Out of the Shadows ✔️ [Completed] [Book One]

Chapter 12

The next day is a blur because we're so busy and I will not give myself the opportunity to think. I arrange to meet the girls for dinner straight from work. Daniel and I have exchanged a few text messages today, but only about how our days are going. Daniel hasn't mentioned meeting up again before he goes to New York and I'm relieved that he seems to have let it go.

Caroline and Sarah are already at our table by the time I arrive and I'm gratefully handed a very large glass of wine immediately.

"So ladies, what's new with you both?" I enquire making sure I get in there first to deflect the topic from me for a while. I'm clearly rumbled though as Sarah laughs.

"No chance Lizzie, we're starting with you." I take a deep breath to prepare myself, but luckily the waiter arrives to take our order. Unfortunately, it's clear that they are not letting it go once he leaves. I drink my wine to buy myself some time and get my thoughts in order before I begin.

"There isn't really anything to tell. I don't want to talk about it and have you both analyse me. It's my decision and I won't change my mind." I know my stance won't work with Caroline and Sarah, they know me better than anyone. Caroline rubs my arm softly.

"You will regret this Lizzie. I honestly believe that he is your second chance and all you have to do to take it is stop looking back and let go of the past." Caroline looks me straight in the eye as she talks.

"I can't." I respond and it's no more than a whisper.

"You can." Sarah adds calmly. "You just don't think you deserve this because of what happened, you don't think you deserve him. It's ridiculous if you ask me. You're gorgeous inside and out and he clearly wants to give this a go. I think you should see him before he leaves on Thursday. Why don't you try being upfront about Ed?"

My eyes flash up immediately to meet her stare. "No way, it will change how he sees me. I would never want to change the way he looks at me. I want you to promise that neither of you will tell him anything either, OK?" I glare at them both and they both nod. "Things will go back to the way they were and Daniel will soon get bored and forget about me." With my final comment the food arrives and I change the subject to Sarah and Andy. She takes the hint and we don't mention Daniel again for the rest of the evening.

I arrive home to a stunning bunch of white roses on the door step. I pick them up and breathe in their scent, open the note and step into my flat. 'Missing you. D x' is all the note says, but it's all it takes to make my stomach do somersaults. Once they are in water, I can truly appreciate how beautiful they are. I stare at them for what seems an eternity wondering if I'm doing to right thing. I'm protecting myself from the pain I remind myself – it's the right thing to do.

Later I lie in bed wide awake and I cannot stop myself from texting him.

They're beautiful. Thank you. L xxx

My phone beeps in response a few minutes later.

They are pale in comparison to you. D x

I'm mystified by the wave of emotion that hits me, but also laugh at his cheesy line. I have had exactly one serious boyfriend my whole life, who turned out to be my cheating husband, so I have never felt like this before. Both myself and Ed were kids when we got together, so I've never met anyone as an adult. I can't even properly describe it – this feeling consumes and terrifies me in equal measure. It feels like I have lived all of my life in black and white and now the full spectrum of colour invades my senses. My heart cannot take it; I need it to stop so I can return to my simple, dark and uncomplicated world.

The next morning is grey and foreboding and although the weather matches my mood perfectly, I still need to run. I'm restless and need to clear my head. Even running for an hour does nothing to improve my mood. I know that today is my last chance with Daniel, but I cannot allow myself to see him. I keep my head down at work and everyone seems to sense the awful mood I'm in because no one bothers me. When I leave work I receive a text from Daniel.