Unexpeted

Ch. 3

Elianas pov

If looks could kill, I'd be dead. It's as simple as that. My mom didn't have to say a word for me to know she was very angry. The glare she'd give me said it all.

It's because of that my heart was racing so quickly that my chest actually hurt. It was hard to breathe, it felt like I was standing in a sauna I was so hot, and I feel absolutely sick to my stomach.

When we get home, my relief isn't here. She didn't yell at me in the car so that means she has to yell at me here right? That's how it goes doesn't it?

I get out of the car before my mom and rush upstairs to the bathroom. I lock the bathroom door behind me and sit in front of the toilet. I know it's about to happen. My stomach feels so sick, there's no way it's not about to happen.

I hear the door slam shut and that's when the tears begin and it's even more difficult to breathe. This point of the anxiety is all it takes for me to start gagging and my body get rid of lunch.

I throw up for what feels like hours before my body decides it has nothing more to vomit up and I flush the toilet. I stand up and walk to bedroom and get in my bed feeling nothing but anxiety.

I hear heels click on the stairs and as I see the shadow of my mom approaching I am on the verge of an anxiety attack.

I watch as my mom walks through my bedroom door and I make eye contact with her for a quick second before breaking it. The look of sheer anger in her eyes is far too much for me to look at.

"What you said today was so far out of line Eliana." She hisses.

But I'm not wrong. Why can't you see it? Everyone around you does.

"I'm sorry." I say quietly.

"No." She laughs sarcastically, "You're sorry now because you're in trouble. If you were sorry, you'd have said sorry after you said what you said."

I'm sorry because I'm scared.

"Give me the phone. You'll get it back when you learn to respect the person who pays your phone bill." She hisses.

I put my phone on my nightstand and once she walks in my direction I tense up as I begin to shake from anxiety and fear, "And I'm not sure you'll be going to your aunts next week. You've got a lot of apologizing to do." She growls.

I see Victoria stand in the hallway across from my bedroom and I try my absolute hardest to block her out. I guess my moms gotten what she wants out of me and walks out which is when I rush to my closet and close the door behind me.

I lock the door before sitting in the small space and hyperventilate uncontrollably. I know it's not good to do, but I have no one to calm me down to tell me how to really breathe. My mom hasn't done that in absolute ages.

"I think you scared her Demi." I hear Victoria say.

"She sure wasn't scared to say what she did earlier. I don't care if she's scared or not. She deserves to be punished and I'm not going to not punish her just because she had anxiety." My mom says.

"Demi, she threw up way before you ever talked to her. I think she understood you were angry during the car ride. She clearly regrets whatever she said, was it necessary to take the phone and scare her?"

"Maybe she'll learn respect."

"Or she'll learn she can't talk to you or voice her opinions because she's scared to do so. You know there's a reason I don't talk to my mom or dad. This would be the exact reason I don't. Because everytime I did I'd get yelled at and it lead to me just being scared of them. You and Eliana used to have a really good relationship, I know that. But look at it now Demi. She's hiding in her closet because she's scared of you. I know you don't want her to turn 18 and never speak to you again. But if you keep doing this, I'm telling you that's exactly what's going to happen. It's exactly what happened to me. I chose to live on the streets over live with them for another day. I'm not saying you can't punish her, but scaring her to the point of anxiety isn't the way to do things either. That's your daughter, she loves you and you're the person she used to turn to for help with anxiety. How do you think she feels now that you're the person causing her anxiety?"

Stop it Victoria. Stop giving her advice on what to do. If she can't figure it out herself, then I don't want to see her. It shouldn't take someone else talking to her for her to open her eyes. Seriously, stop.

I hear silence for a few moments until I hear Victoria speak up again, "You need to talk to her calmly Demi. A natural response to getting in trouble isn't an anxiety attack. Something had to have happened to her that makes her fear getting yelled at or getting in trouble. For that reason you have to remember that when you talk to her right? Because if you don't talk to her calmly then what are you going to resolve? She's only going to be far to scared to talk to you and only suffer as you yell at her. I don't i wow hat happened, but if you're going to take the phone, at least calmly tell her why, tell her when she'll get it back, and tell her that you taking something from her doesn't mean you don't love her. Because she is absolutely terrified right now. You made her throw up Demi."

"I'll talk to her later, I'm not going to get anywhere now anyway."

Wow, you sure seem enthusiastic and sympathetic with that response. It sounds like taking care of me is seeming to just feel like a responsibility and chore rather than something you really want to do anyway.

I hear my moms heels click downstairs and I scoot further back in my closet until my backs touching the wall.

I wait to hear Victoria go downstairs, but I never hear the second set of footsteps be heard. It makes me even more anxious than I am now, where is she? I need to know where she is. I don't want to open my closet door to see her in my room.

I shake for a while until I hear the second set of footsteps go downstairs. Once I do, I relax a little bit. They are both finally gone.

I stay where I am until I've calmed down and once I do, I walk into my room. I close my door and just crawl into my bed.

Todays been one of the worst days in a while. Something tells me tomorrow won't be much better not will my mom actually come talk to me and attempt to make amends later tonight.

But can I say I'm surprised? No. Most of our arguments recently have stayed unresolved. It's the new normal really.

My only hope is I do get to go to my aunts next week because I really need a break from my mom. A major one. But I think I just messed up my opportunity of freedom today.

I should've kept my mouth shut. I know to do that next time, but I truly don't have an excuse as to why I thought it would be a good idea to begin with. I usually have so much self control in therapy and I've never exploded like I have today. I normally don't give up any information in it. I don't know why what happened happened today. But I now remember why I don't talk in it.

I really hope I can just be left alone for the rest of today and tomorrow. I don't want to talk or see anyone for a good few hours.