I'll Always Love You - A Romanogers Fanfic

1

(Before Civil War, short after Age of Ultron)

"Captain Rogers, Agent Romanoff" Fury nods his head at the two.
"Fury, sir, what is the mission?" Romanoff asks.
"You two are still seen as fugitives in some of our employees eyes. They want you gone" he says.
"That isn't a mission, that's a fact" Rogers says and cross his arms.
"Yeah, why do you keep them here, are they more necessary than us?" Romanoff asks with her sassy attitude.
"We need them for technicalities" Fury says unamused. "You are going to Europe to track down HYDRA bases" he continues.
"Where in Europe?" Rogers asks.
"We'll send further details, Quinjet leaves tomorrow at 7 am, and we'll have S.H.I.E.L.D associates close to you everywhere you go, and you will have to go undercover from time to time" he says and hands Agent Romanoff a file before he continues to the elevator.

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NATASHA'S POV
I open the file I received from Fury. Steve looks over my shoulder.
Fake passports, fake driver's license and fake ID's.
"It seems simple enough so far" I say and look at Steve.
"Yeah so far, but it probably won't be" Steve says and looks out the window like he's thinking.
"No probably not" I say as I open the passport.
NATALIE RUSHMAN. My undercover name. I check out the details that seems to fit, but why wouldn't they. Hill probably made them.
I open Steve's as well.
DAVID RUSHMAN.
"Huh" I mumble when I look at the name.
"What?" Steve asks and looks at the passport in my hand.
"Looks like we're playing husband and wife or brother and sister" I say.
"That's probably practical, otherwise they wouldn't have done it" he says and takes his passport out of my hand to look further at it.
"Yeah nothing we haven't done before" I agree and take the passport back and puts it in the file again before closing it.
"We better go pack" Steve says and looks out the window again at the sun that's setting.
"Yep, see you tomorrow" I say, and we high-five as we go in opposite directions.

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STEVE'S POV

I'm packing everything I need for the mission, which isn't much seeing as S.H.I.E.L.D is taking care of most of it.
I do pack some necessities though.
Five of my muscle t-shirts, two regular ones, a couple pairs of jeans and sweats, a couple of hoodies and sweaters and some underwear.

I neatly puts it in my tiny suitcase. It only just fits, but carrying a lot of luggage isn't practical so I make do with what space I have.
I pack my last bathroom essentials and closes the suitcase that I put by the door before exiting to go to the canteen for some hot dinner.

When I come back to my small room, that I rarely stay in, two of my Captain America suits have been left on the narrow bed.
I put them in the bag that's been left with them, and hangs them on the suitcase before going to my closet with the special compartment for my shield.

I lock it before going to the bathroom to brush my teeth and shave. It's 9.30 and it must be time for bed soon.

When I am done in the bathroom I put on some gym shorts and a tank top before laying down in bed.

I have a good feeling about this mission.
Since we got paired as partners in S.H.I.E.L.D after New York with The Avengers, Natasha and I have very few times not completed a mission to perfection.
We're an ideal mission pair, so this can only go fantastic.

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NATASHA'S POV

When I've packed everything, my guns, my catsuits, all the fighting gear I carry and all the other things, I curl up on the narrow bed to read a book.
It could possibly be a long time until I got the chance again, so I have to finish it tonight.

After reading for an hour or so, I start to feel a little tired and I go get ready for bed.

When I climb under the covers I immediately fall asleep, but the nightmares haunts me.

I wake up in the middle of the night, covered in sweat. My throat is sore, and I know I've been screaming in my sleep as I often do.
The nightmares has gotten worse.
After we came home from Sokovia, Bruce had just left, leaving me alone with only a torn shirt. He didn't say anything. Just left. Of course I burned the shirt but I felt empty even though I wasn't even close to loving him.

The nightmares are bad here, and I can't seek help from Steve, as he lives at his own place unless there's a mission. I'm on my own, and it's best that way anyways.

I get out of bed and open the drawer in my closet with my weapon collection. I grab one of the knives, and the handcuffs gently tucked away in the corner.

⚠️TW⚠️ — Mention of self-harm

I put the knife to my thigh just above my knee. There's no more room on my thighs.
This is the only way I know I'll be able to fall asleep again.
I cut. It stings, and a couple drops of blood lands on the light carpet. I drag the knife across my thigh in one movement. A deep cut forms.

When I've transferred the pain to physical pain I sigh and go back to bed and grab the bandage on my nightstand and wraps my leg before cuffing myself to my bed like they did to me in The Red Room and then I fall into a light restless sleep.