Preface

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My name is Ace. I'm currently 18, my family consists of four kids, on which I'm the eldest girl. Which means that most of the responsibilities falls to me. My whole life, I've been told that I had to be someone, that I needed to do what they wanted because if I didn't they would make me feel worthless. I've had to live up to my parents standards, never actually meeting them, never being good enough. After a while, that's what I believed. I would never be good enough. I would always be a "jackass" or an "asshole" or "stupid, annoying". If you call your kid something for a very long time, they would believe it. Being a part of my family wasn't always a bad thing, they weren't bad, just made me feel worthless.

I have two younger sisters. Erica who is eight, and Jessica who is about to be fifteen. I have an older brother who is nineteen about to be twenty and lives on his own, his name is Matt.
My father's name is Mike, he's 40, my mothers name is Lilly's, she's 37, my whole life I felt as if something was wrong with me. That I was worthless, that my self harm scars showed I was crazy, that I was selfish because I was never good enough to be what they called a "perfect daughter".

I hope they forgive me, but I have to leave because if I stay here I don't know if I'll ever be okay.

So maybe moving in with my friend Katie and her mom in another state is the best idea, I get to live the life I want -it won't be easy but it will be mine- I can write poetry and maybe do a few slams and try instead of being told a hobby isn't a real career. I can finally be free, I won't be locked up in a damn house being told everything about me is wrong.

For once in my life, I can finally be what my father accused me of being, selfish.

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