The Alpha's Runaway

Chapter 23: Day Two

I woke up with the Suns heat warming my body, but honestly that wasn't needed because I had two large arms wrapped around my waist, my face engulfed in Xavier's chest. And I've never felt more safe in my life, and that thought alone scarred me.

But last night I didn't have a nightmare, now that I think about it, whenever I sleep near Xavier I don't have nightmares. Why didn't I have nightmares?
"The house I was raised in wasn't horrible but enough to make me want to leave. My mom yelled mostly at me for varies reasons, mostly for the hell of it, making threats, having me contemplate whether I want to go home or not , I spent most of my time at school. My father screamed and yelled, he had a shorter temper than my mother. They blamed me for many different reasons, no matter how hard I tried, I was never good enough, and it sucked. When I was fifteen, I walked into my parents room with cuts running up my arm, they called me crazy, they didn't help. They always said my life was a miracle because I'm suppose to be dead, I always viewed it as a curse. My family made me feel pathetic, worthless even. Since I was nine I begged God to kill me, I started cutting when I was twelve, burning myself when I was fourteen, I couldn't stay there because for once in my life I needed to be -what my father always accused me of being- I needed to be selfish. I didn't run away, I left, and I left for me." I say, I pushed his sleeping body away. I got up and walked away, I walked to the front of the small lake, and I laid down and went back to sleep.

"-that's what I don't understand about you... I mean like Ace I'm not innocent, I've killed a fair share of people, but I am not a monster to my pack or to you." Xavier said breathlessly, he must've said more but I just woke up.
I looked up at him, towering over me, and he smiles- he is bipolar as hell.
"Hey come on, we have to get you home into some fresh clothes and then are going to the beach."
"Um, no thank you." I say, his smiles flattens.
"Why not?" He asks.
"Because I want to go back to the loft and sleep."
"Oh okay, we can do something later then?"
I didn't answer, I followed him the the motorcycle, once we got to the loft I went to my room and took a nice long shower, then I went to sleep in my bed.

*

I woke up in a cold sweat, the nightmare was the same, the same as the reality I once lived for as long as I could remember. I wanted to cry, it was dark out, I must've slept all day. I wept. I wept for the memories, and I wept for the fact I will never be safe from my own mind. I wept for what seemed like hours. And then I remembered my remedy for all the sadness, my remedy to all the madness. I ran to the shower and put the water as hot as I could get, I went to my duffle bag and fished out my stuffed Dog, I opened it to reveal cotton. Cotton and a blade. I stepped into the shower sitting down in the tub, I pressed the razor to my right hip and applied pressure, and I repeated the process until I could no longer feel the pain I felt inside, until I felt numb, blood oozed out of my new sounds, the old scars on my hips are raised.
I got out of the tub and turned off the water, I found a first aid kit and wrapped up my new self inflicted wounds.
I through on a pair of sweat pants and sock and a baggy shirt.

I left my room, I looked at the cable box in the loft's living room to reveal its 11:20 in the evening.
I am fucking starving, I knock on Xavier's door and get no answer, so I knock again, again the same results. So I opened the door and walked to his sleeping figure. Once again resisting the urge to run my fingers through his hair. I shook Xavier a little, and to my surprise he woke up, must've been the Sparks.
"Xavier I'm hungry." I mumble, he takes in my appearance, and I remember I'm not wearing a bra, shit!
"What do you want to eat?" He mumbles as he sits up and rubs his eyes.
"Chinese food?" I ask, he nods and gets up, we walk to the kitchen where I tell him my order while he's on the phone with the people.

30 min later.
The food arrives and he leaves the loft to get it, my hip is killing me.
"What movie do you want to watch?" He asks as he enters the loft with the food.
"A scary movie, duh." I say nonchalantly.
He pops in a movie, and we watch as we eat, the silence engulfs us.
He sniffs the air, that's pretty weird.
"Are you bleeding?" He asks
"No..." I say trying to act confused.
He puts his food down and looks at me, he comes closer and sniffs the air again.
I'm trying to act calm, but before I know it He's on top of me, looking for blood on my arms, then he looks at my stomach, he places his hands on my hips- and I wince. He looks at his hand, blood on it. Shit I bled through the bandaging! In one quick motion he pulls my pants down lower enough to see my hips. He rips off the bandaging carefully, revealing the cuts, the new ones and the one that formed scars.
"Shit..." He says, his eyes snap to mine "Ace." He breathes.

Fuck.