Out of my Mind // A Brendon Urie Fanfiction

thirty three

There's never enough time.

I'm trying to live in the moment, but my mind drifts. I think of the dinner, and I dread every second leading up to it. I feel like I need to prepare myself for the worst. Family dinners have always been godawful.

I've been sprawled out on the couch for a whole day, and I have to see my parents again tomorrow. Hopefully, tomorrow doesn't come too soon.

"C'mon, Courtney. Get off your ass, we're going out." She throws a dress my way, and it covers my face. Both Blake and Lana are dressed up, groping each other.

"Why?"

"Because you haven't gotten out of that spot since you got home yesterday. And I'm not going to leave my guest all alone, so you're coming. Get over it." I groan in annoyance.

"Where are we going?"

"Out. We're going out. Now go change and get ready." Blake answers for Lana, and I'm too afraid to tell her no, so I do it anyways. I pull on the dress, and it hugs me tighter than I would usually like it to. But I haven't been eating much lately, so my body has started slimming.

I put on a little bit of makeup and put water in my hair to bring back it's natural curl. Once I leave the bathroom, we're basically already out of the door. A bottle of alcohol is shoved into my hands.

"Drink some before the party. You might need the buzz." I probably do. I haven't been to a New York club in so long. But from what I can remember, chances are pretty slim that I'm going back to Lana's apartment tonight.

I didn't know that couples still liked to do the party stuff. I just thought it was a way to blow off some steam. At least that's what it's always been for me.

By the time we get to the club, all the alcohol is already gone and I feel lightheaded as hell. Lana helps me out of the car and I hiccup as we wait in line. For what feel like forever. I rub my arms as goosebumps rise and my teeth chatter together.

"Go ahead." We're led in and Lana tries to talk to me, but I don't hear a word of what she says. But I nod anyways, letting her walk away.

Lights reflect off of the smoke and make me feel like I'm in a dream. People are dancing and drinking without a care in the world, but I have too many of those.

I head to the bar and sit down, already drunk from the drinking in the car. I order a whiskey and look around. I can already feel a headache coming.

Across the bar, I see a man smirking at me. He's cute. Black hair, stubble covering the bottom half of his face and from what I can tell, green eyes. I hold eye contact with him until he finally gets up and comes over.

"Mind if I get you a drink?"

"I just got one, but how about you get me round two?" He smiles, settling down in the seat next to me.

"It's a deal. I'm Ben." He holds out his hand and I take it in my own, almost missing.

"Bria." Rule number one of going out to clubs: never give out your real name. I may be drunk, but I'm not a complete idiot.

"Well, Bria, it's nice to meet you." My drink is set in front of me, and I take a sip.

"So, Ben, what are you doing at a place like this?" It's basically my way of getting to see what he wants from me. Probably sex.

"I'm just looking for a nice girl to buy drinks for, that's all." I lean in closer, making sure our eyes are locked. I'm not completely sure what's coming over me, but I can't stop myself.

"Are you sure about that?" I pull him in closer, moving my lips next to his ear, making sure they graze his earlobe first. "How about you meet me in the bathroom and I can show you a better way to spend your time?" I feel his unsteady breaths as I pull away, standing up and downing the rest of my drink before finding the nearest bathroom. It takes everything in me to try not and stumble around like a newborn giraffe, but eventually, I get there and I wait.

I wait until I don't think he's going to show up, but soon enough, the door opens and he pushes me into a stall, locking it behind him. He roughly grabs my hips and pulls me in to him, his lips locking with mine. His tongue almost automatically darts in my mouth. He slides my dress up, his cold hand shocking on my skin.

"Why don't we go back to my place?"

"I think this should be fine." And I really don't want to do the walk of shame in the morning.

Someone enters the bathroom, and I signal at him to be quiet. He finds the sweet spot on my neck and I have to bite my lip.

"Where the hell would she have gone? I told her to stay there because I had a surprise for her and then she just disappears. Again." I recognize the voice as Lana's.

"She probably didn't hear you. It's not a big deal, we can find her later. C'mon babe, let's go dance." I let out a shaky breath, and my head falls back against the stall.

"Is someone in here? Oh god, I think someone's having sex. Keep it in your pants!" She bangs on the stall door. "This is basically sexual harassment to my ears." The semi-broken lock shakes itself open and the door swings.

"Oh my god. Seriously?" She grabs my arm and pulls me out.

"What are you doing?"

"Saving you from doing something you're gonna regret." Blake stays behind, probably to make sure Ben doesn't follow us. But I wouldn't mind. He was cute.

"You're such a cockblocker." My words slur together.

"You're gonna thank me in the morning. I mean Jesus, we weren't even in the for more than 20 minutes and you're already trying to screw someone? That's usually the type of thing that happens at the end of the night."

"It's my life." She grabs my shoulders, holding me in place to look me in the eye.

"You would have hated yourself for doing that, because no matter how much you try to deny it, you like Brendon. A lot. Maybe you even love him. I'm not about to let you do something stupid that could hurt you. And you're probably not going to remember this conversation in the morning, but I'll be the one you're supposed to thank at your wedding."

My brain can't comprehend a word she's saying, so I begin to laugh. But in the back of my mind, the part that isn't going to remember a word of what she said, I hold her words.

Just in case.