Out of my Mind // A Brendon Urie Fanfiction

forty one

Brendon's POV~

"Who the fuck are you?"

"I could ask you the same thing." I try my best to keep my cool, but when I look at him all I see is the pain behind Courtney's eyes when she spoke about him. Her sweaty hand grips mine harder as Alec moves closer to us.

"Alec. I was Courtney's boyfriend." I refrain a smirk from forming on my lips.

"Was, huh? That's nice." I almost forget the extra pairs of eyes that carefully watch us like we're animals about to attack.

It's easy to spot her siblings; they look almost identical. The similarities stop in the eyes. They don't have the same breathtaking blue hue that Courtney has. I don't think anyone in the world does. Instead, their eyes are hazel, almost green.

The girl next to them must be Lana. At least there's someone here that she's on good terms with. I think she might've fallen apart if there wasn't.

"I'm here to talk," Courtney finally emerges from behind me,"so let's talk."

"I was hoping we could talk alone." I picture Alec in a closed room with Courtney, talking to her in a way that makes her shrink. Manipulating her mind into thinking she's worthless, when she's exactly the opposite.

And then I think of myself lurching forward, pinning him down and slamming my fist straight into his nose.

"Like hell-"

"It's okay, Brendon." She slowly speaks to me, but her eyes don't leave Alec's face. "I'll be back." My hand drops to my side as she walks away. Before Alec can follow, I grab his arm, harshly digging my fingers in.

"I'm going to be outside the entire time. If you try anything, I'll make sure you're picking up your teeth with your broken fingers before you leave." I shove him away from me, and Courtney glares at me from the end of the hallway. Jealousy writhes in my chest and I clamp my teeth together when the door to her bedroom closes.

"I wouldn't worry too much. She's not an idiot." My eyes are glued to the hallway and I try to think of all the possible outcomes.

"That doesn't mean he isn't."

"Well, I'm Lana. This is Claire and Will. Friend and siblings." I shake their hands, but Will doesn't hold his out to me so I'm left with my hand dangling in the air.

"Brendon. Boyfriend." She nods. My eyes shift back and forth from the door to her face.

"You care about her, huh?" This time, it's Claire that speaks. Her voice is a lot lighter than Courtney's is as well as her bright blonde hair. Her eyebrow twitches upwards and I nod.

"Yeah, I do." I pause,"what do you think they're talking about?" Lana shrugs.

"Probably wants her back." I scowl,"kidding! Sort of.." I curse under my breath, too worried about what's going on inside to focus on the people in front of me. It's not me they're here to see.

I wait about 5 more minutes until my anger boils over. My heavy feet make their way to her bedroom and I pound on the door.

"Time's up!" I twist the doorknob and fling it open. Alec's nostrils flare in anger and I point to the living room. "Move it." He crashes into my shoulder as he walks out and it takes every muscle in my body not to hit him. I look back to Courtney. "You okay?"

She looks flustered and conflicted. She briefly squeezes her eyes shut before nodding, forcing out a small laugh.

"I'm good."

"What did he say to you?"

"Let's go out there, yeah?" She brushes past me to the living room. I just stand there for a minute. She knows I'm not completely oblivious. Obviously something happened, and if she's not telling me, then it couldn't have been good.

I meet them as they sit on the couch, Alec in the chair closest to Courtney. I stay standing across from him with my arms folded, watching every move he makes.

"It hasn't even been that long since I saw you guys. Why are you here again?" She mostly talks to her siblings, hostility evident in her tone.

"Because of mom." My eyes immediately dart back to Courtney to see her reaction. Her family is a touchy subject, especially when it comes to her mother. She looks down, her nails jabbing her palms like they always do when she gets nervous.

I'm not sure if she knows I can feel the arched scars when we hold hands. I wish she wouldn't do that.

"What about her?"

"She hasn't been doing great, no thanks to you acting like a complete alcoholic at dinner." Her distressed eyes find mine. I frown, not completely sure what they're talking about.

"And I'm supposed to give a shit, why?" Will shakes his head, looking away from her. I can tell she's trying to make it look like it's not bothering her. 

"Why wouldn't you? You know better than anyone how bad she can get. Do you want her to relapse and take a million steps back?"

"She's not my problem." Alec scoots closer to Courtney and I almost wrap my hands around his neck. I clear my throat, making sure he knows I'm still here and I'm still monitoring him.

"Courtney.." Lana speaks up from an uncomfortable family meeting with pity in her eyes. I search her face up and down, looking for even the smallest twitch of discomfort.

"No. I don't need to help her. I don't have any obligation to and I don't know why everyone thinks I do. If she needs me, then that's her problem to deal with."

I begin to get frustrated as they talk. Do they not understand the situation she was put into?

"You're just as bad as she was." The whole room is put on edge. I take a step closer, knowing that Will just lit a fuse. Courtney's eyes widen and her body stiffens. Claire grasps Wills forearm.

"What did you just say?"

"I said that you're just as bad as she was. The only difference is that she actually had a good enough heart to change. You're being a disappointment of a daughter that holds a grudge against anyone that looks at you wrong." Courtney shifts in her seat, gripping the edge of the couch.

"Get out." Her eyes begin to get glossy with tears, and I can tell she's about to explode.

She stands up and that's when I rush over to hold her back. "Get out!" They all look startled as they slowly move, taking their suitcases with them. When the door shuts, she finally slumps against my arms.

She turns around, grabbing a fistful of my shirt as she cries against my chest.

"They don't.. they don't know how.."

"I know, Sunshine." I pull her close to me, wanting to protect her from everything that hurts.

But this is much bigger than I am.