The Love Letters (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 30

I'm so happy Louis and I are friends, again. The past two weeks were just like before. And as soon as Lucas' and my "breakup" came to light, W started writing normally with me, again. Lucas was great, but this is better.

My friends weren't very surprised when I told them about the breakup. Zayn's reaction was like: "Oh that's sad, man." And that was it. I think they're all so focused on the Harry-and-Louis-thing that no one really cares. The only one who was there for me was Louis.

He also didn't give me my clothes back. I see him wearing my jumper sometimes, but I guess since I don't ask to get it back, he won't give it to me. I don't mind; he looks adorable. The only thing I got back were my boxers. I still feel bad for saying that thing to him that day. I shouldn't have done that. He's amazing the way he is.

Zayn started making jokes about it. When he saw that Louis gave me the boxers, he said: "Harry, didn't I tell you that you don't make your man come into his trousers?" Then he noticed that Louis wore my jumper. "That isn't really 'just friends' of you guys", he said. Louis just laughed it off. I haven't explained everything to Zayn, yet. I don't think I'm ever going to do it. It's embarrassing.

Today, I wrote a letter to W in which I told him that I'm ready to meet him if he's okay with it. I really hope he wants to, because I can't wait to see him. I started to imagine what he is like. I think he has beautiful blue eyes and long eyelashes, perhaps he's a little taller than me? And he probably has broad shoulders. I think he's brunette or black. I wouldn't mind about other colours, either. I hope he's as kind and funny in reality as in his letters. He just seems amazing. I can't wait to read his response tomorrow.

Louis still didn't tell me who his crush is. After school, in theatre class, while Zayn and Pam are playing an act of Romeo and Juliet, I say to him: "Hey, who is it?"

"Who is who?" His head leans on my shoulder and he looks with a tiredly at Zayn and Pam. I turn my head a little and my nose touches his forehead, then I stroke his chin. "Who your crush is."

"Oh." He blushes. "Ohhh. I told you you're going to find it out soon."

"Yes, but you told me this two weeks ago and I still don't know it."

"Yeahhhh... I'm afraid of my stepfa-"

"That's a lie. And even if it was be the truth, you still could tell me who it is, right? I mean you don't have to tell him, but I'm your friend so you could tell me."

He closes his eyes. I admire his features. His thin lips look very curved and red today. I wonder what it's like to kiss him. I'm going to ask his crush as soon as they to get together.

He's even got a little facial hair, now. It's very little, you can barely see it, but if you look really close, you can appreciate it. It's above his upper lip. I wonder if his facial hair is soft or hard. It's weird that he's twenty. A lot of boys get facial hair when they're younger, and it's way more. If you would judge only by his looks, you would think that he's younger. But if you get to know him, his age fits well, depending on how he acts. Sometimes he acts like a five-year-old, but when he tells me about everything's he's already done, it's weird to think that he's only twenty. I don't know, it's complicated.

"What are you doing, Harold?"

Oh. Louis has opened his eyes again. It must be very weird to him seeing me that close to his lips. I pull away.

"I was admiring your face", I say, "It's beautiful."

"Oh- uhm, thank you. So is yours."

"I know. You've told me several times."

"Which is good, because you have to know how beautiful you are. You're handsome and you dress nicely." He looks down at my skinny jeans.

Louis wears weird clothes. Like, sometimes, he wears normal jumpers and jeans, like right now for example, but sometimes, he wears suspenders and green trousers. It fits him, though. He looks stunning. Very fruity, but handsome.

"Anyway, when am I going to know?"

"This week."

"What day?"

"I don't know." He looks at me, with his soft lips and light blue eyes, and god, he's so close to me.

"During school or in the weekend?"

"I don't know, Harry. I need to think about it."

Why does he make such a big deal of it? He literally only has to say: 'my crush is *blank*' Is this that complicated?

"Are you ashamed of who it is?", I ask. I don't want to make him uncomfortable. He can trust me.

"No, I'm not. He's amazing." He smiles dreamingly. Aww, that's adorable. He seems in love.

"Then why don't you want to tell me?"

"Because... because."

"Because what?"

We look at each other, and the world just seems to stop. Louis seems magical. Not from this world. Is he real?

I don't know what takes over me, but my breath begins to speed and my heart begins to race, my hands get sweaty and I'm getting hot. What's happening? It just feels like two years ago when I had a crush on him; he had the exact same effect on me.

"Are you alright?" Louis asks. His hand lies on my wrist, now. I nod. "Yes..." I think. What the fuck happened?

"You're sure?" He partly looks really worried, but partly he looks like he knows what's going on and he's benefitting from it.

I push him away. "You're making me... weird. Stop it." Actually, don't stop. It might feel weird, but at the same time it feels good. Because for the first time since I started dating Lucas, there are butterflies in my belly again. For whatever reason.

"You actually like it. I can make you completely defenceless and you like it."

"I don't." I do. What is he doing? Why is he touching my hand, now?

"HARRY?! LOUIS?!", Mr. Rickman yells, "STOP BEING THAT ANNOYING AND PAY ATTENTION! YOU DON'T WANT ME TO SEPARATE YOU, DO YOU?"

We shake our heads.

"WELL THEN STOP!"

We nod. As Mr. Rickman turns around, Louis nuzzles his head into my neck and giggles. I shush him. I don't want to be separated from Louis.

I look down at him and his fluffy hair that's tickling my nose. Then I kiss him on the top of his head, before turning around to Mr. Rickman, again. We really have to pay attention.