✓ | 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐂, Stefan and Damon

Chapter 51

Ahhhh! Sorry for taking so long to update! I know that you all want more and honestly I have been updating more on BM just because pushing out this certain part of the plot has been hard. Writing about anxiety and depression is hard for me because it brings back memories.

You can feel like you're alone even when people are all around you. It sucks, but it happens. Remember to be kind to those who have these struggles. If you have never felt that way, you have no idea how lonely and lost you feel when your heart tells you that nobody loves you and that it's all an act. I know for me that I have felt like this, so just remember to be kind. Try to be kind even when you feel like you can't. It really does help.

What I wished for in my life was to be able to be enough. It was what I had always wanted. The feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness clouded my judgement at every turn. What would I do if I was not good enough? What would happen if I finally lost myself?

Having a mate was the best thing for a vampire and for a witch, but things still got hard. Normally someone's self esteem would go up, but mine just went down. I wanted to prove myself, to show Damon and Stefan that I was good enough for them. I knew that both of them love me, but my anxieties didn't care about that.

The two of them are what made me whole in the sense of my romantic life, but even with them something was just wrong. Everything was wrong and I couldn't pinpoint it. I could just blame it on anxiety and move on, but I had never been wrong when I thought something was amiss.

I doubt that I could be wrong now. After 1000 years, I had never been wrong about that.

"Angel, can you pass the blood bag?" My blue-eyed mate runs his long fingers through my hair, making small braids that were not held together with a hair tie.

"Mhm," I do as he asks, grabbing the blood bag from our dresser, handing it to him.

Domestic life was not one that I would ever think of having after life on the run. Things really were quite easy when you didn't have your abusive father ruining every chance at happiness you get. Even better, our mother could not come back from the dead, myself having memorized every spell in her grimoire before burning it. My coven would be the only one that knew her spells, and they would never use any of them unless absolutely necessary.

My mates had been spending every waking moment with me, giving me all the love and affection I could ever ask for. They were the only non-magical people allowed in the coven area, besides Kol of course, who had access through Kai. I hadn't realized just how much attention I wanted until it had been given to me.

"You okay?" Damon whispers into my ear, taking a sip of the blood that had been handed to him. I nod, even if he knew full well that I was lying. I needed someone to call me out on my bullshit before I spilled.

Damon gave me a look before kissing my head, turning off the T.V with his free hand. "No you aren't. Angel, what's wrong?"

Turning back around, I nuzzle myself into his chest, sighing and flopping out on him. My mate wraps his arms around me, letting me feel the comfort of his warmth. Why do you have to be so cozy? You're the pillow that I always wanted. The best pillow. My pillow. My best Damon pillow.

"What's bugging you, angel?" I groan at his insistent questioning. God, I wanted to tell him, but at the same time I didn't want to be a bother. Why tell people your problems when you can just sleep them away?

"Don't worry about me," Damon lets out a cry of protest and picks me off his chest, looking me in the eyes. A stern frown is situated on his face, cold and demanding. Underneath I could see the worry that plagued those icy blue eyes. Of course you're worried. You're my precious mate. Ugh, mates are the best and the worst. Why do you have to know me better than I know myself?

"I'll always worry about you, Astrid. No matter what is going on, I'm here and I want to make it better," my mate's hands reach up to my face, cupping my cheeks lovingly.

"I don't even know what's wrong, baby, but something is wrong. I can't tell what it is or where it's coming from, but it's here and it's just eating me alive," I finally spill. My mate kisses my cheek and pulls me back down to his chest. "I don't know what to do."

"How long has it been like this, angel?" God, I didn't know the answer to that. My whole life perhaps? Something was always lurking at the back of my mind, tearing away at my heart while we ran for our lives. It had gotten better, but it had come back. It was that dark feeling that something so bad is going to happen that you will never recover. I felt like I was drowning, but I couldn't see what was pulling my head underwater.

"Too long," It was the truth, complete and whole. What happens when it hits and I can't stop it? I don't even know what it is! I would give anything for someone to be able to tell me what is going to happen and give me advice on what to do about it.

"No matter what could happen, angel, you'll always have us all. Your family, your friends, your coven, and your mates. Nothing will take us away from you. I won't ever let it happen," A promise made by someone who didn't know what could happen. Paranoia from an Original who didn't know what it was like to really live, just survive.

"You don't know that, baby," Damon frowned again, "Anything could happen. I'm always right about this sort of crap and I wish that I wasn't. I could chalk it up to being anxious and paranoid but you ask any one of my siblings and they will tell you that I can sense when something bad is about to happen."

"Has there been any sign of the Gemini coven?"

God, how had I been so stupid. We had taken Kai out of the prison world to get the taste of freedom weeks ago. Witches can sense when other witches are near. God, I had always been able to know when Mikael's witches were after us. They're coming and I just...I was too stupid to notice it. What are we going to do? If we kill them, Kai may be free, but another person will lose their family. Yeah, they're evil and shit, but they could have kids and stuff. Kids don't deserve to be orphaned.

"Angel, Kol can handle all of the witches and warlocks from that coven easy peasy. You can as well. Hell, even Kai can now. He has the strength of an Original. Kol is his power source now and can't die. Just take a deep breath, angel, we will be able to handle this," Damon's words did little to ease my worries.

They were coming all along. We may have been able to divert their trail for a few weeks, but they would always come back. They want us all dead. All witches and warlocks at this point want us dead. Kai...Kai will have to face the family that left him for dead, that abused him for years and called it love.

Just like Mikael and Esther. We were the same. I had just not had the heart to break the way that he did. I was close, but I never did break the way he did.

"I don't want Kai to have to see them," my voice was low and started to break up, tears brimming in my eyes. "Not after all of this. Not like I had to face my own parents. He deserves better than this."

"We will take them down. Together. Always."

"And forever."