The Alpha's Runaway

Chapter 57: The Truth (Xavier's POV)

Driving, I peak over at my mate who cuddled up against the window is an adorable little ball- asleep. It's about 2 am- and we have about 25 hours to go, and I wasn't even a hint of tired. So I continued to drive. 

Her ex kissed her, and she came back to me?
Is this how it's meant to be?

If so- why cant she admit she's in love with me...

"I don't fully understand you- hell I don't understand anything about you. I try and speak and let you know exactly how I feel, but it's hard as hell. Even right now and you are asleep. I try and show you the good side of me- because if you see the monster I truly am you would decide to leave. And god dammit Ace, you have no fucking idea how much that will destroy me. But I mean honestly, is this how it's meant to be? I mean like, aren't we suppose to talk to the other while they are awake?

"Honestly, Ace, I have no fucking clue on what love is suppose to be like, and truth be told neither do you. I don't- I mean I can see why- how um- not how, why you um don't understand that even though you push I will continue to stay. I mean I get it, no one has proved you otherwise, hell you were gonna die to get away from it all, and everyone who was suppose to love you never did it right. I mean I get it, but dammit Alice, you are making me pay for his mistakes. I know you aren't trying to, but your doubts are selling you the fuck out.

"But I understand why, he made his decision or choice at your expense, and you had to sit back and fight just to lose. Cause god knows your a fighter, and you accept that you fought for someone with everything you had, for them to never- not once- to fight for you. So I mean I get it. I get why you have walls and not just because of him, but the reason you have nightmares. You try to pretend you're this big tough girl, and you are but you aren't at the same time.

"You're tough enough to try and deal with shit on your own, but what expense? You shed your own blood, to what? Be strong enough? To deal with these sad emotions? So you what? You cut and burn and scratch yourself- to numb it all out? How is that fair to you? Dammit Ace, you see yourself as a fucking rock, no not even- you see yourself as a pebble, fucking worthless. But you're not a fucking pebble, hell you're not even a diamond- because they have a price. You are like Mona Lisa, no the Starry Night, no dammit...

"You're like the universe, there so much to you no one will ever be able to fully see... dammit Ace. Why can't you see, you are everything to me. Even before I knew you were my mate, just your voice and how you stare at the sky, how you smile up as it rains, how you can read a book cover to cover in a day, how you speak to animals. Okay fine I stalked you. I watched you go to school, walk home, hang out with your friends. Because from the moment I saw you, I didn't give a shit about anybody else, hell at that moment I didn't even care if I had a mate.

"All I've ever seen was you. God that's fucking creepy and embarrassing to admit. But it's the fucking truth. I can't blame the mate bond for loving you, I loved you before you even set eyes on me. I just knew you were my mate when I kidnapped you. But I kidnapped you to give you a better chance, a new beginning, with no limit. From the beginning, the truth is Ace, I've loved you- before I even knew your name...

"And that's how I'm different, I wasn't attracted to your looks, but you look fucking fine as hell trust me. But it wasn't that, it was you- your strength, your personality, and the more I watched you, the more I fell. I'm a fucking stalker- I know, but I was hell bent on marrying you- before I even looked you in the eye. I never thought I'd fall in love, or that I had a mate. And you have no fucking idea how much I crave you, and your existence. God dammit Ace, you have no idea how much I am in love with you." I admitted as if she was awake, saying all the things she will never be awake to here me say.

"I love you, Grey eyes. No that's a lie... I'm in love with you, and not with the idea of love, or because you love me, but because truth be told- I've always wanted someone like you." She responded, "I don't sleep in car rides dummy, I told you this before."

I pulled the car over, and kissed her lips as if they were the only thing that can save me from damnation.