Out Of The Blue (Completed)

27

He felt like a renegade in the world of love.

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It was eight pm and he had been staring at the cold cold text that he had gotten from her in this cold cold Chicago.

As it snowed, she snowed on his heart. Her words froze his heart from a path of no return. Only she could return it to normal but as he started to type back to reply asking her about the letter, she was not online.

He erased his text and sent her a question mark only to realize that she had left the chat.

He messed up real bad.

When it snows in Chicago, Nathan, realize that you have fucked it up. Bad, he reminded himself.

That sentence made no sense but it was making a lot to him at that moment.

It felt like the utmost truth to him. His last testimony.

Here lies Nathan, who ruined the only real thing in his life on the day that it snowed in Chicago.

He threw his phone on his sofa and ran up the stairs. He bolted two stairs at a time. He pushed open his door with so much force that it banged with the back wall. He opened it like it was the last time. He did the same with the bathroom door.

He stood on his toes and looked for the letter and surely it was there. He looked at it like his most prized possession even more than his Messi signed football number 10 jersey.

He got out and sat on his bed as he turned the lights on. He inhaled a breath and started reading the letter.

"I told you before there's a reason actors have scripts because it's hard for me to write groundbreaking, applause-worthy and heart trembling, eyeballing words. And I have very less time to put so much into phrases and paragraphs that'll make you understand how much you mean to me because they say actions speak louder than words and my actions right now are contrasting to my words and for once I hope you believe my words over my actions. I hope my words mean so much to you to look past my actions because I feel like this is the only chance that I'll get from you."

He shook his head at her words while reading the letter with a smile that had managed to creep onto his lips. She was purely crazy. One of a kind.

He continued to read it, "when I saw you for the first time, honestly, all I could think about was nothing. Watching you was like brain freeze. Because you knocked all my thoughts away with that god-amazing smile of yours that gets me weak to my knees always. Why you gotta be like that Nathan?! Just why?! Anyway, then they made us sit at that interview where you said that I gave politically correct answers and while you were listening to me say all those things, all I was thinking about was why hadn't I met you before. My life would be amazing, perfect, peaceful and the best part would be, I would've gained an honest friend. Imperfection combined with you Nathan is perfection."

He sucked in a breath at her words.
He wasn't perfect. The perfect example of that was that last call.

How could she think that his imperfections made him perfect, he was far from it.
But he had promised to believe her whenever she said something.

Regret filled his stomach as he realized he broke a sacred promise that he didn't deserve to make in the first place.

He continued with the letter, "I'm telling you all this and writing all this for it to become a writing permanently engraved in your heart so that whenever a moment like this comes, you have this letter to go to and when you can't find it, hopefully, you'll be able to remember every word I said to you because I mean every word that I'm writing to you and all those words that I've said to you till now."

Imagine! he hadn't even found the letter the first time and somehow she knew that this would happen in the future so she put it down in the paper explained how well she knew him.

He shook his head. That was all he seemed to do after he read the letter.

"Many times my mom asked me, Kay, what exactly are you looking for in a man and I said mom not much, all I want is not some kind of value or character but it's just something in the way he would look at me. That's all I wanted in a man . It was for him to look at me like you do, Nathan. So now I answer her that I have found him. Yes, before you get mad at me, you made me meet your mom before we even had our first talk! so you're in no place to hold some kind of grudge over me," he laughed at her cuteness.

"You're the best," he muttered as he closed his eyes and laughed and sat back with his back touching the velvet of the bed.

He soaked in her words. This letter could melt all the snow in Chicago and there would still be enough warmth left to warm his hypothermic heart because in his heart he knew that these words she wrote will always be one hundred percent only for him.

A calmness washed over him as finally, the chilly winds settled and the sun came out.

He opened his eyes as he continued to read the letter, "you heard everything I said with so much patience, and without even saying anything you changed my thoughts. I said I don't trust, you made me trust you and I did. You showed me the good in this world. You showed me there is someone on your side when the whole world is against you. I can go on and on and on but in the end, If I die tomorrow and today was my last day on earth and if I was given a choice to choose somebody to spend my last day with, it would be you, Nathan that's how much I love you. You did it, Nathan. You barged into my life, held my hand, and made me cross every line with you like a child, and somewhere in doing that you broke all the barriers and made me fall in love with you. I don't know what is love? If it even is a feeling or a myth or whatever, I don't know if it exists or not but whatever it is, I still manage to feel it for you. Even through my stupid denial phase, I have loved you and I pray to the God's of love that you feel this same mythical feeling for me too."

Her letter made him feel remorseful.

Here lies Nathan, the world's biggest idiot.

This letter had pierced his heart. Every word was tattoed on him.

They say one shouldn't hear what others say about you because they don't love you and care about you and everything they say are like echoes in your mind and pretty soon it feels like those words are written all over us like they're a part of us.

But the effect that the words of someone who loved you and cared about you and you pushed that person away can have on you is unimaginable. He felt like a renegade in the world of love.

He wanted to talk to her. He couldn't just call her up. It felt too small an apology for what he had done to her.

He knew he needed to call her up and tell her he loved her as well.

He would let her in if she would let him in again.