Chapter 38

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Prepare yourself for a cheesy AF chapter, I didn't really know what to do following on from the last chapter so I hope it works.

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I took a few moments to compose myself. I thought about what he had said before about not expecting anything and I believed him. I was 90% sure he was only winding me up now. But a small part of me thought he may have been getting fed up of waiting. After all, I doubt any other woman would have made him wait, he was probably able to get anyone into bed.

'Umm I'm just gonna nip to the bathroom', I said as I scurried down the hall.

'Luce, you ok?' Chris shouted after me.

'I'm fine', I hollored back as I made it into the bathroom and locked the door and leant against it letting out a dramatic sigh.

'Right, take some deep breaths and calm down', I said to myself outloud. 'You know he's only half serious, just take a minute, compose yourself and go back out.'

'Luce, is everything ok?', you heard Chris say from the other side of the door.

'I'm fine, I won't be a minute', I replied turning on the tap and splashing my face with water. I dried my face and cautiously unlocked the door and opened it, to find Chris on the other side with a very worried look on his face.

'Are you ok?', he asked looking very concerned.

'Yeah, I'm fine', I said as I stepped out. I couldn't move for his massive bulk.

'Lucy, you practically ran away, what's wrong? Did I do something?', he asked taking my hands in his.

'I guess I just freaked out a little', I answered honestly scuffing the floor with my socked foot and letting my gaze follow my foot so I didn't have to look him in his gorgeous eyes.

'Ok, now we're getting somewhere, come on sit down and we'll talk about it', he offered as he made space for me to get past.

I took the offer and walked back into the living room and plonked myself down on the sofa and curled my legs under me, Dodger got up from where he had been lay and placed his head next to me on the sofa and looked up. Chris took a seat next to me putting his arm behind me on the sofa and turned his body so he was looking at me.

'What's the matter?', he gently asked.

'Ugh, ok, this is gonna be a ramble so you're just gonna have to stick with me till I've finished ok?'

'Ok', he said waiting for me to proceed with my ramblings.

'So, I know it may not seem it but I'm really shy. Like painfully shy. I get very nervous meeting new people and I'll try and get out of it if I can. But both those things are something I've been working on since I got divorced as I didn't want to be like that anymore. Which is probably why I've acted like a completely different person with you. Thing is, and this is gonna sound cheesy as hell, but I just feel like I can be myself with you. You make me feel comfortable and secure. I don't feel like I've got to put on any airs and graces with you. I feel like I've known you for years.'

I took a deep breath before I carried on.

'Before Ian, I only had one serious relationship. I'm quite inexperienced really. Because of my shyness and anxieties it was hard to meet people. So when it comes to the ya know intimate stuff, I'm really nervous and shy. I know I'm 34 and this must seem really weird, but that's me. I am weird.'

I hadn't realised but I'd started to cry as I had been talking. All the angst that I had been holding on to had decided to let go.

'Luce, don't cry, please?', Chris asked as he moved closer to me and envelope me in his arms. I buried my face in his shoulder and cried a bit more.

'Why are you crying?', he asked as I sat up and wiped my tears away.

'I think it's a combination of things if I'm honest. I've been running on adrenaline to get over here and I think that's finally run out. I'm obviously jet lagged, but also I've been holding onto a lot of emotion. I rarely let myself cry. It's been a really tough couple of years with the divorce and trying to find myself again. And meeting you, and getting to know you and coming over here has just made me realise that I've found me again. And you know what? I like me. And I like who I am when I'm with you.' I let out a big sigh and shyly smiled at him. I could feel my cheeks burning. God I was so damn cheesy.

'I like who you are too', Chris simply said. 'You're my girl.' My heart could have burst right there. It was one thing to say it flippantly over the phone but he hadn't said it by accident this time around. He meant it.

'You mean that?' I asked cautiously.

'I wouldn't say it if I didn't', he answered. 'And like I said to you before, please don't feel pressured. I know we were messing around before, and that was nice, but don't think I'm going to go off you just because we're not doing anything else. I like you Lucy, I really like you. I'm not going anywhere.'

At that moment, the doorbell rang and Chris jumped up to collect our food. I just sat on the sofa with a dumb grin on my face. I felt like I was on cloud nine.

'Ok Luce, you wanna come and help me with the food', he said taking the bags to the kitchen. I jumped up and followed the lovely smell of food. We got all the necessary stuff out and sat at the breakfast bar tucking into all the food we'd ordered. It was incredible.

'Nice?' he asked smiling at me.

'It's as nice as it looked, I'm gonna eat so much!', I said diving into the next dish.

'Do you feel ok now?'

'Yes I do, thank you Chris', I said placing my hand on his forearm.

'No need to thank me, I just listened. I know we haven't known each other very long, but I feel like I've known you forever too. Please talk to me if you're ever worried, I'll always listen, ok?'

'Ok, I will', I replied with a big grin on my face.

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