.Her imperfect partner.?

44. first time

Eliana's pov

I can't describe what happened few moments ago. It was the most wonderful and horrifying experience I've ever had. Gosh she looked so beautiful, her face was so mesmerizing that i could make love forever with her . Jesus did i say love, i no longer understand what relationship am sharing with her, i Don't understand the feelings i have for her. Is it lust ? or something else ..her smile after coming from high made me remeber christeena's face ,it shocked me. Kiara is the only women i am having sex after the death of christeena ie too after seven years .

I promised her that she will be safe, i would protect and take care of her, but me ..i was the one Who allowed Melanie to get involved, i was the one who pushed her into lions den. I saw warnings but still i wasn't able to save her . Her justice was denied, her parents were not able bury her . All the guilt which i burried deep inside started to pop up revealing how much of a monster i am ..and she's looking at me lovingly with her beautiful eyes made me realise i don't deserve Kiara.. i really don't....i left ...that was all i could do she may feel that I left because of her,
But it's not the truth . But I can't say the truth. If i open up , i would break infront of her . Not that i am afraid but what would she think of me .. being with her is one of the scariest thing it's like i can't control my emotions near her ,

i am loosing my grip over the feelings wheather it's anger , happiness, sadness,Everything.
It's even hard to control tears. I never felt this weak before anyone... I always tend to cry alone that's what strong person's do right. I am strong, but with Kiara i felt weak ,not that kind of weak, i mean i don't want to act all strong infront of her , i need her to take her of me , i want her to hold me till i finish crying, i want her to listen to me , i want her to hug me and say everything's gonna be fine, i want her to calm me when my nerves are high . I want her to kiss me whenever I look into her eyes.... it's like i want her to hold my weight, i want to rely on her entirely and these thoughts are scaring me...so it's better this way .
she need to feel it was a mistake it would never happen again ... Becoz it's a mistake and i am monster.

(Breaking down alone in closed room)...

Kiara's pov

Shit shit!! what've i done, need to apologise or find her ,this was a mistake, i knew she had a boyfriend i am the homewrecker ..

well actually am the wife buah buah whatever it's it was not fair .

But she started it right, and then we got carried away whatever i could have said no right, but I didn't so there's my fault too...and i have to confirm her that it will not happen in the feature..

Why did she cry , i don't know maybe she thought she betrayed Adam , man now i feel bad.

Speaking of devil where is she , wait isn't it that room, yea the room that's always kept closed. Where everyone was restricted to enter she's comming out from it she closed the doors before I could peek, her eyes looked so puffy was she crying..what's inside that room.

I need answers i don't care if she's gonna yell at me beat me, i followed her on to her room , i pulled the door before she locked. She was on the floor, i turned over and locked the room.

"What the fuck are you doing"..even though she was crying her voice was stern as hell.

Well i am no longer intimidated as first, because now I slept with her and need answers.

"We need to talk"i said.

"Oh we don't have to, I was bored and you were all nice to my family so i thought you need some kind of reward so I fucked you once and you were boring.. probably won't happen again now get lost..."

I can't believe her, she's not even looking me in the eye, i know she's lying, well i don't know about the sex part, was i boring ,but she seemed to enjoy it , but her attitude is Making me furious, may be she's doing this to divert my focus , because she knew i would ask her why she was in tears.