Out of my Mind // A Brendon Urie Fanfiction

fourteen

I stutter to find words, my eyes bulging out of my head at the sight in front of me.

"A-Alec? You-what are you doing here?" Anger takes over his bright blue eyes that I thought I'd never have to see again.

"What am I doing here? I'm here for you. Now answer the damn question: where the hell have you been?" I shrink down, feeling as small as I once did two years ago.

"I've been here." He huffs and shakes his head as if to say I'm being ridiculous.

"No shit. So what? You decided to just run away from your problems like a bitch? Your mom is worried sick about you and all I can see that all you've been doing is whoring around." He gestures to the bruise on my neck and I lift my hand up to cover it.

"How did you find me?" He folds his arms.

"It doesn't matter. I'm bringing you home. That's where your family and friends are, or did you forgot about them?" My mind feels jumbled in every way possible. This was the last thing I expected to be doing today, and it's the last thing I ever want to do. I always figured that this time would come; where I'd have to face my past and confront everything I wanted to leave behind. But I didn't think it'd be so soon.

"I'm staying here." He clenches his jaw and runs a hand down his face. God, he's changed so much in the past two years. I see the worry lines creased in between his eyebrows and the tired glint in his eyes.

"You're lucky I came all the way out here for you." Anger boils up to the surface and I try to remain calm, but I can't keep my mouth shut any more. I used to let people control me without saying a word, but I can't do that again. So I let my words spill out onto the ground.

"You can call me a whore and you can call me a bitch, but don't ever try to make me think that I need you. If you've been wondering where I've been, then maybe you're the problem, Alec." I walk back into the line and he stands next to me.

"You don't get to walk away from me." I glare at him, pushing his shoulder with everything I have in me. He stumbles backwards, his gaze becoming deadly.

"And you don't get to walk all over me. Not anymore. That's not who I am and I'm never going to be that girl again, so fuck off and get the hell out of my face." With a grunt, he finally leaves me alone. But sadly, I know that isn't the last I'm going to see of him. I'm just relieved that the worst is over.

After ordering, I head over to Emery, who sits at the table shoving food in her mouth. I sit down and immediately start dipping the pretzels in the cheese.

"What took you so long?"

"I ran into an old friend." She nods her head and continues eating. In that moment, I decided that I'm not going to let that encounter ruin me. Maybe the next one, or the biggest one of all: seeing my family, but today isn't it.

After we finish up, we head to a lot of different stores with no luck. We decide to leave and just chill back at my place with pizza and a movie. That was our plan at least, until we approach a Victoria's Secret.

"Oh my god, Courtney! We have to go here and get you something super sexy for Alec." I wince at his name, hoping she doesn't notice.

"No, I think I'm okay." She rolls her eyes and drags me in,"if he doesn't like me in my baggy clothes, then he doesn't deserve me, right?" She rummages through the buckets of lingerie.

"We don't have to do this for him, then. You deserve to feel like you're sexy, cause you are. I mean, hot damn. I'd smash." I laugh and she smacks my butt,"I'm serious. Start looking." I begin to search with her, stumbling upon stiff bras printed with palm trees and polka dots.

Emery walks up with a shit-eating grin on her face and her hands held behind her back. I curiously raise an eyebrow.

"What do you have?" I ask her like she's a dog that's chewing on a foreign object. She bites her lip in attempt to seize the smile on her face.

"Look, I know that it's not really your thing, but keep in mind that you're a hot ass woman who needs to feel like one every once in a while, okay?"

"Just show me." She reveals a set of black, lace underwear along with another one in red. I immediately shake my head,"oh c'mon! It's a buy one get one free deal and these would look stunning on you." I naw on my inner cheek and try to envision what I would look like. I've come to the quick conclusion that I'd look like a joke.

"I can't wear those, E. It's way too much. Jesus, you can see right through it." I take the soft material in my hands and look at the price. $55. I guess it isn't awful for two sets of underwear, but when am I ever gonna wear these?

"Alec's gonna go crazy when he sees you in this. Any guy would. You're getting these and that's final. No arguing now come on, we've got a movie waiting for us back home." She takes me to the cashier stand where were rung up and I try to insert my card, but Emery gets to it first.

"What are you doing?" She smiles as she puts in her PIN number.

"Consider it your early birthday present." The cashier hands us the bag and I sling my arm around Emery's shoulder.

"Have I ever told you you're the best?" I honestly don't know what has been going on in the past couple weeks to make us drift so far apart. I came into this questioning our friendship and I'm not even sure why. These hang outs are what I've been missing.

"You don't have to tell me, I already know." We laugh and she puts her arm around my waist.

Suddenly, a thought occurs to me. I guess I never realized that when Emery was telling me to buy those underwear for Alec, it really meant they were for Brendon. And I think I know the perfect way to show them to him.