chapter 17

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I didn't end up going to see Maddox the next day. Turns out he was babysitting one of his younger cousins who is shy around new people. Although he did admit to me that he would have much preferred me being there, it would have given him an excuse to not interact with the child. Children can be complicated and annoying but they can also be cute and lovable, depending on what minute of the day your interaction takes place. Therefore I spent my Sunday doing work and researching things for university. You know how normal university students spend their days. Not that I know much about normal university students' lifestyles.

I feel like I was much more anxious then I was supposed to be. I was much more anxious then I was used to being. I have met several ....potential love of my lifes' fathers and mothers and family members. But I felt nervous ,I was pacing ,again, and running my hand trough my hair . I was sure that I had created a few braids in my hair, just at the back at the nape of my neck. I have mentioned before that I play with my hair whenever I'm anxious.

I just wanted to get out of the house as quick as I could. I ate, got dressed and I had my bag packed and ready for around eight am. I knew that Maddox wasn't expecting me until a lot later so I just walked. I walked around the neighbourhood, I walked around the park . I sat and watched the ducks as I had ventured to another park . I just wondered through the streets trying to forget all of my nerves but this was difficult. I knew that the only way that this feeling would go away is if I sucked it up and got it over with.

When I arrived back at Maddox's neighbourhood I was a bit worried about the time, I looked at my phone and to my surprise I had been walking for a good three hours. Which was almost perfect. We hadn't actually talked about times ever since we arranged the first date . We kind of just had a mutual silent agreement that noon would be the best time to meet up.

I had quickly knocked on the door , before hand having put my hair into a bun so that it was out of my way and I couldn't tug on it at any chance that I get. Instead I was messing with My necklace. The door was quickly opened, not quick enough for my liking but it was opened rather quickly and I saw Maddox's bright face which made my worries somewhat disappear and somewhat become more intense.

Maddox's hair was a bit of a mess, it looked as though he brushed it and didn't put too much effort into styling it, which was kind of adorable. He was wearing sweatpants that looked very comfortable and a long T-shirt with a random band on it that I didn't recognize, though I did take a not of it to look up later. From our discussions it didn't seem like a band Maddox would be into but you never know, he had told me before that his music taste is all over the place.

"ches! hi, I'm sorry we didn't arrange a time but this si perfect." Maddox cheerfully greeted me , he seemed a tad nervous which is understandable. The last time that we had met up he had a panic attack. I wasn't sure if he knew that I didn't judge him for having a panic attack and that was what made him nervous but I tried to be as warm as I could when I replied "Good afternoon Maddox, how are you doing?"

He started to walk backwards, letting me into the orange coloured passage. There was a square patterned mat on the floor which seemed a bit too big to be a welcome mat but it seemed to be working and useful. There was an ottoman to the right in front of a radiator and a mirror facing the door. "I'm doing good thank you." Maddox replied happily as he watched me look around. As he shut the door I saw two white canes, one was Maddox's which I saw quite a bit. The one next to it was very different, it was like a walking stick, but it was white and red. After wracking my brain a little bit I had remembered that the colour red on a cane means that the user has a hearing impairment. I suppose this was Maddox's father's cane, I only think that because I had met his mother and she didn't use a cane .

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