Ch. 14

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Elianas pov

There's only one place I hate more than jordyns. Well... two places. My moms house and the psychiatrist. But you get the point. The point is I am not at all ok with being in this building right now.

"I'm not talking to him." I cross my arms.

Wilmer looks at me with pleading eyes, "Eliana please?"

I shake my head, I'm not doing it. Last night isn't anything he needs to know about. All this guy needs to know is my medicine isn't working, I'm depressed, and that's it. The fact I was about to get knives to cut and want to die can be left out. But this stupid doctor is no help anyway so why bother tell him anything to begin with? It's a waste of my time. He always makes me feel hopeful my medicine will work and in a mater of days I crash hard. Because it doesn't work. I'm the stupid one for believing it'd work.

"Eliana Lovato?" I hear.

I stand up and walk to the back where I immediately am forced to do a weight check. Something I don't really get. Why do I have to have my weight checked here? This isn't a real doctor. He just prescribes pills. But whatever.

"He will be in here to talk to you shortly." She says before leaving me behind in the room.

Doesn't mean I'll do any talking.

I stare down at the sleeves of my jacket and hear the door open, but I make no eye contact with him, "Hi Eliana, how have you been?" He asks.

I shrug not giving him a response as he sits at his desk, "So last time you were her your mom addresses some concerns that the depression was getting pretty bad. I put you on a new antidepressant, hows it been working?"

You mean you put me on an entirely new medicine last time and it's still not doing anything? Wow, my mind must be fucked for even medication to not work.

"I've been good." I lie.

"You haven't harmed yourself?" He asks.

Yes.

"No." I say.

"Have you been feeling down at all? Or even numb at times?" He asks.

Everyday.

"No." I say.

"Are you sure? I talked to your dad on the phone and he told me a bit about what had been going on." He says.

"Can I have his number and name? I'd like to talk to him next. I haven't ever met my dad before so this would be nice." I say.

If he thinks he's going to get an answer out of me, he's mistaking. I will not admit what I've done when I know that I could be shoved into a psych hospital. I already know Wilmer talked to him, I wouldn't have this appointment had he not. So do you really think I'm stupid enough to say 'yes I've been down' or 'yes I hurt myself' or 'No I didn't, but I wanted to?' to this guy? Because you're just as much as a clown as he is if you think I will. I'm not going to go to a psych hospital and I won't admit anything and confirm what Wilmers told him either.

"I'm sorry, Wilmer. Wilmer told me a bit about what happened yesterday." He says.

I shrug, "I'm not Wilmer so why don't you talk to Wilmer since you clearly like doing so. He's single, not sure if he's bi though. Who knows, maybe you two will hit it off enough he'll change his sexuality."

"We're talking about you right now and what happened yesterday." He says.

"Nothing happened yesterday." I shrug.

He continues to try and budge the information out of me but after 20 minutes of me giving him nothing, he gives up.

"Ok can you wait in the room at the end of the hall for me?" He asks.

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