The Love Letters (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 35

Today, Monday morning, I decided to go talk to Louis, but he didn't want to. This is what our conversation looked like:

"Louis!"

"Oh. Hi."

"How are you?"

"Fine." Then he turned around and left.

Zayn, who was standing next to me the whole time, saw everything and said: "He's mad."

"Yeah, no shit", I replied

"Are you sad?"

"No, I'm fucking happy because Louis hates me. Zayn, it feels like the sun hates me. Like the world hates me. Of course I'm sad!" Then I walked away, because I knew that I was going to cry, and didn't want Zayn to see me like that. I ran to the toilets and locked myself in the last cabin, because that was the one everyone hated, so no one would even try to enter. I stayed there for about ten minutes, then I looked into the mirror and saw my red, ugly face. It had to be washed. After I did that, I left the bathroom like nothing happened.

Now, about two hours later, I'm sitting in physics class, not understanding a thing, but also without paying attention, staring at my hands. All I can think about is my Louis. The way he got angry when I rejected him. The way bought me flowers and let me keep them, even though he ran away. The... The way something inside of him broke when he made me cry. He felt bad. I mean, that makes sense, he made the person he has feelings for cry, but it should have hurt me more than him.

Maybe I should write him a letter. I mean, after all, I still know the number of his locker. Number 578, right? Also, this is how all of it started, so maybe, he'll find it romantic. Louis is very romantic. I think he's going to forgive me that way.

"Dear Louis,

I know it's only been three days but I already miss you. Please forgive me.

-Harry"

That's it. No kiss, no heart, no PS. Very formal, very short, it doesn't express half of what I'm feeling, but I think it's enough. I mean, I don't confess anything, I don't apologise, because these are the things I want to do in person, just like he did. I carefully fold the letter, because I don't want anyone to see it. After the class, I go to the second floor and put the letter in the locker, like usually. Suddenly, I feel something, or should I say someone very close behind me. I turn around, and Louis stands in front of me, the expression on his face numb. He just stares at me. Even though the situation is serious, I blush, because he's way too close to me.

"Uhm, hi?"

"Go away", he simply says. The corners of my mouth drop immediately. Did he really... but I do what he wants. He opens the locker, grabs the letter and looks at it for a moment. Then he tears it up without reading it and puts it into his pocket. Without looking at me, he joins Niall, who stares at him, visibly confused. He looks from Louis to me and vice versa. Then he closes his eyes for a moment, and in the next one, he starts to angrily talk to Louis. I can hear the words "poor Harry", "you love him" and "not deserved", but Louis lets everything bounce off him. He coldly grabs Niall's wrist and pulls him out the hallway. I sigh. Why is he being that mean? I mean, he's angry, of course, but he doesn't have to hurt me like that in front of my eyes. I feel how the tears start to gather in my eyes. Fuck! Not again. I grab a paper tissue from my bag and wipe them away before they start leaking.

---

This is how it goes for the next two months. When I try to talk to him, he brushes me off. When I call him, he doesn't even pick up. And there's never an answer to all of my letters. They become more personal. He now knows that I only feel butterflies around him, that Zayn wants us to date, too, that my mother misses him. Well, only if he really reads all the letters. I hope he does. Maybe they're all in his bin, but maybe not. At least I'm being optimistic.

Niall came talk to me once. He said that he didn't understand what was wrong with Louis. He said that he wasn't himself anymore. He even asked me if I knew what happened, if I was involved. I nodded. He wanted me to tell me about it, but I said, if Louis didn't tell him, I shouldn't do it either, since they're best friends. Niall seemed to be disappointed, but Louis didn't want Niall to know anything, and I respected that. So I just stayed quiet, which didn't make Niall happy, but he dealt with it.

One day, I decide to write a longer letter. One he has to reply to. As soon as school starts, I grab some paper and a pen and start to write.

"Hey Louis,

It's been a while, hasn't it? It got worse. I miss you more and more each day. I know that I acted dumb and superficial, but now, you are overreacting. I apologised to you. More than once.

Now, this is going to be something a seven year old would do, but I've got a question: can we at least be friends again?

□ yes

□maybe

□ no

Please cross the right answer and put it in my locker. At least do that for me.

I like you.

-Harry

PS: Very much."

When the first class ends, I run to the second floor and put the letter in his locker. Then I hide and wait for him to show up, but he doesn't. I decide to look in my locker after school to know his answer.

---

"□ yes

□ maybe

■ no

We are done, Harry."