I'll Always Love You - A Romanogers Fanfic

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Okay hear me out! I'm sorry about last chapter, but it's because even though I had no idea how long I'd write this story when I began, it was always my plan to follow the movie storylines.
Believe me I hate this as much as you, and that's why I'm gonna write a sequel where they're happy, and I think I've mentioned this sequel before, but my memory is as bad as a goldfish's so I have no idea.
But anyways, I'm writing this sequel to myself at least, no matter what, and I'll upload it if anyone's interested.

Okay, the story will continue now. Again I'm sorry...

STEVE'S POV

We land back at the compound, back in 2023, and I think it worked. I have a really good feeling.

All around me the others shows up, everyone seemingly with a stone.
"Did we get 'em all?" Bruce asks next to me.
"Are you telling me this actually worked?" Rhodey chuckles.

I look around. Everyone is smiling and seems happy, until I get to Clint. He looks miserable, and Nat isn't with him.

She...she can't be...right?

"Clint, where's Nat?" Bruce asks.
Clint looks at Bruce with tears in his eyes, and then at me.
He doesn't say anything, and the silence says it.

No. No that can't be true.
I can't...how am I supposed to..? Is...I...no...NO!
I can't get a word out even though I can feel everyone's eyes on me.
Everything other than Natasha disappears from my mind. I lost my Nat. I lost the love of my life.
No...I...I can't have...no she's gotta be out there alive.

As we part ways to go change from our time travel suits, I feel empty. I feel hollow. I feel so utterly lonely, but I don't feel sad...I don't get it...it's like...it's because...I mean...she's gotta be out there.
I don't want to admit that she probably isn't, but I've got enough sense, and Clint was devastated.

When I open the door to mine and Nat's room, it's like I can hear her laughing like she always does when we watch bad romance comedies, it's like I can hear her voice, the way she breathes when she sleeps.

And then I spot her favorite t-shirt of mine. The one she always wears.
I almost run to it, and I pick it up and I inhale her comforting scent.
And I break down into the t-shirt.

I feel so hopeless. Like nothing makes sense.
It doesn't.
"This...doesn't...make sense" I cry into the t-shirt.
I try to hold back my feelings, but there's too many. Feelings like I've never known them.

I shut my eyes tightly, to not see the world. I don't want to see the world without her, but she's in my head too, and I see her. Flaming red hair, those eyes that were one of the first reasons I fell in love with her, her smile, her beautiful smile that made me believe that everything was okay. Her voice, her fingers in my hair, her lips on mine.
She'd completely stolen my heart, and I lost it with her.

It knocks on the door and I suppress my tears. I don't want them to see me cry. I only love Natasha enough to let her see that.
"Cap, we're going to the dock" Tony says softly from outside the door.

I get up, and I quickly change my clothes, putting on the t-shirt and a leather, before I open the door, surprised to see Tony still standing there.
"I'm sorry man" he says and gives me a sympathetic pat on the back.
"Yeah...I..." I try, but I can't, and I walk away from him towards the door.

Clint, Tony, Bruce, Thor and I meet on the dock in the lake by the compound.
I can't handle being with them. I can't handle not having Natasha here, but what's hardest for me to handle is...that I'm not even sure what I'm feeling right now. It feels surreal.

I think I feel sad...but I'm also angry...and I don't understand it.

After answering Tony's question about her having a family, I - at least for a little while, blur out everything they're saying.

I try hard not to cry, but I can't...
At least not after Clint says we can't get her back...and saying it was supposed to be him.

After throwing a bench in the lake, Bruce turns to us.
"She's not coming back. We have to make it worth it. We have to" he says, and looks at all of us.
Hardly anything can be worth losing Nat, but she wanted this, and she worked so hard. She deserves to rest, knowing that she made the world a better place, because she did. And especially for me.
"We will" I say and get up from my seat determined.

I start walking alone back to the compound fast, sniffling to hold in my tears, and clenching my fists to suppress the insane anger I'm feeling.

"Steve..." Clint says and catches up to me.
He's still fragile from his outburst, it's obvious in his voice, and I should go easy on him, but I am so angry.
"I don't want to talk to you Clint. I don't want to talk to any of you right now" I say with gritted teeth.

Clint grabs onto my arm and pulls me towards one of the back doors of the compound.
He lets go of me when we're standing across from each other in the empty lobby.
"We need to talk, Cap, and you know it" he says.
"Well, what do you want to talk about?" I ask annoyed. I have so little left for anyone that isn't Natasha right now.

I know this chapter is a little blunt, but we're getting dangerously close to the end, and we need closure. 3 chapters max!