Naïve // Trixya

42

TW ! Same topics as last chapter.

KATYA POV:

Maybe I overreacted when I walked in on Trixie in the bathroom, maybe. I wouldn't put it past her though, I wouldn't be shocked to know that she cut when she lived here I mean the place is awful, but I've also never seen any scars on Trixie? I just couldn't believe she might have almost done it now, why else would she have the blade? I feel like a I maybe making assumptions and thats why I'm gunna talk to her.

" hey Judy can you give Trixie and I a moment." I asked walking back into Trixie's room seeing she was awake.

" aww c'mon Katya please can I stay I promise I won't be annoying you won't even know I'm here." She begged sounding like she was 12 instead of 18.

" It's not that Judy, just please I need to talk to her." I said trying not to get upset at the girl. Its not her fault Trixie was gone for 5 years she wants to spend time with her I get it but my Patients was growing thin.

" Katy-"

" Judy now." I said sternly clutching the blade I had yet to dispose of.

" okay." She whispered scurrying out her head down.

" I'm sorry its just important we will all hangout again later tonight." I said as she passed me. She just gave a small nod and slipped into her room.

With a sigh I sat down on Trixie's old bed, the springs screeching in protest. I needed a minute just one, to process what I saw. I've never seen any scars on Trixie so I'm just going to assume she was starting now or since we got here. But the thing is I'm assuming which doesn't give me any real answers. I need to hear it from the horses mouth, from Trixie.

I knew Trixie, so I knew she wouldn't come out of the bathroom to me, I'm going to have to go get her. I got up and walked to the bathroom the blade still in my hands, I didn't want to let it go, not yet. I don't want to forget were I put it and have Trixie get it back, or even worse, have Judy find it.

I lightly knocked on the door before I opened it knowing Trixie wouldn't answer me if I asked to come in. Trixie was sat on the toilet the same place I left her. Her cheeks had dried mascar stains her her eyes were puffy and red. I quietly shut the bathroom door and walked over to Trixie, crouching infront of her.

" Trixie, we need to talk." I said softly looking up at her.

She didn't even bat an eye, actually she didn't even spare me a glance when I walked in.

" I'm sorry, I shouldn't have assumed the situation and I shouldn't have been so quick to get angry." I spoke trying to break through.

She still didn't look at me, her eyes focused on a crack in the wall.

" Trixie, please." I spoke taking her chin between my thumb and index finger tilting it down to me.

Her eyes finally met mine. She looked gone...like she had completely blanked out. It was probably a defense mechanism. That crushed my heart, I triggered one of her abuse defences.

" Please talk to me." I whispered looking into her eyes, searching for literally anything, any flick of emotion.

" You acted just like him, you were just like Dane." She spoke staring at me point blank.

I felt tears well up in my own eyes. Me, the one person besides Amy who is there for her and loves her, acted like her abusive step father. I broke her.

" Trixie I- I'm so sorry." I sobbed crumpling in a ball at her feet.

She just sat there and let me sob at her feet. She didn't say a word but her gaze never left my crying form either. It's like she was having an internal debate. A debate I was supposed to help with but now I'm having a breakdown on the floor.

" I wasn't gunna do it." She spoke. " I had just found the blade accidentally when I was looking through my old drawer for a hairbrush. It cut my finger tips so I pulled it out forgetting that I stashed it there. I don't cut, not anymore." Her eyes traveled back up the wall to the same crack in the drywall as before.

" I'm so sorry I just assumed and I shouldn't have and I was just so sad and upset with myself at the thought of me not being enough support that you felt like you had to cut again." I spoke sitting up again.

Nothing, back to silence again. She said her explaination and she was done with me, I broke her trust.

" T-Trixie, if you used to cut why don't you have scars?" I asked remembering why I assed she was starting now.

" Kim, she told me they made me look ugly and desperate so I got them lazed away." She said sparing me a quick glance.

" oh Trixie." I sigh new tears welling in my eyes. What hasn't Kim done to Trixie? She had already mentally abused her so much I'm surprised she didn't get physical.

I lightly placed a hand on her thigh but she flinched away. I was now associated in her mind with Dane, her body is now scared to let me touch it, I fucked up.

" Trixie please I'm so sorry I can't stand the fact that I hurt you! Thats the last thing I'd ever want to do." I said sobbing about halfway through.

I looked up at Trixie and she had tears welling in her eyes to, she was fighting it, she didn't want to forgive me, her mind was telling her no but she broke, bursting into tears and yanking me off the floor into her lap.

" Don't you ever fucking yell at me like that again." She sobbed into my shoulder.

" I promise baby I never ever will ever again, never." My heart beat relaxed as I felt her arms around me tightly.

" LADIES DINNER." Danes voice called through the halls. Great now we have to go deal with him.

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