48. I feel like I'm Drowning.

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drown
/draʊn/
verb
gerund or present participle: drowning
die through submersion in and inhalation of water.

"Oh um, Erwin, he's a friend of mine. What's makes you ask, shorty?"

"I don't know. I just remember us, working in an office, with another man. Bushy eyebrows, kind of arrogant. The name Erwin ... it rings a bell."

Hanji had no clue what was going on. Levi could remember Erwin, but not Eren? Levi seemed to be slowly piecing parts of his life back together, but only the small parts.

"Do you remember anything else?"

"Yeah. This realm ... it isn't home. I want to go back. How do I go back?"

"You can't. Portals can't be created without the right supplies. Which are rare, and expensive. I'm sorry, we have to stay here Levi."

Levi figured something was off. Hanji wouldn't tell a serious lie...but she'd tell minor lies to cover one up. What was she hiding? He just wanted to go home.

"You're lying."

"I'm not! I'm sorry Levi, but there's no way for you to go home." 

He had to get to the bottom of this. There's no way he'd let Hanji lie to him. Stop him from doing something he wants to do.

___

Levi stood outside the door, listening in carefully. He could hear music, but also faint muffled cries.

He was unsure whether to act normal, like he didn't hear, or just ask what was wrong.

Because he did wonder. How could someone so young, be so broken inside? Why was Eren like this? What had happened to him, that was so bad?

Levi would never admit it, but part of him cared. Part of him felt like he needed to comfort Eren. Hold him. Tell him it would all be okay. But he can't.

Sometimes he'd wonder, is Petra really the one he's supposed to be with? Why did his life feel so...wrong?

The conversation he had with Eren, it seemed so natural to Eren. But something held him back from completely falling apart in front of Levi.

"Hey brat. Can I talk to you?"

Eren's head shot up towards the door quickly, panic taking over his body.

"I- um, yeah, give me a sec!"

Eren;

Shit.

I quickly turned off the music that was playing and wiped my eyes with my jumper. I pulled down my sleeves entirely, holding the ends between my palm and fingers.

I looked at myself in the mirror, noticing the bags under my eyes and the puffiness from the crying.

"Come in!"

I stood in the doorway of my bathroom and bedroom, watching as the doorknob slowly turned. Anxiety bubbled within me as Levi entered my room, closing the door behind him.

"Hey brat, are you okay?"

Why does he keep asking me this? I have to keep holding myself back from just falling into his arms and asking for comfort.

"Nothing? Why did you think there was something wrong?"

"First of all, I'm an alpha. You reek of depression. Secondly, your face is puffy, you've been crying. Is that dickhead still bothering you?"

Why does he care? Why is he here?

"He doesn't really have a choice. He doesn't even know that he's the dickhead. But can we not talk about this please, I'd rather cry alone in my room wallowing in self pity."

"Talking helps. I don't care how long it takes, but I'll stay here, until you talk. I'll listen, too."

"Back when we were just starting our lives together, things were different. He was kind, he was loving. He cared so much, that sometimes it hurt. I was in a dark place, struggling to escape my thoughts. He saw the scars, and he used his alpha voice to make me show him. He got disappointed. At that point, I was ready to give it all up. He thought he was to blame. That he didn't love me enough. That he wasn't there enough.

I thought that ending it all would make the pain go away. Not just for me, but for him too. That he'd be able to find someone better. But the moon goddess, she fated us to be together. Neither of us could relate. We were bound together, forever. But now, I'm losing hope. It's like, she wants us to be together, but the world doesn't. We've fought so hard to be together, and someone just stole it in the blink of an eye."

"I don't think he was disappointed with you, but more with himself. If you're truly fated to be together, he'll come back. Forever is a long time, Eren. You may have to wait years before you find love in each other again. Now, I'm going to stay here until you calm down and fall asleep. It's the least I can do for you."

What? What happened to the cold hearted alpha I was warned about? Why is he showing ... sympathy?

"I don't need sleep."

"Get into bed. Close your eyes. And sleep. Now."

I cowered at the alpha voice filling the room. A whimper escaped my lips and I hurriedly crawled into bed.

"Goodnight, Eren."

___

Levi;

I didn't want to care.

I don't know why, but I did.

Something about him seemed so special to me. He seemed special. Like he was made to be in my life.

I can't help but wonder what happened to make him this depressed and sleep deprived. I wanted to know more. I wanted to know about him. I wanted to hear his story.

I was so drawn to him in every way possible. Not like I was to Petra. I don't understand. It's different. Eren's different.

I didn't want to leave. Incase he had a nightmare, or was scared of being alone.

I decided to gather a blanket and a pillow, setting up my own bed on the floor beside where Eren was sleeping. I laid down, closing my eyes with no intention of sleeping.

I was drowning in my thoughts. With no one to save me.

Tied by fate ~ Ereri / Riren {Omegaverse}Where stories live. Discover now