The Love Letters (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 29

The next morning, I wake up because of a movement. I lift my head and see that Louis turned around. he's lying on his chest, now. When we fell asleep, he was lying on his back.

"Lou", I mumble. He groans. I remove my head from his body and sit up. He looks like a cute little baby. His messy hair sticks out in all directions, but he still seems to be an angel. I push a strand of his hair behind his ear. He frowns and sighs. Is he still asleep?

"Louis!"

His eyes open. "Ming hry", he mumbles.

"What?", I laugh.

"I said: 'morning Harry'."

"Oh. Morning, Lou. Have you slept well?"

"Until you woke me up, yeah, I actually did."

"Thank you for staying with me."

"My pleasure." He turns around to face me. His blue eyes are light and clear, the opposite of yesterday.

"Your hair looks sticky", he says. I run my fingers trough it. "It is greasy", I reply. He chuckles.

"I'm going to shower", I say, "want to join?"

His eyes widen. "Uh- I... what?!"

"I was joking."

"Oh." He blushes. "Alright. Can I go later?"

"Of course you can."

After the shower, I see him on his phone. I creep up to him and look over his shoulder. He's texting his mum.

"I thought you were a grown-up who doesn't have to tell your mum about everything."

He flinches and turns around to me. Then he sighs. "You won't understand this."

"If you don't explain, I won't. I'd suggest you to explain." What you didn't do the past weeks.

"Alright... sit down next to me."

I do what he asks.

"Where should I start... I've already told you that my biological dad ran away when mum gave birth to me. The thing is, she was very young back then. She was eighteen. The only one who was by her side was me, even though I was very young. Then, she married another man, my stepdad. They got their first daughter together when I was seven. I think they really love each other, but for some topics, they have different opinions. That's the reason why my stepdad is not always there for her. But I am.

The thing is, there's such a big age difference between me and my siblings. I don't really see them as my siblings. I mean, I love them from the bottom of my heart, but my relationship to them is different than the relationship between them. That's why I have a special bond with my mother."

I nod understanding. That actually makes a lot of sense. It would also explain why he's such a mama's boy.

"And the thing is... my stepdad is homophobic. Very homophobic. And my siblings know and I think mum knows, too, that's why they argue a lot lately. I don't want to come out to them because I'm scared. I don't want to be the reason that they divorce or something, because it'd be horrible for my siblings."

"You don't have to come out if you don't want to. Society shouldn't make such a big deal of it." It's funny that I say that, who posted it all over social media and whose closet is full of clothes with rainbows on it.

"I know, but I like a boy, I've never had such huge feelings towards someone like for him, and if we would get together, I wouldn't want to be the reason he had to hide it."

"Is he queer, too?"

"Yes."

"Did he come out?"

"Yes."

Oh my god. That reduces the number of boys it could possibly be. I'm so clever.

"Who is it?"

Louis looks confused. "It doesn't matter. You'll find out, soon."

"What does soon mean?"

"Soon."

Wow. Thanks. "So you think he wouldn't be happy if you had to hide your relationship?"

He shakes his head. "Not at all."

So he's proud. I may not know who he is but I love him.

"Well, this won't sound like I was a good friend but you might not get together at all. In that case, you don't have to worry about this."

"I know", Louis says, "I know." He looks sad. "Apparently, I'm not his type."

"Aw. That's sad." Poor Louis. "Is he dating anyone right now?"

"No, he isn't. He's free."

"Then go for it! You won't find out anything if you don't try."

"Hm. I think I'm going to tell him soon. It would be better than the situation we're stuck in right now... Anyway, can we stop talking about him? It makes me uncomfortable." He blushes. Aww, he's adorable.

"Of course. Didn't you want to go shower?"

"Yes, haha." He gets up. "Can I borrow some clothes?"

"Sure, take what you want."

"Thank you. I'm going to give them back on Monday." He takes a jumper that's probably going to be too big, a pair of jogging pants and some boxers. I don't think they will fit his arse, since he's got way more, uhm, cake than me...

"Wait, Lou. I'm getting you boxers that would fit better." I give him a pair that's too big for me. He looks down at his body, and he seems ashamed. Fuck. This is not what I wanted to signal him...

"Thank you, Harry. I'm going to shower now."

I nod with bad conscience as I watch him disappear into my bathroom.