Raindrops | GirlXGirl

» Forty-First Need

{'Chaos is an angel who fell in love with a demon.'}

"I am very disappointed..."

I closed my eyes tight and leaned my head against the car window as Khloe spoke out finally after an undivided silence. I didn't say anything... I was just gobbling all the pain I was feeling right now even if I didn't want to. I couldn't help it for the reason that it was too strong and I think it would not fade away no matter how. 

Just hearing those cruel words from Quinn caused me to feel so vulnerable and broken. It was too intense that all of my being shattered. I didn't want to believe all of this but she slapped it in my face, breaking what we had built together.

How could she do this to me? How could she keep all of those lies whenever she touches me? How could she say she loves me back if my touch makes her sick?

Why she was crying? Was it guilt or she just couldn't take the empty feeling of not being able to feel? It wasn't my fault that she could not sense anything physically but why was she blaming me? Why did she have to say that I was the one who kept on reminding her that she was incapable of something? Was it my fault that she was like that or she was just selfish for throwing those unreasonable things at me?

Who gives the fuck about your feelings?

I grimaced as her words that kept on playing inside my head like an unstoppable whirlwind. I didn't know what to believe anymore. I tried to search for an answer on why she would do this to me but I couldn't find anything. Everything was okay before she'd left but what did this forsaken place do to her that made her so different? 

It was all sudden and my head couldn't keep up, even my heart couldn't stay calm about this as the pain kept on sinking in. Khloe told me once that there was underneath Quinn's sweet personality and I was wondering if this was exactly it. Despite everything, I couldn't let go. I didn't want to let go of her even if she literally pushed me away. Obviously, she didn't want everyone's sympathy and I understood that she would do anything to keep her secret but I was her freaking girlfriend and it really hurts me that she didn't trust me all along.

"Aren't you going to explain yourself why did you call her a freak?!" I heard Khloe uttered feverishly.

I opened my eyes heavily, realizing that she'd already pulled the car on the side of the road. Evidently, this bimbo desired to know what really happened between me and her sister. I just hoped that she was really a reliable person who doesn't judge anything just from hearing one side of the story. I didn't know what Quinn had said to her but I was certain that she was the one who'd sent Khloe to pick me up.

I gently wiped the tears on my cheeks  and then turned to look at her. Worry was all over her feature as she stared back at me, confused and wondering what had really occurred. Instead of answering her question, I asked her, "Do you trust me, Khloe? Did you trust me with her?"

She frowned, pulling her eyebrows together. "If I don't trust you then I wouldn't allow you to be close with my sister even an inch. You wouldn't be here finding the truth and hurting because of it."

"Why? Why do you trust me this much?"

She smiled softly and stared out the window as if she was reminiscing something. "You probably don't remember it but you did these impossible things to her. At first, I still didn't quite understand it but as I grew up, I slowly realized that you brought change to her life without even realizing it. After the accident——after her parents died, we were both in there to support her. She was heartbroken. She couldn't even walk on her feet and speak for herself. Quinn was just there sitting in her wheelchair like a doll that wouldn't even move. As her sister, it is natural for me to help her get through her grief. But you... you are her hope. You are the reason for her first smile, her first step, and the reason why she'd moved on. That's why it was painful for her that you didn't even remember. Everything you've shared ten years ago is very significant to her because you were the one who urged her to clutch in hope despite her condition."