The Nerd Who Rules The School

Chapter 45

The walk was a long one, but it was good for me. With arching legs, I took my finally steps toward my destination.

A sense of déjà vu hit me. Standing in front of her tombstone, with the sun kissing the horizon and only my sweater to fight off the cold breeze. My mind flashed back to the nightmares.

Trying my best to not think about it, I focused on her tombstone instead. It was an ordinary one, shaped like all the other tombstones in the cemetery. It was right next to her mother's, whose was next to her father's.

The words on it was pretty simple,

In loving memory of
Maya Coralie Gaural
March 23 2001- November 15 2018
A beloved daughter, sister and friend.

It still felt surreal, like this was just one of the nightmares, but the cool, alien, feeling of the clockwork angel between my collarbones told me otherwise.

Feeling awkward standing up, I knelt down. I knew I should start talking or saying something, but I was never good with situations like this.

I had no idea how to start. I was never comfortable with speaking out my thoughts. I always kept them to myself, because speaking them out loud didn't make sense and it made them more real.

So I pulled out the letter, which I thankfully brought with me and began to read them silently.

Hey Laura,

First off, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! You are finally 17!!! Yay!! So knowing you, you had opened the present before reading this letter so I hope you like it! (I mean I know you so you MUST like it:))

I don't want this to be a snappy letter because I had already written a lot and there's more coming.

So I'm going to once again remind you that I love you and I can't wait to spend this birthday and the followings with you XD.

Now I'm writing this part to prove that I knew about you and Asher from the beginning. (Yes I'm not blind, I can see the signs and don't deny it Lau, denial isn't a good look on you;)) If by the time you are reading this and you guys are still not together then you bet the next time I see you I will smack some sense into you:)) so this letter proves that I was the first fan of this ship and I better be the maid of honor, wedding planner and godmother ;)) (but if you guys actually break up (which I don't think it's possible but) we will burn this part of the letter)

Now I don't want this to be super long so once again HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I love you so so much, I love you to the end of the worlds and back 🖤

Your bestest friend,
Love, Maya

I laughed, yes I laughed when I finished reading it. Because it was just so Maya. The tone, the way she wrote it, the handwriting; I could literally hear her speaking it to me when I was reading it.

"Oh Maya," I turned towards the tombstone and began talking like I was actually having a conversation with her, "I love you so much too. I-I am so sorry that I wasn't here to bury you, but you understand right?"

Only silence answered me, but I continued on, "I missed you, more than anything else. Our dumb conversations and sleepovers and hang outs. School is literally so boring I can't even. I wish- I wish more than anything that you are still here. I can't, I can't do this. I wish-" I took a deep breath, knowing that I should stop rambling.

"I know I will need to move on, but honestly, I don't want. But when has life ever waited for any of us? I guess life drags on and along the way it forces me to move on. But no matter what. I promise you, I won't ever forget you, ever. You will always be my best friend, no matter what, no one will ever take your place."

Choking back a sob, I changed the topic, "you know, you are right. Of course you are right, you are always right. Yes I do like him Maya, and guess what? He confessed, and then I confessed, and we actually freaking kiss. Can you believe it? Gods I wish you are here to freak out with me and tell me what to do next. I just had my freaking first kiss and I never- I never actually imagine you not being here. I always thought you would be here to witness it."

My voice was cracking so much, but I couldn't stop now, words were pouring out of me and if they don't, they would just drown me.

"Anyways enough about me, you know, Tom was devastated, he, he took it as bad as me and- and I felt so bad for him. Gods I actually believed you guys would last, like you guys could actually make this work. But now we will never know. And your brother, Gods I feel so so bad for him. He lost his whole family in one night."

And I continued on and on. The more I spoke, the lighter I felt. I could feel myself actually swimming in the sea, no longer brought down by the waves.

I let out all the feelings, my monsters and demons. The only thing missing were replies and answers.

At last, when my voice had gone hoarse, I finally stopped. Then I noticed the sun was completely gone and the moon and stars had taken its place.

I wiped my tears, and I gave Maya a small smile, "I love you, I will be back soon, next time with gifts. Don't worry, I will keep on updating you about my life, and you will always be the first and only person to know everything. I love you."

I got up and looked up. Somehow, the sky seemed brighter than it had been when I first came.

I finally learned how to swim, and the sea no longer frighten me.