My Life, My Forever (Sequel)

Chapter 12♡

(Alex's P.O.V)

Heading to therapy, I booked myself in. Things had been easier since my last appointment. I was fully focused on myself. Texting on my phone, Liv had suggested that all of us go shopping. It sounded like fun. 'Alex?" Mel called me. "Hi." Heading into her office, I put my bag down on the floor. "You seem good. How are things?" I was honest. "Things are much better. After ending my arrangement with Chris, I feel more free.' Mel asked me if I sent the letter. "As much as it pained me, I did it.' Mel wrote some things down. "How have you been doing emotionally?" I looked at her. "Sometimes, I'm really happy and then what happened with him hits me like a tonne of bricks.'

Mel said that was normal. "It's okay to give yourself permission to feel like that. You're going to be okay.'

She asked me if I had found an outlet to help with my 'grieving.'

"Not excatly. I just feel numb. It's strange. I was so used to be treated like rubbish, that I don't know how to heal." Mel asked me to pick up a pen.

She gave me a piece of paper. "I would like you to write down 5 things that you love about yourself." Well, that was going to be difficult. It's easier when your friends and family tell you.

Placing my pen on the piece of paper, I started to write.

1. I love how kind I am.

2. I love how good of a mom I am.

3. I love how I never give up even when things get tough.

4. I like the scars on my body. Even though they have bad memories behind them.

Crying a little bit, Mel gave me a tissue. "Thanks. Sorry.' She said that it was okay to cry. "You're letting go. That's all." I held the tissue in my hand.

"It's been a few months and I feel good. It's lovely being able to focus on myself, Tyler and Zack.' Mel asked me if I had been sleeping. "On and off. Sometimes, I'm up and my mom can hear me. I just lay there.. thinking. Constantly.' Mel asked me what I think about. "If I'm worthy enough. What if I can't get over what I've been through?" Mel ressaured me. "You are doing better than you think you are. You are here for a start. You're trying. You are worthy Alex.' I thanked Mel. "That's okay. How about we book another session for a couple of weeks time?"

I said that sounded great. "Does the 24th at 2.30pm sound good?" I checked my diary. "Yep.' Thanking her, I left. I heard my phone. It was Zack. "Hey darling. How are you?" Getting in the car, I put him on loudspeaker. "I'm alright thanks. Gran is just putting dinner on and I'm helping her. Gran wanted to know if you wanted spinach or cabbage?' Giggling, I said that I'd like spinach. "I like that with chicken.' He said that he'd missed me. "How was school?" I heard silence..

"It was okay." Asking him if he'd been, he changed the subject. "Could we talk when you get back please Mom?" I said yes. "Of course. See you soon sweetheart. Love you." He said he loved me too. I was worried about the boys. Hearing my phone, I saw a text from Olivia.

Pheobe's baby brunch is tomorrow at 2pm!xx

I actually forgot all about that. I was looking forward to it. Parking up the car, I let myself in.

"Hi Mom.' She kissed me on the cheek. "How was your session?" Putting my shoes and bag in the hallway, I helped her pour drinks. "It was really good. I wrote some things about myself. Some kind things." Mom looked at me. "That's progress. I'm proud." Finishing off the salad, she said that Zack had been off for most of the day. "You mean he didn't go to school? At all?" Mom nodded. "Tyler went, but Zack didn't go." Calling him, he headed into the kitchen.

He sat down. Putting the drinks on the table, I asked him why he lied to me. "You told me that you went to school today. Your gran said you stayed here all day.' He looked down. "Fine. I didn't go. It's not that important. I went down to the park.' Tyler then came in. "Hey Mom." I sat down at the table.

"Hi honey.' As Tyler helped my mom dish up the food, I asked Zack if he needed to see someone. "I'm fine. I just wanted to just let off steam." He pulled his sleeves down. "What do you mean by that baby?" He huffed. "I'm not a baby! Just leave me alone. I'm not hungry either.' He got his shoes. "Where are you going?" Putting his coat on, he huffed. "Out. It's not like I've got two loving parents to come home to.."

Hearing the front door slam, Mom placed her hand on my shoulder.

"I'll go after him." Getting my coat and shoes on, I headed out.

"I love you Tyler.' He said he loved me too.