divorced

have to suffer in silence

Going home, it was a very stagnant and quite drive, mew just didn't know what to do or to think after he was thrown out of Gulfs apartment, to dress to hall quick.
Parked, he gripped the steering wheel and hard, he just couldn't think, only felt.
Gulping and hard, mew needed to go in, going to the door, he placed the key to the lock to open, going in, he's back was too his mother who sat to the counter downing some coffee, she turned her head to eye.
Hinta and hota ran out from there room to go to him, to show they completed there homework.
"Daddy, daddy, look!" Hinta exclaimed.
Hota smiled next to her sister.
Mew had to take a very long deep breathe, placing on a fake smile he turned to then crouch to gather them up, to hold tight.
They placed there Chins to his shoulder, to look at the other questionably.
"Daddy?" Hinta asked.
"Daddy what's wrong?" Hota asked.
Mew took in a deep shaky breathe.
His mother eyed him to get up, to go to them to look down.
"Um, mew? Maybe the two girls need to go back to there rooms for a moment, hinta, hota? I need to talk to daddy okay."
Mew let them go, to strightened up to eye very sullen.
They looked to him to pout to then hang there heads to go to there room, mew watched tears started to well up.
His mother looked to him.
"Mew, what is going on?"
He took a deep breathe watching the girls go to there room to shut the door.
Mew then turned his head to eye her.
"None of your concern, thank you for coming and watching mine and Gulfs girls, you can leave now." He answered coldly.
Turning he then went straight to his room to close the door, to then step to the edge of the bed to eye, he balled his hands into fists, grabbing the covers he threw them off the bed, to then go to his knees to place his hands to his eyes to cry.
Damnit! Why can't he fucking just listen to me, for one shitty moment! And now he says it's really over! He is going to date!? Damnit!  I love him, love him so fucking much! My heart is shattering, why can't he just listen to what I have been trying to tell him for the last couple of years! I know I made a mistake! Know I cheated on him with that piece of shit seceratary! But there is still so much too it!
Fuck! Why! God damnit why! I don't want it to be over! I just love him so much! He has my heart! My body and soul! There is no one else for me! Mew wept.
To gulfs apartment
He laid to the couch, drinking, First one beer then another, having low tolerance, he became drunk rather quick. Peering his eyes to the coffee table, he placed his beer bottle to the top, to then grab his phone, he swayed a bit.
Looking through his contacts, gulf saw his bosses name came up, he took a deep breathe to text him.
Gulf: hi, I know I am texting you late, however, I was wondering, can I take you up on that offer for coffee?
He then hit sent to toss his phone to the table, grabbing the bottle he got up to then down it, consuming it all, he then let it fall through his fingers to then go to his secert cabinet to then get more.
Twisting it off, he then lifted his head back to down more.
Placing it down, he brought the back of his hand to his mouth, to take deep breathes.
Looking to the side, his eyes widen, mew was there to take the bottle, to place to the counter to shake his head.
"You can not, drink to heavily, you know this."
Gulf looked him over, tears streamed down his face, has he took a step forward to try and wrap his arms about, he opened his eyes to see he was wrapping his arms around himself and the beer bottle.
Screaming, he threw the beer bottle to the wall to then sink to his knees to hang his head to wrap his arms about to cry heavily.
"Damn it! Why does this have to be happening to me! I was the good boyfriend, great husband, I may have thought this was karma for thinking I made mew cheat on Santi with me, but now that I know they was all fake, why is this happening to me! Fuck! Why do I have to still love him!? Why do I still want to be with him!? Why is my heart yearning for that bastard! He did fucking cheat on me! I don't give a damn what he is trying to tell me! That is the reality of the matter! God damn it!"
Gulf then fell to his side, tear droplets hit the floor, he then moved to his back to look to the ceiling, it started to move.
"I...... Am still in love with you mew, even though you cheated on me with them, I just can't stop myself. "
Gulf closed his eyes to place his hands to them.
I am a fucking idiot for still being in love you! You have done so much shit to me, I may have been bad at times, but I believe I have paid for it and then some, this..... Really is over, no more, I just can't, you and I mew are toxic, we can't do this anymore, I need to finally move on, need to see someone else, sleep with someone else, be with someone else, I know that thought Is killing me, but what is the alternative, this.
Gulf took his hands down to streach his arms out, to keep his eyes closed to take deep breathes.
Gulf...... This really is the end of the two of us, no more.....I can't take it...... Not anymore.....it is time to move on, something I should have done a long time ago.
Has gulf feel into his drunken stupor, his phone then pinged back.
From his boss: I would love to take you out for coffee. Can it be has a date?