.Her imperfect partner.?

50. confessions

Eliana's pov

Do you know this girl?...

How how...i wanted to scream .out of all how she managed to ask me ..oh she was my junior i tried to brush it off. what are you doing..

I've been doing some research on you she said crossing her arms..why search when you can directly ask me ..i don't know if you would answer or not ..

"You can ask me anything "i don't know what's gonna happen i just sat in the bed no matter what ,i am going to answer her honestly may be letting it out is more refreshing than holding back ..i trust her I am sure.

Please don't judge me it's only one of my assumptions. go on when you were studying in college you slept with multiple people was that all just normal sex or anything special i mean you used the terms dominance, pleasing etc and last time we fucked i felt..like your aura is..

Yea you can say it directly i was a domme back in college you must be familiar with the word BDSM. She nodded.

I felt sudden suffocation in my chest what am I doing sharing my biggest secret to my contract wife do i trust her, can i trust her?..what if she think I am a monster what if she report me .worst of all what if she leaves me and never see me as same.all these thoughts clouded in my mind causing my breathe to rise i Panicked darkness filled my eyes. She started panicking to but held my hand .. just breathe ,take another..., easy Eliana it's okay you don't have to speak not until you're ready, it's ok I won't judge you..I love you...even though I was panicking i heard her correctly i think i lost my breathe for a second ,the fact that she accepted my past not fully but a huge part of me ..still saying that I know she had more questions and suspicions . for a second she too was dumbstruck she looked as if it slipped out of her mouth by mistake..she looked at me ..i...i.. don't...you don't have to say it back..her eyes were filled with tears i kissed her slowly wish I could tell her how much i want to hear that how much i want to hear it every morning, every night, everytime we make love..but I know i can't this is not real me she didn't know me if she knew the truth i am affraid all this would end.. it's meant to end right..my eyes were welled she was hugging me at the same time consoling me .. Kiara I no she placed her finger on my lips shutting me. I know you don't see me that way and honestly I didn't mean to say that I couldn't held back i thought you were vulnerable at that moment.I felt you trusted me and may be i was to caught up..i don't know she hid her face.

Hey ..hey..i removed her hands from her face You don't have to be you're brave it's not like i don't hate you infact I like you...very much..due to the circumstances which I am currently in right now it's not the best time. I am happy that you confessed trust me I too have a lot to share..i don't know if you would love me the same..she held my face no matter what I'll always love you... this made my heart even melt what did I do to deserve her... I hugged her thankyou but give me some more time....

"Yea I can understand"...

Is everything ok between us this will change anything Kiara asked in a mixed tone of worry and confusion.. nothing my darling.. she blushed.. infact you have to tell it more often when we ...i squeezed her ass and slapped it earning a chuckle.. do you get that "baby" ..her face got red indeed happy with the name yes ma'am.
She didn't pushed any further we laid there peacefully

Coming days our bond started getting more and more intense..she started calling me" love"on every intimate moments everytime we made love this is too overwhelming euphoric..i just wanted to reciprocate that love but I can't a huge weight of guilt disgust is still there .

5 months forward..

When everything is going good for some time something has to go down right it's been going good the trials ,office our bonding.

Firstly Adam s been telling me to meet up and discuss the future he's got updates of trials. Told me that i will win , at the point i am quite sure about that too it's getting close to final e ...its making me even sadder..i don't know my growing feelings towards Kiara . Her feelings, and i don't know what to do. Adam is free now and he kind of misses me , but how can I share this I've been trying to avoid him faking busy . But i have to talk to him. He did nothing wrong part of me still love him... it's all confusing...

Next is Melanie Richards...

One day in between the trials Melanie tried to indirectly shade me infront of Kiara .that night she asked me the question again which i feared to answer but this time.. I've decided to confess.
"Do you trust me" she said
"Yes" but it's worse than you imagine Kiara..i don't if you would see me the same
"Try me"..I love you Eliana nothing's gonna change that no matter whatever you are or you were..

My eyes started to get glossy but still remained strong..

Back in college..that girl which you have shown me..

Christeena right ?... Yea she was a beautiful soul, kind generous and a brilliant one.

Hm ..

So... She's been your sub.. issive?

Yea there were lot of them before her mostly the contact was for 4 to 6 months they were free to leave at anytime..or else i will automatically dismiss them when I feel they start to get true feelings.. Trust me I looked after everyone so well my punishments were not harsh , i took aftercare even I have paid there fees.
No one was offended by me or anything everything was going well.

Then it was Melanie..i signed..

"Melanie means Melanie Richards?"

Yes ..
When she came , everyone was head over heels...she was so interesting that it even made me curious..my new target was her one day at a party all my intentions with her got full filled ..she was good just a better version of myself... although we started having sex it didn't end up well since we both were you know alphas i chuckled remembering our sex turning into physical fight..but we were becoming best friends she was with me everywhere from parties to shopping, ditching classes, bitching people...soon she discovered my little secret..and that was the end of something good and beginning of something terror...

Kiara was listening to me carefully... countinue...she said calmly...
Then we ,...we decided to you know join ..

You both started to work as domme and christeena was your first...

Yea I hesitated..Yea her contract was comming to an end at that point almost 4 months but for Melanie i renewed it at this time christeena already had feelings for me ...i knew that i even suggested to change her but Melanie said new target would take time to select so at first we decided to go with her ..for the first 2 months everything was going good we were both present during pleasing as well as punishments.. Melanie was extreme in both.. pleasing as well as punishing . But i used to stop her when it was to much after sometime she started doing christeena alone ..it ended up in fights blw us it even hurted her ego because christeena was falling for me not her. she build her own playroom and used to take christeena there . Christeena used to complain a lot because of punishment Melanie used to hit her hard , choke her etc she used to tell me because poor girl was to scared of my friend. It repeated , repeated, ...and finally

I stopped to slow down my breathe

Then one day I was out received a call from Melanie...she was crying i rushed i found..her dead her pellite lifeless body filled with red marks her neck oh god...i can't...i broke down...i am the reason I am a murderer i should have stopped her ..i was nothing but stupid...i am a monster you should hate me ... I am not worthy of your love nor any women s...i am a godamn monster...

"Hey hey eliana look at me it's okay you did nothing wrong calm down.You re not a monster..she held me ...but I can't that image of her lifeless body... started looming in my head ..

Faint noises was heard from background Kiara was saying something but I couldn't hear a thing panic was hitting me...i am a monster
I was repeatedly saying that until everything grew dark....