Silk and Leather

Part 30: Loss of guidance.

A week had past since I started to work as a chef at Troy's family diner, honestly I was enjoying it even to my own surprise. Lysa felt the same but more often then not, she seemed disappointed that due to the work we had little time outside of it for dates. Me on the other hand felt it was enough with her being beside me yet I didn't know how a woman thought.

A man could see something as fine but to a woman it's not, only prospective I could think of to describe it as a man is if you was reading a book with each adjacent letter in a different language, font and direction of axis. So you'd just end up staring at something that'd confuse you to a major headache.

Those smart enough to attempt a decipher would only gain more of those said headaches cause a woman's brain can only be partially figured out by another woman. Damn what am I even rambling on about?

"Ash, you alright?" Lysa asked out for it appeared that I'd zoned out, as of lately this had continued to become a common occurrence during our lunch break at work. I'd often sit silent and just stare into abyss, plus it normally was accompanied by this growing uneasy feeling like something bad was closing in. The likes of which I hadn't a slightest clue or hint.

Well not entirely true for I kept convincing myself Grandpa was gonna be alright. He'd been stuck in hospital since last week and Grandma's been over there daily, did take a while for Doctor's being able to convince her that staying beside Grandpa wouldn't help her own health. She was happy that I was doing my best to be there for her though, this current point in my life is like fragile glass so I had best be careful on what happens.

"Yeah I'm fine Lysa, just thinking on something." I replied toward my fiancée whom looked mildly concerned, guess my expression hinted I was lying but what else could either of us do. I was too stubborn and she wasn't one to press a matter forcefully, in short we're always at a stalemate until one side falters into submission and even then it's not an easy task.

"I wish you'd tell me when something is bothering you Ash." She sighed out turning around to head back inside before adding "Seeing you hurt is heart-wrenching for me." This is bad, if my efforts are making Lysa feel this way then what exactly have I been doing these past few days.

Grandpa what would you tell me in a situation like this, I could really use some insightful advice. Hold on a moment, why don't I just ask Grandma? Yeah that's a less stressing and safer alternative, for now though I had best get back to work.

Sure enough as I got home there was Grandma to greet me, after placing my shoes on the rack and jacket up upon a hook I proceeded to help her with dishing up dinner. Whilst at the table I explained my personal situation, she like always smiled in her elderly caring fashion before adjusting her glasses appearing to be in thought.

"You're afraid of losing something at this stage of you life? Deary me, this is what I feared would happen" being her answer as her smile dropped into a frown clearly saddened by the ordeal. Grandma was perhaps one of the smartest and wisest people I knew, so to her the fact this feeling of unease that came about was almost like no surprise what so ever.

"Ash, promise me that should the worst happen you won't give into the pain." Were next to follow, such a bizarre and odd request for Grandma to ask me.... unless of course, oh no.

"You mean.... Grandpa is running short on time?" I asked with moderate amounts of hesitation for I didn't want to hear the answer but at the same I had to, Grandma only nodded with a slow sadden filled exhale. Her eyes were welling up but she wasn't crying, now I felt as though I'd become the Grim Reaper's messenger.

The rest of our night was silent, neither me or Grandma spoke during that time frame as we went about the normal evening routine. Grandpa I know you'd tell me not to get involved with this but I need your opinion at least one last time. That night I barely slept at all as I stared upward at a plain white ceiling.