[[[all of my flaws]]][[[part ii]]]

17.

Dans mood didn't seem to improve much over the course of the next two days. I hoped it was just tiredness or stress, nothing that a day off couldn't cure. Even when he sat next to me in the van on the way back to our homes, he just seemed to stare out of the window. When we pulled up outside his apartment block he left without a word.

'I'll see you back here tomorrow morning, 9am.' He waved but didn't turn around. I watched his backpack disappear through the doors.

'Is he alright?' I turned to Will behind me.

'Don't know.'

'Do you guys even talk to each other?' They were so typically blokes. Never speaking about their feelings.

'He won't tell us. I think he's had a fall out with Emma.'

'Who's Emma?'

'His girlfriend.'

I don't even know why, but the words cut through me. Girlfriend? He'd never mentioned a girlfriend. But then, I hadn't asked. I hadn't asked him anything about what he'd been up to. Apart from pleasantries and a brief chat about the weather, we hadn't spoken at all. Sure we'd been amicable and had at least moved past totally ignoring each other. And that's where it had stopped. And I found myself jealous. I was envious of whoever it was that got to lie beside him each night and share her life with him. That could've been me. This shocked me. I had chosen to walk out of our marriage and I had no right to feel that way.

Woody and I were going back to our parents in Plymouth. Which was somewhat terrifying. But it didn't stop me thinking about Dan. Apart from me genuinely wanting to know if he was ok, I did have to make sure this tour flowed without him going insane.

*hope everything's ok dan and let me know if there's anything I can do? Lily*

I never expected to get a reply and wasn't shocked when I didn't. I'd clearly burned any I had bridge with Dan. Which was sad. In the space of a week I had gone from being totally fine with what had happened. I had learnt to forget the past and look forward. Then of course that was before two sides of my life had collided. Now I was just confused and over thinking things.