Out of the Shadows ✔️ [Completed] [Book One]

Chapter 10

When I don't respond, he continues as I try to focus on what he is saying to me. "I want to know everything about you Lizzie. I can sense that there are things you hold back when you mention your ex-husband and I want you to know that you can trust me. I want us to be able to be honest about our pasts and I promise that I will tell you everything about me." Panic rises in my chest and I can feel bile burning the back of my throat. Suddenly the room closes in and I feel as though I can't breathe. I pull my hand back and clumsily stand up, knowing that I can never tell Daniel what happened in my past. Daniel stands up too; his eyes have grown large in shock at my reaction. I bolt towards the door without saying a word, but Daniel is quicker than me and blocks my exit.

I feel trapped and panic wells up in my chest. Daniel can see the anxiety on my face and his stance softens. He holds both of his palms up towards me trying to calm me down. "Please don't leave like this. I'm sorry if I have said too much. Please sit down. Talk to me." Daniel looks shaken and gestures for me to sit down, but thankfully doesn't touch me.

My shoulders relax and I let out a huge sigh. When Daniel sees that I'm about to sit down, he takes his seat too. He runs his fingers through his hair, clearly not sure how to deal with the situation. I fight back the tears that threaten to fall and concentrate on my breathing the way I've been taught to do until I'm back in control. It takes every ounce of my energy, but somehow I manage it. My eyes stay fixed on the base of my champagne flute as I move my fingers around it. Daniel sits in silence patiently waiting for me to speak.

"Daniel, I'm sorry but I can't do this. I thought maybe I could, but I can't. Please don't take this the wrong the way, I really like you." My voice is shaky, so I take a deep breath. "I'm what you would call damaged goods and in all honesty I don't think I will ever be ready to move on and put myself in a position where I could get hurt again. You don't need this kind of complication; you could have anyone you wanted." The end is little above a whisper and I glance up at him. His gaze becomes gentle when we make eye contact and he shakes his head slowly. I'm glad that he doesn't reach out to touch me, because I know that if he touched me now I would lose all my resolve and would want to just melt into his arms.

We sit in silence for a few seconds. "I'm not giving up on this. Whatever it is, whatever it could be. No way, I don't want anyone else. We are both damaged goods Lizzie. We have been betrayed by the people we thought loved us the most. But there is something between us and I know you feel it too. Us meeting was fate, I'm sure of it. I would bet my life on it." Daniel looks deeply into my eyes when he speaks. "All I ask is that you go on one proper date with me, just one. If you still feel the same after that, then I will not pursue you anymore and we can just be friends." Daniel reaches over hesitantly and takes both my hands in his and lowers his head, so that I make eye contact with him. "Please. I know I can make you happy and you just being here makes me happier than I've ever been." This time I do not drop my gaze and look straight into his piercing blue eyes. I'm baffled about what to do, but my lips betray me.

"OK."

The waitress enters the room breaking our connection. Daniel pays the bill without even looking at it and I'm too shocked to argue about paying. We head back towards the lift. As we descend to the lobby, we are completely alone. I can almost hear the electricity crackle between us and I feel like gravity is trying to pull us together. I don't move an inch because I don't trust myself to stop if he kisses me now. I glance down and see that Daniel is opening and closing his hands by his sides persistently and I wonder what he is thinking. Out the corner of my eye I see Daniel move and I hold my breath anticipating the feel of his lips on mine. But just as he steps closer towards me the lift doors ping and open, letting in fresh air and facing several people waiting for the lift. I'm disappointed but relieved in equal measure, which confuses me even more.

When we get into Daniel's car he turns to me. "I think we've been spotted." He confesses. "Bastards." He mutters mainly to himself.

"Please don't worry about it." I hesitate unsure whether to continue, but I decide to be honest. "I had a look at some of the comments about that article from this morning." I try and keep my voice light hearted, but I see Daniel's hands tense around the steering wheel and his jaw tightens while he manoeuvres out of the parking space. I immediately regret bringing it up.

"Really?" He asks before he looks at me. "Try not to look at too much online Lizzie; it all gets a bit crazy. Like I said, I love my fans, but some of them can be a bit over the top. Also, some people just get a kick out of saying awful and hurtful things. I try and avoid the whole social media thing as much as possible." I nod and look down at my hands, but want him to understand why I needed to look.

"It's just that a few days ago it was a part of my routine, having a look at the gossip columns and laughing at the crazy comments. But in all honesty I didn't find them all that funny when they were about me and someone I know." I'm indecisive about whether to tell him what I read, but decide to continue. "The general consensus is that I'm too ordinary to be with you and that I'm not good enough. I can't argue with that." I laugh and make it a joke, but I'm serious about what I'm saying. Daniel instantly turns towards me with fire in his eyes.

"Don't be ridiculous Lizzie, look at you. If anything, I don't deserve to be with you. I'm in awe of you. It's only because I'm in the spotlight and people think they know me because they saw a movie or watched an interview. I have to admit the constant judgment is the worst part of my job. But I don't want you to ever feel like that. OK?" I smile reassuringly at him wanting the conversation to be over.

"OK." I lie.

The rest of the journey is in comfortable silence and all too soon we're outside my flat.

"I want us to take things slowly, as slowly as you need. I don't want you to regret a thing." With that Daniel is out of the car walking round and opening my door. He takes my hand and escorts me to my front door.

"Do you want to come in for coffee?" I find myself asking, knowing that I want more than just coffee.

"No Lizzie." He smiles. "I'm under orders as Prince Charming to get Cinderella home by a reasonable hour. I meant what I said about taking things slowly." I laugh as he bows in front of me, takes my hand and gently kisses it as he looks back up into my eyes. It's the most intimate gesture and has me hot in all the right places. "Goodnight beautiful." He shouts as he bounds down the steps away from me.

"Goodnight." I shout back when he reaches his car.

I walk into my flat and before I know it tears unexpectedly overwhelm me, taking my breath away. I curl up on my bed and have no other choice than to let it all out. I struggle to comprehend what has happened tonight and this unwanted and alien feeling I have in my chest. I haven't really cried about anything for such a long time. I know that this between Daniel and I cannot last. I cannot be the person he wants and needs me to be. I'm unable of moving on because of what happened and my heart has been so badly damaged; it couldn't physically take anymore hurt.

How I feel for Daniel already terrifies me, the intensity of it hits me like a wave each time I look at him, or even think about him. If this is what it is like now, how will I feel in a few weeks when he is bored with ordinary, damaged Lizzie Cooper and has moved onto some Hollywood starlet who is much better suited to him and without the baggage?

I know I don't deserve to be happy. I don't deserve him. If I let it get out of hand, he will leave me eventually. I know that I'm not strong enough to start again, especially after him. The feeling of my imaginary loss is heart wrenching and makes me feel physically sick. I think about him saying that he wants to know everything about me and I know with complete vindication that he can never find out about my past. Daniel would see me differently and I don't want to ever change the way he looks at me, even if it means that we cannot be together.

I make up my mind that this has to stop while I still have the ability to end it. Once he has kissed me properly I don't think I would be able to control how I feel. I lie in the dark as the tears run slowly and silently down my cheeks and weep for the future I might have had if I was anybody but me.

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