It is another Tuesday morning at the Manhattan office of Mclain & Associates. The weekly meeting in the conference room is coming to an end. Mr. McLain, the boss, is listening to Wallace Holt, a cocky and ambitious young newcomer, who keeps pitching ideas and suggestions to him. Mr. McLain tries to brush him off by saying he will talk to him later. Wallace has been working for the firm for only two weeks and this is his first time attending the company meeting. He wants to impress Mr. McLain with his determination and zeal. Wallace heads to the men's room after the meeting. He sees Harvey and Beau, two senior colleagues, chatting inside. Wallace arrogantly tells them, "Gentlemen, I notice you two like to spend time in the men's room instead of working. That's one of the problems with this firm, too much goofing-off." Beau angrily replies, "Excuse me!" Harvey tells Beau, "I got this." Harvey says to Wallace, "You put on quite a show in the conference room, buddy! You had all kinds of ideas and suggestions!" Beau says sarcastically, "Wow, bravo. You're the best at sucking up and brown nosing I've ever seen." Wallace responds, "Hey, that's what it takes to make it to the top. I don't care what you two guys think." Harvey and Beau exchange amused glances and laugh. Wallace stops in his tracks, wondering what is so amusing. Harvey says to Wallace, "Hey I totally agree with you. My advice is you don't need to work too hard. Suck up to impress Mr. McLain, not necessary. Let me give you the lowdown on old man McLain. The man likes risk takers, those who are daring and not afraid to challenges to make a quick rise to the top. Usually, Beau and I like to take our time to get there. You, you're the man and you going to soon, reach that peak, might even be Beau and I, immediate boss (Beau nods in agreement)! All you have to do is show Mr. McLain who you really are, show your true courage and he will be very impressed." Beau says, "That's right, absolutely!" Harvey adds, "He can't stand spineless weasels who only know how to flatter and suck up." Wallace tells them, "I'm not a weasel and I'm for real! Now if you two jerks don't mind, I really need to use the restroom." Harvey says, "Okay, here's a challenge! Use one of those toilet stalls, sitting down with the stall door wide open. If Mister McLain sees you, he will notice your boldness and your eagerness, he will be really impressed and might make you the next and youngest Vee-pee. He definitely will admire you with a big raise, bonus, and higher position." Beau says, "What do you say, Mister future Vee-pee?" Wallace tells them, "Actually, I came in here to take a wiz, I might as well!" Wallace enters the first stall, wiping the seat with toilet paper, taking his pants down, sitting on the toilet with the stall door remaining open. He says, "See, I'm taking the dare and sitting on this toilet with the door wide open. Every one of you are going to get a load of me when I'm second in charge behind Mister McLain!" Beau tells him, "That's the spirit, Holt! You're really are number two, buddy!" Harvey giggled and said, "We'd love to stay, but we have work to do. See you later." Harvey and Beau left the men's room laughing. Wallace stayed on the toilet, feeling the stares of others who wanted to laugh and his legs beginning to numb, while keeping himself occupied by playing a game on his cell phone. Mr. McLain walked into the restroom and saw Wallace sitting on the toilet with the stall door wide open. Wallace smiles at him. McLain shook his head in disappointment and said to his young protégé, "Holt, if you want to succeed at McLain and Associates, I suggest you spend less time in the restroom. I don't tolerate any goofing off, especially in the men's lavatory. And close the door when you're using the restroom sitting, young man." Wallace felt embarrassed and closed the stall door. McLain walked away and entered another stall. Wallace realized he had been duped by Harvey and Beau. Later, Wallace confronted Harvey and Beau about the prank they had played on him. He said as he walked away, "Yeah, he saw me on the toilet with the stall door wide open. Ha-ha-ha, very funny! I don't appreciate being tricked!" Beau and Harvey laughed together.
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Tales of the Toilet #2
HumorThis is the second book in the series "Tales of the Toilet", a collection of fictional short stories set in bathrooms and toilets. It follows the same theme as the first book, but with new characters and situations.
