gonna be a great mom when the time comes."

I felt warmth spread to my face. I've always wanted to be a mom, my mom and I had such a good connection and I just wanted that in my life. She always told me she loved me enough to make up for my dad. And that was true, I always felt it. Plus, when I was growing up, I always made mental notes like "when I have kids, I'll handle that situation differently."

Awsten pulled away from the hug and kissed my forehead, walking back out to the living room. I heard the TV turn on and I sighed. In three days I was gonna be alone in Los Angeles. Sure I had friends here, but I was going to wake up alone for the first time in a couple months. I looked at Awsten's bag which I forced him to pack early. I walked back out to the living room and curled up in an arm chair, pulling a blanket over me. It wasn't cold, I just felt like I needed it. I stared at the game board on the floor as the need to pick it up grew.