rare. |a.k.|

sixty nine|the problem with dresses

heh

***

I sat on the couch, feeding Tot a blueberry or two from my bowl. I was watching Friends waiting for Emma, Jess, and my mom to get here. Awsten's been out all day doing his thing and I've been here. Only kinda bored.

They stayed after my birthday for a week and we've just been hanging out. They insisted on me going dress shopping while they were here, and honestly, I'm glad. But also, I'm worried. Because my body will look different by our actual wedding. I've really been thinking about talking to Awsten about changing the date but he seems so excited.. I know I couldn't do that.

I've been highly stressed about how all of this is working out. Awsten's been bringing up buying a house as casually as possible, which I agree with, but we have so fucking much going on. He has to think he's superman or something.

I sighed and stood up, looking at myself in the mirror again. I still don't get why it's me of all people he could of been with. But God am I thankful. I looked down at the ring that still nearly brought me to tears. I jumped at the sound of a knock on my door. I ran over and opened it, seeing three of my favorite people.

"Hey!" Emma yelled, throwing her arms around me as if we hadn't seen each other two days ago.

"Hi," I laughed, completely setting the stress I was feeling aside.

I said hello to Jess and mom and they all walked in, immediately going to Tot who had been licking the juice from my empty fruit bowl. I smiled at how happy he got when they approached him, flopping on his back for belly rubs.

"So what exactly is the plan for today?"

"I don't know, just go dress and shoe shopping. Have lunch or something?"

"This is horrible," Jess interrupted, "but I really want McDonald's nuggets."

"I felt that," I said and my mom laughed.

"Is this what you guys do? When you hang out, just talk about plans and food?"

Emma laughed.

"Basically."

We sat and talked, watching television and talking before finally deciding to get up and leave. We all piled into my mom's car, she was driving, I was in the shotgun seat and Em and Jess were in the backseat. This was gonna be.. a journey.

•••

I looked out the car window, feeling my stomach tie itself in knots. I looked at my best friends and sighed, feeling I should probably tell them.

"Hey, guys, Emma and Jess, I wanna let you know something." I looked back and they were both staring at me in curiosity.

"It might be a bit difficult to get me a dress because-"

"You're picky," Emma laughed.

"The dress will be perfect but the color will be-"

"I'm pregnant."

Their jaws dropped and it went silent. Emma started crying and leaned forward to hug me.

"Girl I gotta get home to Nick, I wanna be pregnant with you," she sniffed, rubbing my back. I laughed and saw Jessie, still completely shocked. She then pushed Emma off so she could wrap her arms around me.

"I'm so happy for you holy shit I am speechless."

I laughed and Emma wiped my eyes which surprised me because I didn't even know I was crying.