Silk and Leather

(Finale)Part 35: Blind walk forward

It's almost the start of a new year, signalling the start of the second year of me and Lysa's relationship or at least nearing that stage. Granted each minute of every hour, hour of each day, day of each week and so on was a milestone in itself for me personally. Yeah I loved Lysa that much I was happy each moment I was with her, even though saying that sort of thing out loud is a little creepy.

Between Christmas Day and now, it was perhaps the best holiday I'd had in a while. Although I did find myself blanking out in memories, for it felt at times feeling as if I saw ghostly images of my parents and sisters. Funny how you can be both happy and sad at the same time for the exact identical reason.

By this time I'd grown used to these thoughts, of family now gone but also yet to come. Wait why am I thinking about kids? I'm far from ready to be a father, let alone a husband. Not a bad thought I suppose, still a far fetch one regardless. I might have to ask for Lysa's opinion on this, although she'd probably say I'm being a big silly idiot or something long those lines. Problem solving was one thing but social relationships a whole other cattle of fish for me.

Speaking of Lysa, she had spent alot of time with Grandma and seemed to have picked up alot of her interests such a knitting and sewing. Well I didn't know if they were hobby-crafts for Lysa or just to pass the time for I had a backlog of work left over from weeks previous. House repairs, snow removal and few other minor tasks that were either out of reach for Lysa or too labouring for Grandma. Tiring as it maybe, I found the whole day relaxing even with the cold wind making my hands numb.

Coming back inside after getting my list of tasks done, I sat in front of the fire warming up my hands, it's a unique experience being in front of a wooden fire crackling inside a stone fireplace. Whilst looking at it my mind partly remembered the day my life changed forever, but it didn't cause me to have an episode or anything along those lines. Perhaps it was a sign my wounds had healed somewhat? I didn't really know or dare to think for that possible risk of falling into an episode.

Towards dinnertime Lysa had insisted for Grandma to take a rest after she appeared rather worn out, a part of me was worried for Lysa pushing herself for the sake of it, yet I also couldn't deny Grandma's frail body due to her age. Might as well get a little conversation going, least to get my mind off things.

"Say Grandma." I asked shortly after she had sat down in her chair letting out a relaxing groan, then she turned to face me with her elderly smile.

"Yes, what's the matter deary?" answering in the form of a question, just what was the matter I pondered. I suppose it's pretty simple but even then it's hard to explain without being blunt or nervous.

"It's just that, I dunno. Had these thoughts of family as of late, not like before but you know." I fragmentary answered, I'm sure Grandma knew what I meant and judging by the expression she did, I could tell she was laughing mentally.

"Thinking of settling down already dear, but you've yet to live the hustle and bustle of your youth." She responded with a chuckle, it did make me smile a little although not enough to be noticeable. I didn't really much care about the enjoyment of youth, being young meant mistakes and I had enough of those to last my twenties combined.

Not long after that Lysa entered saying it was alright for Grandma to dish up, being left alone and to my own devices I sat in deep trains of thought, right up until being snapped out of it hearing the dinner was ready.

Dinner proceeded as usual, only I was more quiet then normal. It made both Grandma and Lysa concerned just by taking quick glances at them, my face must of said it all. I decided to break the silence with the only thing I could think of at that stage.

"Hey Lysa, wanna watch the fireworks? We can see them clearly from the roof." I asked her whilst being mildly eager myself, perk with living on a hill was you get height advantages for this sort of thing so you rarely have to head far to watch them.