rare. |a.k.|

forty eight|tour and fights

𝔸𝕨𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕟'𝕤 ℙ𝕆𝕍

I sat at my counter on a barstool and started at the fridge. Charlie and I got in to dumb fight over something. It's strayed so far from the original argument that I don't even remember what we were fighting over.

I rubbed my face and trilled my lips. The only bad thing about putting your whole trust and life into someone is that they know where to hit you. I got ahead of myself and called her out for keeping shit to herself and she said my head was always in my job. And lately, yeah, but I can't help it. It's my job. I have to pay for my half somehow.

We have a system in living together, because although we are living under my name but we're living together, so we both pay. We kinda split it up and it really works.

Charlie obviously supports herself, like, she puts money toward our bills and things we want to do, but she also has her little coffee can of money that she uses to buy herself stuff.

But back to the topic at hand, it is my job. I can't just, stop touring, everyone would hate me. I mean, I know she doesn't mean it. We're just at each other's throats and she knows that gets under my skin. Just as I said things I know get to her. It's a fight, it happens.

However, this wasn't how I wanted to leave for tour. Tonight's the last free night I have, because tomorrow everyone's arriving and we have check everything at the venue and move into our bus. Looking through the schedule won't take very long, but there's still things to do.

And I have to sit here and think about it alone because Charlie went out to her car. Another example of her hiding emotions from me. I understand what she's been through, I just wish she'd trust in the fact that I'd help her through it.

I let out a sigh that sounded frustrated. What the hell am I supposed to do? I clenched my jaw and moved to the bed, laying my head on the pillow and closing my eyes.

I must have fallen asleep hard because I woke up around 8:30. I knew Charlie was back inside because 1) I heard the TV on, and 2) I had a blanket on me which I'm sure was not there before.

I walked out into the living room and saw Adventure Time on the screen. I went over to the couch and saw Charlie sleeping. I smiled sadly. I was gonna apologize, but I decided to let her sleep. I sat back at the counter and heard her phone go off. On impulse I glanced over and saw a Twitter DM.

Common theme here; trust. I trust Charlie, I really do. She hasn't done a single thing to prove that I can't trust her. But I checked out of curiosity. Go ahead, think I'm a bad person, I don't care. But I looked at that it said. And when I tell you that I felt my heart shatter and fall into my stomach.

"YOU!! ARE!! A!! REBOUND!! we've all been telling you. he doesn't care about you, you aren't going to be a future waterparks song, you aren't anything. just leave awsten alone, the whole band would be better off."

I felt disgusting reading that. And what made it worse is that if one person's saying that, there's got to be more, hence "we've". How many of these has she received?

I glanced over at her, sleeping peaceful and beautiful. I still remember the first time I ever saw her sleeping. It was when she refused to leave me alone over the breakup.

*flashback*

I woke up in a cold sweat. My eyes were puffy, I could feel it just from sitting up. I put on my glasses and looked at the clock.

"4 in the fucking morning," I whispered and laid back down. As my eyes adjusted, I noticed there was a dim light across the room. I looked and saw a figure curled in the chair. Frightened, I walked over to look who it was and saw Charlie shaking. I calmed down and put my hand on her arm. She was fucking freezing. Without thinking, I wormed one arm under her legs, the supporting her back and I picked her up.

She kinda rolled into my chest and I slightly smiled. She looked really peaceful and calm. I laid her on the bed as gently as possible and covered her with a blanket. I curled in the chair but the arm rest dug into my back. After a couple minutes of trying to get comfortable, then a few more of debating where to sleep, I finally came to the conclusion I would have to lay in bed with Charlie. I didn't really care though, I was too exhausted to care.

I laid down and watched her. I felt creepy. I laid on my back and would glance every couple minutes. I could tell that she was dreaming because of her facial expression. I smiled, but then rolled my eyes at myself. What the hell am I doing?

"I can never tell her I've done this," I whispered to myself as I turned over, falling asleep.

*end of flashback*

As I read over the message, I felt it in my stomach. I hated it. I hated reading it. I felt under my jaw start to tighten. The internet is so fucking toxic. People are fucking mean, and I have a thicker skin but Charlie's different. She does have thick skin and she can take certain things, but she's also really sensitive. When things get to her, they really get to her.

"You aren't anything," I read out loud. I clenched my jaw again and sighed. I swiped away the notification. The majority of our fan base was happy we were happy, but there were those people who're jealous. I put her phone down and poured water in our electronic kettle that Charlie absolutely needed. After hearing the beep, alerting it was done, I heard a quiet voice come from the living room.

"Can you make me a cup of green tea with honey?"

Without hesitating, I mixed in honey and planted a tea bag in the water. I walked over to where Charlie was now sitting up and set it down on the coffee table. I planted myself next to her and we locked eyes. It was so silent you could hear a pin drop.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly. "We shouldn't have fought. This is not how I wanted tonight to go."

She smiled slightly.

"I'm sorry too. I also didn't want tonight to go like this."

I leaned in to kiss her and smiled, tasting strawberry and mint.

"I'm just gonna miss you."

I frowned and nodded.

"I'm gonna miss you too."

*𝕀𝕟𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕘𝕣𝕒𝕞*

awstenknight

tagged ⟶waterparks
Liked by underscoregeoff and 32,479 others
awstenknight GONNA MISS EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE BUT I CAN NOT WAIT TO SEE Y'ALL ON TOUR
View all 4,280 comments
blueawsten flex like you should king, you look so good!!
newwave.mp4 WAIT NO I JUST SPENT MY MONEY ON OTHER THINGS
stupid_for_geoff @newwave.mp4 oops, sucks

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(may 9, 2020)