Out of the Shadows ✔️ [Completed] [Book One]

Chapter 61

The smell of bacon draws me out of a restless sleep. I slowly open my eyes to test how painful the hangover is going to be. To my elation, I don't feel that bad.

I open the curtains in my old room and let the winter sunshine wash over me. Although the room has been decorated since I moved out, it still brings back memories of the person I was when I first moved to London.

I sit back on the bed and can't help but feel a little proud of the woman I am today. Somehow I'm still going and still holding it together.

I shudder at the memory of the broken girl, who used to cry herself to sleep every night. Although I'm in this eternal darkness without Daniel, I will always be grateful that I met him. He has made me a stronger and more confident person. I will forever be grateful to him for that.

I can't even begin to process what happened last night. Seeing Daniel and Ed together for the first, and hopefully last time, has blown my mind. Watching Daniel defend and protect me made my heart beat again for the first time in weeks.

The sensation takes my breath away and I have to stifle a whimper when I relive the way he held me. The feel of being in his arms again. Oh God, why does this have to be so difficult?

My reaction to his failure to explain himself has made me realise with complete vindication, that I have to know why. To enable me to move on, I need closure. I need him to tell me.

The truth will set me free.

But do I want to be free? Do I want to put him behind me? I don't know what I want from him, but I just need to be able to understand why our forever was torn away from me. He might not want me back, he might just feel a sense of obligation to explain himself. This may just be to ease his conscience for what he has done. Whatever the outcome, I have to know.

My phone vibrates on the bedside table and I immediately reach for it. There is a message from Charlie.

I'm sorry I fucked it up again, I really am. But I just wanted you to see him for what he really is. Do you want me to get the earlier flight or shall I stay in London?

I don't know how many times I need to tell him the same thing. How could I make it any clearer?

I'm sorry too. But I meant what I said. If you can't be my friend, then I can't be in your life at the moment. You made it clear that you're not willing to be just my friend, so I think we both need some time and then we can talk once things have settled down.

I'll take that as a yes to the earlier flight then. Merry Christmas Lizzie.

Merry Christmas Charlie.

I throw my phone down in frustration just as the door knocks. Caroline pops her head round the door like she is checking to see what emotional state I'm in before she enters. I must look OK because I see a relieved expression spread over her face. She walks into the room with a cup of tea, which I gratefully take from her.

"Morning. Thanks for this, just what the doctor ordered." I smile at her and she sits down next to me.

"How you feeling?"

"I'm OK. Honestly, I am." I see the unconvinced look she has on her face. "I will be. Is that bacon I can smell?" I ask to change the subject.

"Yeah. Jeremy is cooking the full works. You ready to come out?"

"Yeah. Just let me use the bathroom."

They are both sitting at the dining table when I come out of the bathroom and Jeremy puts his phone down on my approach. They share a look between each other, so I know that I have been the topic of conversation. I sit down in front of my English breakfast and realise I'm starving.