Fill Me In

Chapter Thirty Five

"Austin?" I gasp, my hand going up and covering my mouth, "what... What are you doing here? How...?"

"I left on my last day." He explained, slowly walking towards me, "I needed to see you again Emily, and I made you a promise."

"I-I.... I don't know what to say." I reply, looking up at him, "you were just gone and you wanted me to never talk to you again and now your here?"

"You said you wanted to see me again." He replied, sadness clear in his face, "I just... You just said today that you-"

"I know I did Austin but I didn't think I would see you later that day! You went all the way across the country!" I defend, "I was going to be able to think about what I was gonna say to you."

"Well then talk to me!" He explained, wrapping his arms around my waist, "I'll tell you anything you want to know. Just please don't shut me out."

"Shut you out?" I say with a laugh, "your the one who shut me out! You shut everyone out! Do you know how worried I was about you?"

"I know baby I'm sorry!" He said quickly, "I missed you so much. Please just give me a chance. Can I please just clear the air? I know it's never going to be the same. Just please talk to me."

"Okay." I whisper, grabbing onto his hand and pulling him inside.

We walked towards the couch and I sat in a chair across from him, not really believing that he is here.

"What do you want to know?" He asked, rubbing his hands over his thighs.

"Everything." I say, letting out a laugh, "why? Why would you do that to a girl that was my best friend?"

"I'm sorry." He whispered, holding my face with one hand, "it wasn't my intention to do anything with her. Whatsoever. Okay? I'm love you. I'm in love with you Emily. Why can't you see that?"

"What can't I see that?" I ask defensively, "maybe because you cheated on me and shut me out! I shouldn't have even let you into my house! Why can't you see tha-"

He cut me off my grabbing my face and smashing his lips onto mine and I instantly melted into his body as his lips molded with mine.

"I'm fuckìng crazy about you." He whispered against my lips, "nothing is going to change that."

"Why did you do it?" I whisper, my forehead leaning against his.

"I-I... I'm sorry. But when she came onto me and kissed me I just couldn't stop. I was already out of my head and the second I realized what was really going on I swear baby girl I stopped and I left." He explained, his eyes not leaving mine for a second.

"Austin." I sighed then my eyes widened, "wait what?! What did yo I say baby?"

"that I left right away?" He said confused, "I was out of my head-"

"no!" I interrupt, my hands going up to his shoulders, "she kissed you first?"

He nodded instantly and gave me a confused look, "I thought you knew that?"

"No!" I say instantly, "the way you said it made it seem like you went onto her..."

"I mean I did go over to her house. Which was a complete mistake which I one hundred and ten percent regret. But I didn't think anything was going to happen. I just wanted to talk to someone who knew you like I did... I wanted to hear stories about you."

A small smile grew on my face a wrapped my arms around him, "promise me you won't ever do it again." I whisper, "I can't go through that pain ever again... I-I... I thought I was going to die."

"I won't baby." He quietly said, running his fingers through my hair, "I feel so- baby... What's that?"

"What?" I ask confused, my eyebrows furrowing together as he changed the subject.

"Your wrist." He said, grabbing onto my upper arm and I could feel my heart plummet.

"I-I... I'm sorry I." I rambled, my mind and heart racing, not knowing what to say.

"Did you do this to yourself?" He asked and I slowly nodded, his face instantly grew full of rage and sadness, "why?! Why would you ever do this?"

"Because everyone hates me." I explain weakly, "Lauren and Kylie and everyone else from school. I knew you and Kelsey hated me and everyone thinks I'm-"

"Don't." He whispered harshly, "I could never ever hate you. Your the love of my life. I need you. Forever. Who cares what anyone else thinks?"

"Me." I whimper, "I care when people think I'm stupid, and fat and ugly and a slut. Vanessa forced me to eat considering I haven't eaten in days!"

As soon as the words leave my mouth my eyes widen and I quickly cover my mouth with my hand.

I could see the heartbreak in his face. His eyes sparkled in a different way. Not from happiness, but this time because tears were filling up in them.

"Baby you can't do that to yourself." He whispered, pulling me into his lap and holding my face in his hands, "I'm such an idiot. I did all of this to you."

"I brought this upon my self." I explain.

He just shake his head and we sat in silence. Neither of satin a word considering we didn't know what to say.

It feels good to have him back but it feels almost foreign. I want to forgive him. I want to go back to the way we were. When we were in love and we didn't let anything hold us back.

But I don't know how to get back there. We both want to but it just feels different. I feel like I don't know him anymore.

"What do we do now?" I whisper, trying to fill the terrible silence.

"Can we go for a drive?" He suggests, "like we used to? I want to get out of here and get some air."

I nod and get off of his lap standing up and minutes later, after grabbing all of our things, we were heading out the door and we were inside his car.

"Where are we going?" I shyly asks and he shrugs.

"I'm not sure." He said, giving me a smile, "I think we should just drive around and see if we see anything right?"

I give him a nod before nervously saying, "what are we? Are we like... Still together?"

"How do you feel?" He asked, looking over at me quickly before putting his attention back towards the road.

"I don't know." I admit, "I love you Austin. I know I do but I feel weird. Like something is wrong. It feels weird that you were just gone and I found these things out and now your jest here and back all over again. I don't know... It's just all moving so quickly. I just can't keep up."

"Do you want to still be with me?"

"I... I think so."

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A/N: hey everyone :) just wanted to give you guys a quick thank you for all the votes and comments on this story. I love to see all of your guys reactions! So thank you thank you thank you! Love you guys :)

What do you think Austin and Emily should do? What would Austin have to do to get your trust back? 😏