I'll Always Love You - A Romanogers Fanfic

78

STEVE'S POV

I drag Nat up the stairs to our apartment.
She's laughing goofily at something that I don't know what is, but it's so cute it's killing me.

Still holding her I manage to unlock the door and open it.
"Welcome back home" I say and throw the keys on the side table by the door.
"I know where the kitchen is" she says and then she leaves me in the hallway.

"Yes you know where the kitchen is, you lived here for a half a year" I smile and lean against the doorframe when I join her in the kitchen, looking at her eating peanut butter out of the jar.
She chuckles. "I've almost lived at the Compound for longer now" she says, and she sounds like eating something has sobered her up a little bit.
"Yeah...I guess you have" I say and look down.

"Is it okay if I stay over? If it's not a problem?" She asks after a while, and gives me a little smile.
"Wha-, what? Of course you can stay over, it's your apartment too" I say. Why is she even asking?
"Not anymore, I moved out five months ago" she says, and I know if she was completely sober, she'd know that her saying that hurts me, even though I know it.
I want to yell at her. Tell her that she shouldn't even have moved out in the first place, but that's not what I do.
"Sure you can stay over, I'll erh...I'll sleep in here" I give her a stiff smile before I go look in the tiny pantry by the door for extra linen, and I don't look her in the eyes until I've gotten the couch ready.

"Guess sleeping is now" I say and look around the room, avoiding her beautiful green eyes, when the awkwardness comes creeping for real.
"Yes, that's a good idea, sobering up and shit" she says with a smile.
"Goodnight Natasha" I say softly, and I dare to caress her cheek even though it's stupid.
She closes her eyes and lean into the touch, just for a second.
"Night Steve" she says, and she leaves the living room, closing the door to the bedroom behind her.
I sigh deeply. Man, I wish I'd kissed her goodnight.

Thinking about her lips, and the feeling of her skin, I go to bed, looking at the wall-clock telling me that it's almost 4.30.

"I wish you knew I still love you Nat" I mumble to myself before I fall asleep.

"You have failed as Captain, Rogers" Thanos says smiling shyly at me, his face all weird and distorted, more weird than normally.
"I know I have. But you have killed half the population of the galaxy" I give back.
"Yet I haven't taken the person whom the very biggest part of your love lies with" he says, and then suddenly Natasha appears, bloody, sweaty and on the verge of death.
"You...could...have...saved me...and everybody" she says in shock.
"I'm sorry Natasha, I am...I" I say, but I don't get to say anything more before Thanos cuts off her head like Thor did to him.

I sit up. I'm sweating, and I'm sure that it's true, so I rush to the bedroom, without even knocking, but Natasha's sound asleep, still with her head.
"Oh god, Nat, you're okay" I sigh relieved and I climb into bed, and hug her tightly.
"What are you doing?" She asks tiredly and rubs her eyes.
"I had a nightmare" I whisper into her shoulder. "A bad one" I add.
She sits up, and runs her fingers through my hair, and then puts her hands on my cheeks.

"Look at me, Steve" she says when I keep my eyes on the duvet.
I look up at her, and I instantly feel a bit safer.
"What was it about?" She asks and caress my cheek with her thumb as she waits for my reply.

———————————————

NATASHA'S POV

He looks shaken and terrified, and it makes me feel as if I made him this way, which I probably did.

"What was it about?" I repeat myself.
He sighs deeply, still not saying anything.
"If you don't want to talk about it, you can just stay here" I say. I really want him to.
"Thanks" he smiles, and I smile back before I move to the side where I used to sleep.

I can't really fall asleep again, and I look at my phone.
6.00.
It's too early to get up.

I stare into the wall, listening to Steve's breathing from the other side of the bed.

After a while he moves closer and wraps his arms around me. I think he thinks I'm sleeping.
"I missed you so much Nat" he whispers, and kisses my shoulder.
I try to act like I'm sleeping, but I want to tell him how much I've missed him too, so I turn around to look at him, and in the bit of light from the street I can see his cheeks turn pink in embarrassment.
"I missed you way too much too" I say, and put my hands on his cheeks, and they turn even more red.

Our lips slowly move closer to each other's, and I can almost hear his heartbeat, syncing with my heartbeat.
Both our breathing intensifies, as his hand slowly snakes up under the t-shirt I found in my own closet.

He grabs onto my back, and gently, but desperately pulls my body close up against his.
"I need to kiss you, I'm sorry, but I do" he breathes, and his lips connect with mine before I get to answer, tenderly and eagerly.

I move closer to him and pull his face towards mine, needing his kiss so badly.

His hands finds the hem of my shorts pulling them off with a quick movement.
I don't care that this shouldn't be happening without at least talking first and I don't care that this is happening fast, because I can't resist. Fuck I can't resist him.

I help him out of his tank top before he works my t-shirt over my head.

He gets me out of my panties, taking in the look of me with wide eyes and flustered cheeks.

I help him out of the last piece of annoying fabric and we both sigh relieved.
Dammit this always happens; if we haven't seen each other for too long, this happens, apparently nothing else is possible for us.

I guess we're just a couple of horny fuckers madly in love.

"I missed you" he whispers as he sucks on my neck.
"I missed...you more" I whisper, my sentence being broken by a moan.

"And I lo-.." he begins, panting, but I cut him off with a deep kiss.
"Don't say it" I order, because it'll fuck up my mind.

I form love bites on his neck, as a reminder to him that we did this, even though it's absolutely not the first time, but because this time was so incredibly stupid because of all our unspoken shit.