[[[all of my flaws]]][[[part ii]]]

13.

'Lily?' He said quietly. I didn't respond. I hoped he thought I was sleeping. Even though I doubted I'd be getting much sleep. I had far too much on my mind to switch off. I was finding it so hard to concentrate on what I was supposed to be doing when I was so consumed with guilt. Every time he looked at me with those kind blue eyes, all I could think about was how much I must've hurt him. I had walked away without ever looking back, no explanation, nothing but a sorry note. How he could cope without wanting to kill me I'd never know.

I guessed the kindest thing I could do was at least stop ignoring him and stop treating him like he'd done something wrong.

'Yeah?' I eventually replied.

'I...' He began. But a long silence hung in the air, as though he was thinking what to say next. 'Good night.' He said with a sigh. Whatever it was he was going to say, I doubted it had been just 'goodnight'.

That had been my queue to speak up. But I couldn't. I was still too ashamed of what I'd done to face it.

I must've dropped off at some point, because I awoke to my alarm at 9. I was surprised to find Dan had already dressed and left the room with his things. At least it was over. We wouldn't be sharing a room again, I was to make sure of that. Once dressed and my bags packed, I went down the hallway to collect the band and crew. I'd got a text saying the driver was down stairs waiting to take us to the next venue. We'd also be collecting our shiny new massive tour bus, bunk beds and all.

I knocked on Woody's door, who answered within moments, his bag packed and ready to go. I was relieved at least he seemed on the ball at this time of the morning.

'Driver is waiting down stairs, head down and I'll see you there in a minute.'

'Can we get breakfast?' He asked.

'We'll stop somewhere, don't worry.' I assured him. An army marches on its stomach, I thought. It was my job to keep them fed and happy.

'Morning!' I called, letting myself into the ajar door of Will and Kyle's room. It was as though a bomb had gone off in there. Clothes littered every surface, including the tv and the windowsill. 'We need to be downstairs in two minutes. Get this tidied up.' I warned them. They were both lying on their beds, apparently oblivious to the mess and urgency.

'Yeah.' Kyle replied but didn't move.

'Now.' I told them. Will got up with a sigh and Kyle followed suit a moment later. 'Wheres Dan?' I asked. I figured he'd be in their room as he hadn't been in Woody's. They both shrugged. Shit. I hoped I hadn't lost him. I could replace the other three, but not the lead singer.

Luckily my panic was short lived. He was sat outside the hotel on the curb, talking to the sound guys. He gave me a small wave to which I smiled. I had to start being nicer towards him. None of this was his fault. I had to deal with this like an adult.