She is still my sister (Short story)

33 Part Story 100K Reads 3.9K Votes
D.U.R.R.I.Y.A By durriza Completed
What happens when Sarah’s prediction about her sister’s boyfriend comes true? Yes, he is dangerous.
    Marc (Lily’s boyfriend) is a self-centered and cunning vampire. When Sarah finds out about it and tries to convince her sister, Lily won’t believe it at all. One day, while coming back from work Sarah finds her sister not at home. Is this the end of everything? Or with the help of Sarah’s religious boyfriend, Dr. Luis, they will find her again?
You understand where your story is heading, which is a good thing :)
                                    Remember to edit your work.
                                    Also, there are parts that are rushed, and part's that I don't entirely understand.
                                    Try going through your work as someone who DIDN'T know what you were thinking would.
                                    Also, I'm not sure if you could get sued for being late to work....?
                                    
                                    Maybe check on some facts :)
                                    There are some typos and wrong tenses used, but you should pick that up when you get to editing :)
                                    
                                    Overall, it was an okay chapter :)
                                    A little more work, and it will grow :)
You understand where your story is heading, which is a good thing :)
                                    Remember to edit your work.
                                    Also, there are parts that are rushed, and part's that I don't entirely understand.
                                    Try going through your work as someone who DIDN'T know what you were thinking would.
                                    Also, I'm not sure if you could get sued for being late to work....?
                                    
                                    Maybe check on some facts :)
                                    There are some typos and wrong tenses used, but you should pick that up when you get to editing :)
                                    
                                    Overall, it was an okay chapter :)
                                    A little more work, and it will grow :)
You understand where your story is heading, which is a good thing :)
                                    Remember to edit your work.
                                    Also, there are parts that are rushed, and part's that I don't entirely understand.
                                    Try going through your work as someone who DIDN'T know what you were thinking would.
                                    Also, I'm not sure if you could get sued for being late to work....?
                                    
                                    Maybe check on some facts :)
                                    There are some typos and wrong tenses used, but you should pick that up when you get to editing :)
                                    
                                    Overall, it was an okay chapter :)
                                    A little more work, and it will grow :)
You understand where your story is heading, which is a good thing :)
                                    Remember to edit your work.
                                    Also, there are parts that are rushed, and part's that I don't entirely understand.
                                    Try going through your work as someone who DIDN'T know what you were thinking would.
                                    Also, I'm not sure if you could get sued for being late to work....?
                                    
                                    Maybe check on some facts :)
                                    There are some typos and wrong tenses used, but you should pick that up when you get to editing :)
                                    
                                    Overall, it was an okay chapter :)
                                    A little more work, and it will grow :)
You understand where your story is heading, which is a good thing :)
                                    Remember to edit your work.
                                    Also, there are parts that are rushed, and part's that I don't entirely understand.
                                    Try going through your work as someone who DIDN'T know what you were thinking would.
                                    Also, I'm not sure if you could get sued for being late to work....?
                                    
                                    Maybe check on some facts :)
                                    There are some typos and wrong tenses used, but you should pick that up when you get to editing :)
                                    
                                    Overall, it was an okay chapter :)
                                    A little more work, and it will grow :)
You understand where your story is heading, which is a good thing :)
                                    Remember to edit your work.
                                    Also, there are parts that are rushed, and part's that I don't entirely understand.
                                    Try going through your work as someone who DIDN'T know what you were thinking would.
                                    Also, I'm not sure if you could get sued for being late to work....?
                                    
                                    Maybe check on some facts :)
                                    There are some typos and wrong tenses used, but you should pick that up when you get to editing :)
                                    
                                    Overall, it was an okay chapter :)
                                    A little more work, and it will grow :)