She Gets What She Wants [Watty's 2016-2018]

Chapter 33

A/N This is dedicated to all of you who have stuck around this far. Thanks for waiting<3

Yes.

No!

Yes!

Why is this so hard?

Any girl would be stupid to say no to the guy she's been crushing on. Yet, here I am hesitating like a dumbass.

And no this isn't the part in the story where someone comes barging in to stop me from making a decision, or prolonging my response.

This is the part where I realize that I'm living in some type of fantasy. This is all too good to be true.

The reality is that Jordan has never looked at me the way I've looked at him all this time.

I don't need him to do something worse to come to my senses. I refuse to be another heartbroken girl whose dreams have to be crushed by the boy she liked to understand that it was never a true fit. I can walk away from this, knowing that this really was just a crush and never meant to be more.

Nice Jasmine, it only took you like 100 years to figure that out.

Jordan's eyes sparkle, as always. But this time when I really look at them, the effect is no longer as heart melting.

Well you move on quickly.

He's a good guy, there's no doubt about that. He might talk way too much about things I don't understand, but he's never intentionally hurt me.

It's not his fault he never noticed me before.

And it's not my fault either.

"No, Jordan."

He's confused, I can tell.

In front of him stands a girl who he must guess is truly insane.

You can't deny you're not Jasmine. The poor boy got led on.

I kissed him like crazy to just deny him so abruptly.

I put some space between us.

"I know it doesn't make sense, but I don't think us together makes any more sense if that makes...sense?"

He slowly lowers the hand holding the now sad looking mistletoe.

Way to ruin a moment of romance.

"I thought you liked me?"

"I do. You're such a cool guy you are. But...this is all too fast and that's my fault. I shouldn't have kissed you like that at the party. It was so wrong of me to- "

"I liked it Jasmine," he stops me from babbling and to my surprise raises his hand to hold my chin.

Oh.

"Uh what?"

"I kissed you back didn't I?"

Shit, valid point.

But that doesn't matter.

"Yah..."

Yah, and now it's over. So why is my heart pounding? Why do I feel so guilty?

"I want this now. I've never had someone come up to me and do something like that. It was so cool," his arms lower to hold the sides of my shoulders.

Walk away. Do it now.

"Jordan I can't."

"Did I do something to make you feel – "

"No!" That comes out louder than I intended, so I cover my mouth and lower my voice.

This is so not the right place to be doing this, but at the same time where else would we do this.

"I just I don't know I feel like I'm not as committed to this as I thought I would be."

He doesn't argue. And I think my next move should be to leave the house as quietly as possible. But Jordan wraps his arms around me. Maybe in effort to comfort me, or maybe it's more for his own consolation.

I keep my own arms awkwardly at my sides. Holding him would only create a mess.

"Okay...Jasmine." He's aware too that calling me "baby" is also not so appropriate.

His head lays on mine for about a good two minutes that are eternal. Eventually he lets go, and it's the first time he doesn't appear so upbeat. Considering the circumstances, who would be?

"Um, I'm going to go home if that's okay?"

Staying would be too weird. We can't walk in and announce that we're officially not together. And we can't sit there acting like we're not officially yet, like we have been.

"I'll go tell the guys we're leaving," he walks around me and turns off the lights.

"You don't have to. I can get a ride. You should hang out with your friends before you leave."

He'll be in Arizona soon, so it's a good excuse for him to let me leave without going through a silence filled car ride home.

He considers what I've said.

"You sure?"

"Yah, go have fun. Tell Jade I had to go because her hot coco gave me the runs or something."

He laughs whole heartedly. His face back to its usual bright state. And even though I can't believe I said that, I wouldn't take it back.

"Okay, but wait for me so I can walk you out the door."

I nod.

I sneak out the door, as Jordan disappears to the living room that rumbles with noise and laughter.

Soon enough, Jordan is jogging over to me with my quickly forgotten gift.

He catches his breath and hands it over to me, but I shake my head. I shouldn't. As simple as a sweatshirt can appear, it's a girlfriend kind of gift.

"Jasmine take it, it's yours."

The box is placed in my freezing red hands.

"I shouldn't."

"Your secret Santa would be upset if you didn't," he praises.

I raise a playful eyebrow.

"I still want you to come watch me play. I think you'd have fun."

I give a tiny smile, and nod but don't agree to anything.

"Merry Christmas Jasmine."

"Merry Christmas Jordan."

A/N So today marks the first day of Autumn and it's always been my favorite season and I always thought I'd been born during Winter. Turns out I was born on the last days of Autumn, so I guess my love was meant to be:p