Out of the Shadows ✔️ [Completed] [Book One]

Chapter 63

We stare at each other in silence for what seems like an an eternity, but in reality is probably only a few seconds. I study his beautiful face and see the deep purple marks under his eyes. He looks exhausted.

My eyes wander to his newly stitched cut. Although the doctor has done an amazing job, the area around it is swollen and an angry shade of red. I want so badly to kiss every millimetre of it and then to thank him properly for what he did for me last night.

My eyes instinctively dart to his perfect, skilled lips and I blush at the memory of them on me.

Gentle kisses down the side of my neck and across my shoulder, while his expert hands slide up my waist. I feel my knees begin to buckle...

I blink sharply and pick up my glass of champagne to bring me back to the present. He's a bastard remember, I tell myself but not with too much conviction.

I hope he doesn't realise that my thoughts have been in the gutter when I decide to break the silence.

"How does it feel?" I can hear the slight tremble in my voice.

"How does what feel?" He looks confused, but then sees me looking at the cut. "Oh, sorry. It's fine. Doc said it may scar, but who cares." He shrugs.

"I'm sorry." I say again, guiltily.

"Don't you dare be sorry. There is nothing for you to be sorry for. I should have done that months ago. I told you before, getting even with him was worth any price. So this.." he points at his eyebrow. "...is nothing."

The silence resumes and I can't  bare it anymore. Not communicating is what has got us here.

"Why am I here Daniel? Why the big conspiracy?" I look down at my glass when I speak because I'm a little frightened of the answer.

"Because I didn't think you would agree to see me, especially after last night. I'm sorry that I just left." His voice sounds thick with emotion.

"You had somewhere to be." I try to make out it was no big deal, but I know I sound false.

"That wasn't the only reason though." He pauses and I let him collect his thoughts. "I don't think why I did what I did has a justifiable explanation. But when we got back from Dubai, I thought I could make you understand. Then I found you in that club and you slapped me. The look in your eyes when you did it, I saw right then everything I had done to you laid bare and I fucking hated myself. I realised that it was better if you just forgot about me." 

His eyes fill with tears, but I just sit back in my chair. I don't want to interrupt him when he seems so lost in his own mind. He lets out a little laugh, but there is no humour in his expression.

"You see Lizzie, I always say the wrong thing to you. My mouth isn't connected to my brain, or my heart at times. Remember the last time we were in this room?" His eyes glance sadly around.

"Yes, of course I do." I don't take my eyes off him.

"I almost lost you that night. Then in L.A I did the same fucking thing... and well, in Dubai I hit an all time low."

"What are you saying Daniel?"

"That I always fuck things up with you. Give me a script and I can convince the whole world that I believe and feel every word I say. Put me in front of an audience and I can answer any question with ease and know the right thing to say. I can speak to anyone else about how I feel pretty clearly. But... put me in front of you and I'm just incapable of explaining myself."

"I don't understand... it's just me." I say quietly.

"Exactly! You're the one person who I need to try to make see that what I did was the single, biggest mistake of my life. I know I only have one chance to try to get you to see things from my shitty perspective and I just can't seem to make my brain form the right words. Once I got back here last night I couldn't sleep, I was resigned to just give you up. Seeing you with Charlie.-"