She's Rich, He's Richer

Chapter 5

She's Rich, He's Richer : Chapter 5 
~When Sweet Dreams Are Over... 

*****

November 28, 20**. The day I will never forget. 

The surprises he made for me, the kilig vibes I have felt. All those sweet words worth hearing over and over again, though it really hurts now remembering those. 

It's so unbelievable how fast years gone by. How things happened roughly. How my heart was broken three years ago. 

He was exactly what I want. The perfect face, the not-so-perfect attitude, the responsible feels, everything even his flaws, I loved them all.

Too bad, maybe we're really meant to fall apart. 

I'm the one who have mistaken. I pressured him, I demand too much time from him. I'm the one at fault. I'm the one who broke up with him. I refused. My pride and ego took my whole being that time and I regretted it. 

Akala ko, I need to run away just to see if he will run after me. So I did. 

"Micooooo!"

"Kane, I'm busy. I'll get back to you."

"Pero nag promise ka na pupunta tayo s----"

"I'm sorry. I have lots of tasks to do. May be next time. You can wait right?"

"FINE! Ako naman lagi ang naga-adjust e. Ako lang naman ang nag-eeffort dito. Lagi ka kasing busy. If you really love me, you'll find time! I hate you."

"Okay fine. I'll finish this one tomorrow. Tara na. If that's what you want."

"Wag na! I'll go by myself. Idate mo nalang yang paper works mo!"

I was so childish and immature and I hate myself for that, I really do. 

"I'm sorry Kane."

"No Mico, I think the school needs you more than I do. Let's just break up. You see, pag nagbreak na tayo, you can have all the time for your works. I can't demand time from you, wala na akong karapatan. Nakakasawa na din kung ganitong away lang tayo ng away. It's better if we're not together. It's just a highschool love, magbebreak din tayo kung hindi man ngayon, sooner. Bihira lang ang forever talaga kung nagsimula sa highschool. Parehas lang tayong nahihirapan."

Mark the bitterness from all those words.

"No Kane, when I love, I love. I'm trying to understand you and I already do. You need time from me. I'm sorry kung hindi ko naibigay sa'yo yun the moment you asked for it. I'm trying my best here. Just please give me a chance to prove how much I can sacrifice for you."

"I'm sorry pero nahihirapan lang ako. Ang hirap kaya sumunod ng sumunod sa kung saan ka pumunta. Ang hirap magpapansin. Wala, nakakasawa" 

"I don't know what I meant to you, I don't know what you feel for, I don't know where to stand in this relationship, all I know is I love you Kane." 

"No more sweet words for me Mico. I'm tired. Good night. Umuwi ka na." 

"Please don't give up on me."

"I'm not giving up on you, I'm letting you free."

Crap. I hate acting like I don't care when in fact I'm hurt and in full pain when I said those crappy words. 

"Do you really loved me? Ang dali naman para sa'yo para mag let go." he laughed 

"I'm tired of fighting for your attention."

"Tell me, straight into my eyes how you exactly feel for me right now."

"I regret everything. I feel stupid for loving you. I feel happy that it will all be over soon. You want me to be happy? Just stay... stay away from me."

"If that's what makes you happy." 

"Thank you."

"Don;t expect me to say 'no problem'."

After that he left.

That night was full of lies and heartaches. 

Nagsisisi ako. Sinabi ko sa sarili ko na kapag kinausap niya ako, babalik ako sa kanya even if he didn't asked for it. 

Pero wala. Parang wala lang sa kanya. He even ignored me. I tried to  approach him, I did but it was all useless. Iniwasan niya ako. Nakakapagod na maghabol, when I stopped chasing him all the chances are all gone too. 

Nakakainis, magsasabi ako ng mga bagay na hindi ko naman pala kayang panindigan. Words cannot be taken back that easily. The damage was done. A really big damage. 

Hanggang nag graduation na, walang pansinan. Parang walang nangyari. Ang cold niya sa akin.

Physical pain really was no match to emotional pain. 

It is something na hindi magagamot, the more you want to forget, the more you remember everything.

Like how I'm remembering it all now. 

After the graduation day, I told myself, maybe it was really the end for us. 

That I am meant to meet him but not meant to stay with him 

It's just a highschool love....

A first love that never meant to last.