Ink | Sabriel, Adamandriel, Michifer, Destiel

Chapter 30

Thank you for 3k reads! You guys are amazing!
But I also have some news, I'll probably be publishing one or twice a week. I've just realized that I publish chapters very fast and have been putting plenty of pressure on myself to do this. I've been feeling that I rush and push myself to publish each chapter just to please my audience. But I hope that you guys will accept my new decision.

And if you can't, you can message me and I can personally tell you to fuck off.
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With a smile that could fool his closest friends, Dean thought that it could even fool fate. But it didn't fool Castiel. He had noticed how strange Dean was acting. You could feel from spending almost everyday together. Being soulmates probably also helped, but that wasn't the point. Dean wasn't acting normal, and Castiel was going to get to the bottom of it.

The way he had found out was just by staring at Dean. Yes, it probably sounded more romantic in his head. But when he thought no one was looking, Dean's expression was gaunt. Dark bags had started to form under his eyes, and a large frown had lodged itself deep into his face.

Castiel was drowning in concern and curiosity to find out was bothering him. He had recently found out about his mother's sudden death and the sharp turn the family took afterwards. He had been surprised to learn that they were still healing from it, even if it had happened years ago. All he wanted to do was help Dean. That was what a good boyfriend did. Castiel was going to be good and help Dean, it was his job. He didn't want Dean to regret ever going out with him.

He didn't want to disappoint Dean.

....

Dean's stomach churned violently. How had he found out? He had kept it so well hidden. He had kept his problems well hidden from everyone in his life. He had done it for years, and he would do it for years to come. Dean was a good liar, even if it wasn't the best trait to have, it was useful.

Especially if he was going through such changes in his life.

But Dean didn't know what he had felt when Castiel had come to him with plenty of questions and concerns. He knew that anyone would laugh if he told him the closest word he had felt. It was ridiculous.
Who would even feel insulted?

Insulted.

He had felt insulted that somehow the skill that he had relied on so much was suddenly stripped away by fate. The only reason that Castiel could have found out was being his soulmate. His family had lived with him his whole life and they couldn't even begin to imagine what he was feeling. Yes, they had their own feelings to worry about. But still. It angered him. Could Dean not keep secrets anymore?

He sighed, exasperated by his own new, stupid concerns. Feeling insulted was just plain stupid. It made him feel dumb. Like he could get set off by just anything. Castiel would most likely get hurt or just think less of him if he told him.

So Dean would just lie.

....

"You're obviously lying to me!"

Dean stepped back from Castiel's angry expression. He had lied to him, saying that finals were just stressing him out, but Castiel had seen through the lie. What he couldn't understand was how he had. It was such an intricate lie. It was something that was easy to believe, so how was Castiel seeing through every lie that Dean was throwing at him?

"You- you just wouldn't understand! I don't want to hurt you."

"What can you hurt me with? I already know that you were disappointed with me when we first met!"

"That's not entirely tru-" Dean cut in.

"You can't deny it! Do you think I wasn't looking at your face? Because you didn't look very happy! Now tell me what's wrong!" Castiel retorted, silencing Dean.

"You'll think less of me." He quietly said, but was by silenced yet again Castiel's harsh glare.

Dean stood in silence, trying to find the right words to say. For once, he regretted coming to tutoring. But not coming in the first place would've hurt and confused Castiel. He sighed. Finding the easiest way to explain to Castiel was impossible. The only way he could tell him would only hurt him.

And in all irony, Dean didn't want to disappoint Castiel.

He hated that feeling. You felt it when things didn't go the way you expected, or hoped, dreamed even. It was a crushing feeling. It was a feeling that clawed and gnashed through your mind, destroying everything in its path. Dean didn't want to do that to Castiel. But he couldn't lie.

Fate wouldn't let him.

The insulted feeling rumbled in the pit of his stomach. He couldn't even protect Castiel from the truth. To shield him away from those hurtful words. It angered him.
Why was everything so damn complicated? Why couldn't they just have a nice, sweet, simple relationship? Why was life making it so difficult? Fate was insulting Dean. It was stripping him of his normal life. Of his environment. Of his personality. Of who he was.

And he couldn't even shield Castiel away from it.

When Dean had finally looked up at Castiel, rage coursed through his eyes. He looked livid, and Castiel didn't know why. He had only told Dean how he had felt. But when Dean had lied so blatantly to his face, it had angered him. It had made him angry that Dean would lie to him without a single thought, but with full eye contact. And it was such a good lie, but it couldn't be the truth. Castiel knew about his life, and he had seen in his eyes that it wasn't the truth.

Dean's eyes had betrayed him.
They showed what he was feeling. When you looked into his eyes you could read Dean like a book. And he was an interesting book. A tragic story. A heartbreaking, intricate journey. And Castiel was staring straight into their depth, their angry depths.

He was lost. Only finding himself when Dean finally broke eye contact, giving into Castiel's demands. The anger still burned brightly in his eyes, but when he finally spoke, his voice sounded soft, sincere, even sad. Castiel took in his words, listening to every detail, but pausing when he heard a low sob.

He didn't know what to do when he heard Dean's voice cracking and sobs interrupting his words.

"She was supposed to stay with us forever. Why did she have to go?"

Castiel stared at him in shock, causing Dean to look away in shame. Finally, after lengthy silence that left them both deep in thought--Dean regretting is decisions, and Castiel still in a state of shock--Castiel hugged Dean.

Dean's eyes widened for a split second before he accepted the embrace, and hugged back fiercely, letting fresh tears to spring up.

The two teens weren't thinking in the future right now. All that mattered right now, was each other.

Dean wasn't completely healed, and he wouldn't be for years to come, but with Castiel's help, he knew that day would come.

Castiel was healing Dean.