The Alpha's Runaway

Chapter 58: Little Things

"I call shower!" I shouted as I walked into the loft, being stuck in a car with a determined Alpha to only make the minimum amount of stops.
I ran to the master bedroom because Xavier's shower was a hell of a lot bigger.

After taking probably the longest shower of my life, I stood staring at my reflection in the full body mirror. Xavier's initials on my collar bone- looking like a tattoo, no one could say otherwise. My stretch marks and scars cover my body, burns and birthmarks aswell. To say you find beauty in my existance is a complete and utter lie, hell even I can't bear the thought of my own scars, there is no beauty in trying to die, no beauty in self-harming and self-loathing, and there is not even a bit of beauty in my fucked up existance. My whole life I couldn't be worth it, but I sure as hell was used and abused.

No one say anything more than an object to benifit themself, not Rob, not the man I consider a demon, not my parents with their facade about having a smart daughter, not my siblings with having a sister that can cook for them and have thier backs. My life was about what I can offer, what can be taken, not about the person.

My daughter has such long hair
So I chopped it all off
My sister can really cook
So I stopped cooking
I always borrow money from my sister
So I spent it- all of it
My daughter loves poetry
So I hid it from them

To my family it was more about the image I had to live up to. More about what other people could see. But why did I have to prove my worth my whole life? Why couldn't someone just accept me as me?

So no- there is no beauty in my shattered existance, how could there ever be?

"Ace," Xavier knocked on the door, "hurry up I'm making dinner."

My doubts will always sell me out- I destroy everything good so it can't destroy me.

I quickly dried off and put my pajamas on. And that was when the fire alarm starts to go off.

I ran out the bathroom, and say him fanning the alarm.

Dammit Xavier.

"I can't cook..." He awkwardly chuckles, shyly rubbing the back of his neck.

I looked past him and saw:
Burnt grilled cheeses.

No not the sandwich- he tried to grill the cheese and bread seperatly.

He left cheese without bread.
He literally tried to cook the cheese seperatly.

How the fuck?
What gave him this idea?
Fucking hell.

"Um- how about I make dinner and you... You just- stay out of the kitchen."

Disrespecting this beautiful kitchen.

"That seems like a good idea, I'm going to shower."
"And nap" I yelled as he was walking towards the master bedroom.
Putting his hand up with his thumb in the air signifing he got the message.

Two hours later
I made lomo saltado, which is just a popular Peruvian dish, so ghe peruvian version of stir fry, and french fries.

Xavier didn't nap, he sat there and watched me cook.

Serving us, we sat across from each other.

"So you enjoy watching me huh, Mr. Stalker." I laughed.
Xavier though seemed unphased, "yes, yes I do. It showed me how clumsy you are, you must've fell up the stairs on your porch like seven times. I mean like Ace, can you even gravity"
"Fucking fight me."
"And you argue with your dad a lot, then you end up digging your nails in your skin. Its like no matter how hard you try to explain nothing helps. He screams and grabs you and yells, and you look like you're about to break, and sometimes you do. You're monotone half the time due to your depression and he takes that as an attuidide, its just youre not okay and he wont take you seriously when you hint you need help. Those days- I wanted nothing more but to rip his heart out"
"Xavier-" I started.
"And you find safety in books, you escape reality with music or books or poetry. And you practically just hide in it, and those times it seems like you feel safer with your head buried between pages than you do in your own home. You were gonna leave anyways, thats why I took you. I needed to make sure you don't stop seeing the beauty in the little things. Like how your face lit up when a butterfly touched you or a lady bug in your short hair. I was slowly watching that fade away- and I couldn't bear the idea of allowing all the dark things to destroy you, you fought so hard. I couldnt let you lose."