rare. |a.k.|

three|envy

"No, I don't believe you." I laughed, staring at the laptop screen.

It'd been about a month since Awsten and I hung out, and we've been getting closer ever since. We were on our third night in a row FaceTime chain, where we watched movies together and told stories.

"It's true, Otto bit a chunk out of his neighbor's back." Our laughs echoed through my empty apartment. I very recently moved out of my house. It was where all of my friends and I lived. It's kinda lonely here, so FaceTiming my friends is something I always want to do. Lately, Awsten's been calling a lot and I've been highly appreciative. I pulled out my phone and checked some notifications. I looked up when Awsten started talking.

"Oh," he said, frowning.

"Hmm?" I hummed.

"My girlfriend's called me like, 7 times. Don't have any idea how I missed 'em. I should probably go."

"Yeah, I should to. I have to decorate."

"Bye," he said, smiling and waving at me.

After we hung up, it was quiet again. I liked quiet, but this was sad and deafening. I hated this type of quiet. I think it was the sinking feeling of realizing that being around people for all 24 years of my life and now I have no one was what made it sad. I put on some music to make it better. I walked out into my living room and started hanging up some stuff from my memory wall. Of course this made me cry like a bitch because I missed my friends. It's not anyones fault, it was just that they all had jobs out of Texas and I didn't. I could have my job anywhere, but I like Austin.

It was a couple hours of decorating, crying, dancing and back to decorating, and before I knew it, it was 11 pm. I fixed myself a bowl of cereal, seeing as I hadn't gone shopping yet. I sat down at my table/counter and ate my cereal. When I was finished, I washed them so I wouldn't have dishes and went to clean up myself. I eventually, after hours of conversations with myself, I fell asleep.

I woke up to my downstairs neighbors being pricks. I sighed and rolled over, putting a pillow over my face before I decided to not suffocate myself, because this was the best time for shopping. 5 am at HEB was a delight, and that is not sarcasm. I love shopping really early or really late, because there is absolutely no one in the store. I sighed, sat up, and rolled out of bed. I got dressed, grabbed my wallet and keys, and out the door I went.

After going through and getting my food and stuff from HEB, I dropped it all off at home and decided to go shop for myself. If your mental health is low, sometimes just going out and buying a cute outfit or cute decorations makes you happy. Just do it, it'll make you happy. Driving to the mall, my phone blew the fuck up. I got a million texts and when I opened my messages app, they were all from Awsten, Geoff, and Sebastian. Well, one was from Sebastian, and it made my heart sink down into my stomach.

"you never answer me anymore"

What the hell? I always answer his phone calls and texts, what was he talking about? I shot back "i'm sorry, i'm busy" and decided to not let it bother me. As I walked into Rue 21, I got another one.

"with what?"

I rolled my eyes. He's not my first priority, why is he acting like it? He's probably upset with how much I've been talking to someone other than him.

"work, taking care of myself, my friends"

I walked deeper into the store and picked out some shirts. A couple of them were brands, others were t-shirts. I saw a short sleeved black t-shirt that said "I would prefer not to" on it and laughed. I took them all into the dressing room, and as right as I was feeling myself, I got another text.