Forever And Always Wolfstar Fluffy One Shots

Emotions?

Part three of Emotionless because I am officially invested in this series

 TW PLEASE READ: Anxiety, past abuse, smoking (weed), drug use, alcohol, past child abuse (mental physical and s*xual), nightmares, death, assassins, hinted s*xual abuse, mental illness, homophobia, talking about trauma, tell me if if need to add more

Just to get this right in case I've written it differently. Ages are: Remus: 18 Sirius: 19 James: 19 Lily: 18 

Starts pretty much right after the last one

~Remus' POV~

"Pads, Moody said as soon as possible-" I laugh as Sirius tries to drag me back into bed. He whines and clings to me like a koala. 

"Nope, I'm not moving." He huffs, nuzzling closer to my back. I just roll my eyes and lean back against him for a moment. I'm not going to lie, I really love feeling him next to me again. 

"Okay, fine, let's go," Sirius says, finally getting up. "You're too fucking cute to say no to, it's not fair." 

I get up as well and go to grab my shoes. "I know, right? I'm adorable." I pull my shoes on, then fix my hair. 

"Deadly and cute. The worst combination," Sirius teases, smoothing down his hair. 

"Don't forget sexy," I chuckle, and Sirius rolls his eyes. 

"Better throw modest in there too." He says with a fond smile, pulling me into a kiss by my waist. 

Sirius and I sit beside each other in front of Alastor's desk. He glances at me and laughs. I cock an eyebrow. 

"What?" I ask. Alastor calms himself down. 

"I think you'll learn very quickly that Sirius is more possessive than you think." He says, and I snatch Sirius by the back of his shirt before he can run.

"What did you do?" 

Sirius gives me that cheeky ass smirk and I sigh as he presses his thumb to what is probably a bruise on my neck. 

I pull my hood up and cross my arms. "Alright. What do you want, Alastor?"

Alastor gets a serious look on his face, and the whole energy of the room shifts. "I have a job for you two."

"Well fuck, haven't you noticed that never goes well? It's like we're in a damn book or something." Sirius says, pulling my hood down. I roll my eyes. 

"When and where?" I ask. 

"That's the thing." Alastor says. "It's two different places at the same time, but you're still going to be working side by side. See, Barty, his parents are death eaters and we've gotten some valuable information out of him. The problem is, they're divorced and live across the country from each other." 

"What exactly are you asking us to do?" Sirius asks, but we're both thinking the same thing. 

We just got back together and now we have to go on missions across the country from each other. 

"I want you to spy on them and collect as much information as you can. You leave in a week and you'll be gone for a month. I'll get to you with the details." 

We both nod and head out of the room. Sirius looks pissed, which is warranted. I glance around and then slide my arm around his shoulders. 

"It'll be fine, Ri." I say, but Sirius just kicks something resembling a rock, making it skid across the floor. 

"Yeah sure, but it's going to fucking suck." He mutters. I roll my eyes and scoop him up into my arms, laughing when he squeals. I start heading back to the library. 

"Of course it will. But we have a week, and I fully intend to do this boyfriend thing right this time." 

Sirius relaxes a little, something very rare for an assassin. "There's no right way to love someone, moony. You were doing just fine the first time." 

"Well, this time I'm not going to give you up. How's that?" I drop Sirius on the window sill and he giggles, pulling on my wrist until I fall on top of him. 

"That sounds perfect." Sirius says, his grey eyes burning with something that makes my insides melt. 

Then we're kissing again. You know, I've kissed a lot of boys. None of them have been even almost as good as Sirius. It's like we're just meant to be together, meant to fit together like puzzle pieces. 

Well fuck, that was corny. But, it was apprvopriate. I've never clicked with anyone they way I have with Sirius. He's so loud and happy and fucking... Healed. He's not broken like I am, at least he hides it better. 

"You're thinking too much, cherié," Sirius murmurs, one of his hands holding my hip and the other on my neck. 

"I always think too much, it's my shtick."  I say, rolling off of Sirius to pull him to my chest. He sighs and looks up at me, tucking an arm around my waist. 

"I've got to go, I have to work in the nursery." Sirius says, kissing me on the cheek before sitting up. 

"Aw come on, it's special circumstances!" I say, sitting up and wrapping Sirius up in my arms. He rolls his eyes. 

"I happen to know that my favorite whiney baby has guard duty today," Sirius says. I huff indignantly and lay my head awkwardly on his shoulder. 

"How do you know?" 

Sirius gestures to the lighter on the small table beside the window sill. "You forgot to put your lighter away,"

"Alastor put me on graveyard shift. I was just planning on taking a nap before you decided to show up, because my over thinking ass can't seem to sleep lately."

Sirius stands up and kisses my forehead. "Well, you get some sleep and I'll bring you dinner, sound good?"

"Sounds great," I say, tilting my chin up so he kisses my lips instead of my forehead. 

~Sirius' POV, later~

I walk into the library rubbing my eye, holding a plate of food for Remus because I decided to eat with James and Peter. 

I'm just about to announce my presence when I spot Remus. He's on the window sill of course, tangled up in a blanket with his Carmel curls splayed across the pillow. He's asleep, perfect lips slightly parted and his freckles on display. Not for the first time, I think about the fact that Remus is only eighteen. He acts so much older, it's hard to see him as a teenager. 

I set the plate down on a table and take my boots off before before padding over to the window and laying beside Remus (I'm on the outside for once). 

For a few moments, I just watch him. He's the most relaxed I've ever seen him, even if he is still tense when he's asleep. But.. It's nice to see him with his guard down for once. I can tell he tries not to stay in his head when he's with me, but it's hard to unlearn a habit. 

I reach up and gently push Remus' hair out of his eyes. "Moony.." I  whisper, making Remus whine. I smile, kissing his cheek. "Good morning, Cherié," 

"Nmn.." Remus mumbles a little, hiding his face in the pillow. My heart nearly fucking combusts, why is he so goddamn cute? 

"Come on love, I brought food~" I croon. Remus is a surprisingly heavy sleeper. 

Remus shifts again and tucks his arm sloppily around my waist, nuzzling his face into my chest. He mumbles something along the lines of 'Rwy'n dy garu di', which is probably just gibberish but might be Welsh. I don't really care. All I know is I have the cutest, most deadly boyfriend in the world. 

I run my fingers slowly through Remus' curls, watching his lashes flutter as he starts to wake up. I get a glimpse of amber eyes before Remus is pulling back as his cheeks flush. 

"I'm sorry-" He stumbles over his words, hiding his face with his hands. I just smile. 

"Re, I'm your person. You're allowed to cuddle me, you dork." I chuckle, sitting up. Remus groans and pulls the blanket over his head. 

"Not like thaaat!" He whines, as I walk over to get his food.

"Like what?" I ask, yanking the blanket back down and giving my cranky wolf his food. 

"I'm not a little spoon. " He pouts. I roll my eyes. 

"Just because you want to be held sometimes doesn't mean you're a little spoon. Just because I like to hold you sometimes doesn't mean I'm a big spoon. Alright?" I say, pulling my hoodie down over my knees. 

"It's unprofessional." 

"It's /necessary/." Remus cocks an eyebrow at me, and I cross my arms. "You're exhausted, Rem. I can tell you haven't slept in days. If all it takes is some head pats and cuddles for you to sleep, I'm going to pat your head. Are we clear?" 

Remus looks away from me. "Yes." He says begrudgingly as he flicks a pea at me. I smile and lean over to kiss his cheek. 

"Good." 

We talk and throw peas at each other for about a half an hour, painfully aware that Remus has to leave in twenty minutes. 

Remus sets his plate to the side and I lean forward, grabbing him by the shoulder to pull him into a kiss. What? If we only get a week together before we're separated then I'm sure as hell going to get as many kisses as I can. 

Remus pulls me in by my waist, his other hand pushing up under my hoodie. I wrap my arms fully around his neck, moving to straddle his lap when his hand slides down to my thigh. 

"You're so fucking beautiful." Remus' voice is low and warm, one of his hands coming up to oh so gently tuck my hair behind my ear. Is it cliche? Maybe. But I don't care. I love him. 

I take in Remus' mussed up hair and pretty flushed cheeks and I can't help but smile as I frame his face in my hands. 

"And you're devastatingly sexy, quit stating the obvious and kiss me." I say, but the words he said settle in my heart. Remus lays me down while we kiss once again, hands in hair and on waists or hips, and legs wrapped around waists. 

Remus kisses my cheek and down my jaw. I want to move and contribute as well, but it just feels so damn good and I'm focusing on not moaning. It's not a hard thing to do by now, but it's like every time Remus touches me I'm going to jizz my pants. 

I have to bite my tongue when remus kisses just under my ear and bolts of white hot pleasure shoot through every nerve in my system. I must have jumped too, because he chuckles softly against my neck. 

"For a guy who's supposed to be stoic in bed you're pretty sensitive, mêl," He laughs, and I can feel my cheeks heating up. Bastard. 

"It's different," I mutter, a soft gasp fighting it's way out of my mouth when Remus bites my pulse point. "I love you."

"I thought you were going to say I know what I'm doing, but that works too," Remus says with a teasing grin as he kisses my lips once again. My eyes fall closed and I almost protest, but it just feels so good and I can hardly think. My fingers tangle in Remus' curls as he tilts his head to deepen the kiss. 

"I have to go," Remus whispers, pulling away. I'll never admit to the whiney noise that leaves my mouth as I cling to Remus tighter. 

~Remus' POV~

I smile fondly as I look down at Sirius. "Someone's tired," I tease, and Sirius scowls at me. 

I lay beside Sirius, gathering him up against my chest. He curls up against my chest, yawning like a little kitten. I cant help but smile, he's so soft and cute. 

"Just stay," He whines. "Please?" I sigh, wishing I could stay. He always gets so dazed and cuddly after make out sessions, I have no idea why people think he's stoic in bed. 

"Why don't you stay here, okay?" I kiss Sirius' temple. "I'll be back around three, and you'd better be asleep when I get here." 

Sirius presses a chaste kiss to my lips, then curls up again. I smile and get up, pulling a blanket up over him. 

I pull on my shoes and go to leave, but Sirius stops me. "Aren't you going to smoke?"

I pause, thinking about it for a moment. "You know what, I don't think I need to." 

~Later~

I feel a hand prod my shoulder and I jump, pulling out one of my earbuds. "Touch me one more fucking time and I'll stab you in the retina." I snap at my father. We have to let the prisoners out of their bonds once a day for twenty minutes, Lyall's time just so happens to be now. I don't think we should, but it's something about being more civil than the Death Eaters or some shit. 

"Woah! Touchy. I've been trying to talk to you for ten minutes, what the hell?" 

I roll my eyes. "Hm. Maybe that's why I'm wearing my earbuds you dumb bastard." I mutter. 

"I just want to know how that other boy is doing, Remus. That kid he was with is bad news. I know his folks."

"You only want to know how he's doing because you think he's hot you fucking pervert. The second you saw him you wanted to fuck him, even if he was kicking and screaming. Oh wait, that never bothered you anyway." Lyall's doesn't answer, and I sigh. "I scared the piss out of Barty and now Sirius is my boyfriend." 

That seems to satisfy him. "Well, you're a fag but at least you have a backbone." 

"Call me that again." I look up at Lyall, and I don't feel like a little kid. A burning anger tears through my chest. 

Holy shit. I'm not scared.

"What, a fag? You are."

 That's it. 

I'm not quite sure what happens for ten minutes after that, because I black out. The next think I know I'm being drug off of Lyall by the back of my jacket. 

Fuck, it's hot in here. Why am I so hot? Who the hell is touching me anyway? Oh, it's Alastor. He's talking, too, but it's static in my ears. I'm so high on adrenaline I barely even notice the ache spreading through my hands and back. 

Alastor drags me to the infirmary. I protest, but he doesn't really care. I still can't seem to focus enough to listen to the actual words he's saying, though. My whole body is just vibrating with energy. 

Alastor pushes me onto a bed and I drag a hand through my hair, closing my eyes as I try to calm down. 

The first clear words that I actually understand are a soft spoken "Oh, Moony." While a very gentle hand touches my cheek. Oh, fun. 

That was Sirius. 

~Sirius' POV~

I wander the halls as I wait for Remus' shift to end, not wanting to go to sleep but not wanting him to know I'm awake. 

I lean over the rail to look into the cafeteria and I hear a commotion going on in the room off to the side, where we hold our hostages. Oh, no.. 

Alastor drags a red faced, dazed looking Remus out of the room and up the stairs, on the way to the infirmary. 

Alastor gives me a look and I follow without a question. 

I look Remus over closer and realized he's not embarrassed. He's /livid/. His knuckles are bleeding so bad that his sweatshirt sleeves are red, and there are a couple of red splotches on his shirt. His lip is split as well, and there's a bruise forming on his cheek bone. Even so, it's clear that he won the fight he got into and he knows it. 

When we get to the infirmary, Alastor pushes Remus down none to gently onto a bed. 

"What did he do?" I ask, pulling my hair up. Alastor sighs. 

"His dad must have got to him, because he got mad enough to beat the shit out of him." Alastor sighs. "The kid has a short temper, but I've never seen him look like that before." 

I nod. "You'd be surprised what a boy is capable of when he's been hurt, Alastor. He could barely even look at Lyall a week ago. He finally snapped. You can't expect him to just sit back and take the abuse every time he has a shift." I say, crossing my arms. 

Alastor nods. "I know, Sirius. Just go fix him, I have to make sure Lyall's not dead." He leaves, and I turn to Remus. He's not as red now, but theres blood in his hair either from a cut or from him messing with it, either is likely. 

There's a strange look in his eyes. They're glassy, like he's going to cry, but at the same time distant and cold. 

"Oh, Moony." I whisper, reaching up to put my hand on Remus' cheek. He flinches back slightly on instinct, but then leans very tentatively into my hand. He closes his eyes, and very quietly asks, 

"What did I do?" Remus doesn't open his eyes as he speaks. I sit beside him and wrap my arm around his waist. 

~Remus' POV~

Sirius gently nudges me until he's leaning on the wall and I'm curled up with my head on his shoulder. I keep my eyes shut, because everything is too loud and too bright right now. 

Sirius gently takes one of my hands and cleans up my knuckles, that are probably bleeding. He makes me flex my wrist, then does the same with the other arm. Being able to focus on his touches really helps me calm down. I still can't open my eyes, but at least my brain isn't telling me to fight anymore. 

"You freaked Alastor out," Sirius says, and I chuckle a little. 

"I freaked me out. I don't even know what happened, I blacked out." I smile weakly when I feel Sirius' gentle fingers carding through my hair. 

"I think you may have just had a different type of panic attack then you're used to." Sirius says, pulling gently at a tangled curl. 

"But I wasn't scared," I reply. "I was just.. Mad." 

"I don't know, Cherié." Sirius gently squeezes my arm. "But I know he deserved it." 

I hide my face in Sirius' shoulder, opening my eyes just a little but closing them quickly. "Hell yeah he did." I mutter. Sirius laughs softly, kissing the top of my head. 

"Alright, Love. Sit up so I can see the back of your head, you're bleeding." 

"Mm. That's why I'm light headed." I sit up, slowly starting to open my eyes and reintroduce myself to light. 

Sirius cleans up what's probably a cut on the back of my head and I sigh as I fuzzily start to remember what happened. 

"I think- I think it was a table. He hit my head on a table." I mumble, trying not to wince. Sirius kisses the back of my neck and hugs me from behind, resting his chin on my shoulder. 

"So you do know what happened?" He asks, and I shake my head. 

"Not really, just fuzzy bits and pieces." I mumble. 

~Sirius' POV~

I hold Remus gently against my chest, not wanting to scare him by squeezing him too hard. 

"Poppy said you don't have to stay here," I murmur softly. "You should shower, then get some sleep."

Remus leans a little bit more on my chest. He's so tired, poor baby. "That's probably a good idea," He mumbles, rubbing his eye like a little kid. 

"Alright then. You go do that, and I'm gonna wrap up your shift," I kiss remus' cheek and get up. 

Remus grabs my hand and stands up, pulling me into a tight hug. I wrap my arms around his neck. 

"That was unexpected," I chuckle, putting my hand on Remus' cheek. "You okay?" 

A smile curves at Remus' lips. "You make me okay." There's a beautiful little sparkle in his eyes as he pulls me close by my waist. I lean my forehead against his chest to hide my grin. 

"I love you too, Moonbeam." 

~Remus' POV~

I step into into shower, finally feeling normal apart from the ache in my back and hands. My head doesn't hurt too bad, but it probably will in the morning. 

I run my fingers through my hair and tilt my head back, thinking. This is why I broke up with Sirius in the first place. I'm unpredictable and violent, and he's just so sweet. He didn't even question me, he was immediately on my side. That scares me. What if I accidentally hurt him and he takes my side again? What if he's actually scared of me but won't talk about it just like mum?

I rinse the conditioner out of my hair, biting the inside of my cheek to ground myself. Sirius knows how to defend himself. This is just as much me trusting him as it is him trusting me. But what if I don't trust myself? How does that work? 

Why does being in a relationship have to be so fucking difficult?

I step out of the shower and grab a towel, drying my hair very carefully and trying not to look at the scars that cross my torso. Sure, all assassins have scars. Mine are just... Worse. 

I pull on a pair of shorts and a baggy T-shirt, rubbing my eye. I look awful, I really need to sleep. At the very least I need to hide it better. 

I stumble down the hall barely awake, making my way to the library. 

~A while later, Sirius' POV~

I walk into the library around three A.M. Remus is awake and reading a book, but not a normal book. I walk forward carefully so I don't disturb him. I love seeing Remus all relaxed and candid, not trying to cover up his emotions. 

"You shouldn't be awake," I say, making Remus jump. I'm known for being very light footed. Hence the name Padfoot. 

"Neither should you, but here we are." Remus counters, closing the book very gently. I sit beside him on the window sill. 

"What's that?" I ask, and Remus moves his hand to show me the word on the front. It says Hope in really pretty handwriting. 

"Is it your mum's?" I ask, and Remus nods. 

"I have her phone, too, but I can't bring myself to look through it." He rubs his neck and tucks the journal away. He wraps his arm around me and I smile. I curl up against his side, loving the feeling of his arm around my waist. 

"You smell good," I mumble, and Remus laughs. His fingers tap out a steady rythym on my hip, probably just a reflex by now. 

"I'm also a little less covered in blood, thanks for noticing." Remus responds, his voice soft and fond. I can feel myself relax just with those words. Hearing Remus sound so open and gentle just makes me feel so... I don't know. 

"I think you're hot as hell covered in blood," I say with a teasing smirk, snaking my arms lightly around Remus' waist. 

"That's not normal, Mêl." Remus chuckles, kissing the top of my head. I feel my cheeks head up slightly as I hide my face in his chest. 

"We're not normal," I mumble, fighting back a yawn. Wow, I'm actually tired. "Bed time." 

"You're adorable when you're sleepy, you know it?" Remus crawls over me and pushes me closer to the window before lying down, wrapping his arm around my back. I turn to face him, reaching up to push his hair out of his face. There's a small, faint scar above his eyebrow that's usually hidden by his bangs. I lean up and kiss that scar, then tilt my head and kiss his lips. 

"I'm not adorable." I mutter, my eyes falling closed as Remus pushes his fingers through my hair. Damn him, he's not supposed to know all of my weak spots yet. "I'm mean *yawn* and dangerous." I curl up and nestle my face into Remus' chest as he continues to play with my hair, making me impossible more sleepy. 

"I know you are, Angel." 

~two or so hours later, Sirius' POV~

I wake up freezing from the cold, too lazy to move for a few moments. Then, I realize that Remus isn't beside me. I open my eyes slightly and glance around, pulling the blanket up to my chin. My breath catches in my chest when I see Remus. 

He's sitting closer to the window sill with the window itself open, one leg bent and the other hanging over the side. The moon lights up his face in a mysterious and dark way that really fits his character. It makes me smile because I'm certain that no one has ever seen him look like this. But it also worries me. 

I sit up very carefully so Remus doesn't hear me, not sure what I'm going to do for a moment. Then, I very slowly and gently move Remus' arm and cuddle up against his side. It takes Remus a moment of confusion, but he wraps his arm around my waist. 

"Sorry, did I wake you up?" He asks, and I shake my head. 

"It's fine. Did you have a nightmare?" I hold Remus' other hand between both of mine. He shrugs. 

"Yeah, it seems like I cant go an hour without having a nightmare lately." He sounds so tired and defeated, poor baby. 

"Well, having Lyall so close by certainly isn't helping. You could have woke me up, you know." I murmur, not wanting to talk too loud. Remus shakes his head. 

"It's not like you sleep regularly either, Mêl. I didn't want to bother you," He mumbles, his voice guarded. My chest aches at that because he usually tries not to do that with me. 

I slide my arms around Remus' torso and press a kiss to his shoulder. "Let's go for a drive." 

"What?" There's almost a laugh in Remus' voice. "It's five am, Sirius." 

"So?" I hug remus tighter, coaxing a soft hum out of him. "Car rides help you relax, and I'm up now." 

Remus sighs and pulls me closer to his side. "You should go back to sleep though." He murmurs against the top of my head. I shake my head and tilt my head back to kiss Remus gently on the lips. 

"I'll sleep when I'm dead, Re." I smile and get up, pulling on Remus' hand. "C'mon!" 

~a little bit later, Sirius' PoV~

I pull Remus to the car by his sleeve. He drags his feet, protesting the whole time. 

"Don't be a party pooper, come on!" I press up on my toes and wrap my arms around Remus' neck. "You have to relax, my Moony." I curl my fingers into Remus' hair and pull him down into a kiss. 

Remus sighs and begrudgingly reaches out to hold my waist, pulling me against him. I smile as much as I can. He makes me feel so warm and loved, it shouldn't even be legal. I've never felt like this with any of my other boyfriends or hookups. Maybe I'm just healing mentally. Or, being with Remus is just... Right. 

I can help but break away to giggle when Remus pushes me up against the car. "We don't have time for this!" I laugh as Remus bites at my neck. "You can't avoid sleep, Remus Howell!" 

"I think the fuck I can, Black." Remus bites down a little sharper on my pulse point and I cover my mouth, wow that was hot. "Besides," Remus pulls back and puts his arm above my head, pushing my hair behind my ear with the other arm. My knees nearly go weak at the look in his eyes. Sure, I know he's hot, but this is a whole new level. "You started it." 

I stare up into those big, intelligent amber eyes and I can hardly think. I don't even try to speak, because I can barely think a coherent thought let alone form a complete sentence. He leans down close to my ear, his hand still resting on my neck, and whispers lowly. 

"Think about this next time you call me cute, my Dear." His voice is low and even, and I have to brace myself against the car to stay standing. For fucks sake, what's the matter with me? I'm out of breath and he's barely touched me. 

Remus looks me up and down and smirks. "You're adorable, you know." He says with a little laugh that makes my cheeks flush. I pull up my hood and wrap my arms around his waist so I can hide my face in his chest. 

"M' not adorable!" I protest, pulling away after a moment. "Now get in the damn car before I have to kill you!" 

Remus just laughs. "Aww, you're so cute when you act tough," He croons, and I push him playfully in the chest before walking around the car to get in the drivers seat. 

Remus slides into the seat beside me, still laughing. I roll my eyes. 

"You /are/ cute." I say, reaching over to pull Remus closer to me. "You're just also very hot and I happen to be weak for it." I add. Remus giggles, fucking giggles, and cuddles up to my side. How does he do that? 

"Of course you're weak for it, I'm hot as hell." Remus smirks, even as he nuzzles his face into my shoulder. I just sigh and lean my head against his. 

"How do you go from making me unable to breathe to a cute little baby? I must know your secrets." I chuckle, and Remus just snorts. 

"It's a takent, my darling." He hums, tucking his knees up to his chest. "And, well, maybe the fact that you make me feel.." He trails off, either getting distracted or trying to find a word. I mean, I would understand either way. It's hard for me to explain how Remus generally makes me feel in one word, and I'm a talker. Remus is the type of person that has to think out everything that he says and does, it's one of the things I love most about him. 

We drive for a couple more minutes, and I think Remus has fallen asleep when he finally finishes his thought. 

~Remus' POV~

I think for a few moments, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath as I search for a word. How does Sirius make me feel. Infuriated? Almost always, with his constant talking. Anxious? Of course, he's a fucking menace to himself and others. But.. Those are only on occasions. What does he make me feel all the time. 

I think back to times previous, times that Sirius just had to touch my arm to make me able to breathe again. Times when he drops everything he's doing to make sure he bothers me every night. When I was having a panic attack and pulled a knife on him but he didn't get scared, he stayed with me. When he said he loved me and I blew him off, but he took me back anyway. 

When I woke up terrified from a nightmare and all Sirius had to do was shift and mumble for me to back away from the edge of panic. 

Oh, my God. 

"Safe." My heart skips a beat just saying the word. I /never/ feel safe. I'm never safe, why in the hecc would a 5'8 chaotic gremlin make me feel safe? 

~Sirius' POV~ 

My heart stops when Remus finally finishes his thought. Safe. I make him feel safe. I don't believe it, I must have misheard him. Remus is so deeply guarded and hardened by emotional trauma.. He can't.. I can't.. That can't be right.. 

Right? 

"What did you say?" I ask, sounding like I just got punched in the throat. Remus covers his mouth and pulls the hood of his hoodie up. 

"Nothing." He says, muffled by his hand. "I didn't say anything." 

"No," I stop at a stop sign and turn a little, pulling Remus' hood down. "You said I make you feel safe." 

I look into Remus' eyes that were hard and dark earlier, now shining with tears. Poor baby, he doesn't know how to feel safe, let alone talk about it. In this moment I realize how hard this must actually be for Remus. He's gone basically his whole life with no sense of security and no soft place to land, he's had to only rely on himself since he was just a kid. 

And then I showed up. Suddenly, someone loves him unconditionally for the first time since his mum died and he doesn't understand how to have someone to support him. I fucked up his whole lifestyle and even though it's a good feeling, he doesn't know how to cope with it. 

"Oh, Baby.." I whisper, cupping Remus' cheek in my palm. He leans into my hand even as tears slowly slip down his cheeks and his fingers tremble on his knee. He's so scared. 

I lean forward and press a soft kiss to Remus' forehead, pulling back after a few long moments. 

"I love you." I whisper softly, not wanting to scare Remus by talking too loud. He rubs his eye with his sweater paw and gives me a wobbly smile, pulling me into a tight hug that makes my heart nearly beat out of my chest. I wrap my arms tight around Remus' waist and pull him close, turning my head just slightly to kiss his temple. 

"Dwi'n dy garu di mwy." Remus whispers against my neck. I'm not sure if he knew he was speaking in Welsh or not, but either way I know what he meant. 

We pull back after a few moments and I run my fingers through Remus' hair to fix it the way he likes, even though I like it better fluffy. "You know, your brain chose a terribly destructive person to find comfort in." I say, and Remus laughs, covering his face with his sweater paws. 

"I know!" He grumbles a little as he wipes the last of his tears, grinning at me. "Now quit making me cry and drive." He sniffles a little and I wrap my arm around his shoulders, starting to drive again. 

Remus settles down under my arm, reaching up to hold my hand on his shoulder. I bite the inside of my cheek. Normally Remus would complain about me being too touchy. 

We drive for I don't know how long until Remus falls asleep. It isn't very long, though, and the silence is actually quite comforting for once. The sound of Remus' slow, easy breathing really lowers my general anxiety level and helps me relax. 

When I finally check the clock, it's seven and the sun is beginning to rise. Remus is sleeping against my shoulder, his legs splayed out across the seat. I park the car on a pretty, quiet little hill and just look at him with a soft smile. He's just so beautiful when he sleeps. That's the only word to describe him really. The sunrise lights up his face with a gentle orange glow, making his eyelashes cast shadows on his cheeks. His freckles are so much more prominent in this light, and his hair practically glows amber with red undertones in the sun. 

I shift a little until I can lean against the door and Remus can cuddle into my chest, which he does with a soft hum. I smile and watch the sunrise, carding my fingers through Remus' hair. He shifts around and mumbles every couple of minutes, but it's normal for an assassin to sleep uneasily. 

After about two hours of blissful silence and five minute long 'blinks', Remus wakes up with a sharp gasp. He's instantly reaching for his knife. 

"Remus, it's okay." I say, my voice firm but soothing. He needs to know that he's being taken care of, I can't be too gentle with him. 

Remus pauses at my voice, but he's still trembling and worrying his bottom lip. I smile and push his hair back before pulling him back to my chest. That relaxes him just a little, but he's still tense and scared. So, I gently take one of his hands and put it on my chest, while my other hand rests on his back. 

"Breathe, Moony." I murmur against the top of remus' head. He moves his hand just slightly and I know what he's doing, because I do it to. It helps ground me when I can feel someone else's heart beat. 

"This has got to stop, it's going to push me over the edge." Remus finally grumbles after a couple of minutes. I sigh softly and rub Remus' back in slow circles. 

"How often are they?" I ask, and Remus doesn't look me in the eyes when he answers. 

"Once a night, usually. More if I go back to sleep. I can't wake up normally anymore, I either wake up crying or so anxious I can't breathe." He buries his face in my chest. "It's stupid, right? I only used to get nightmares every few days." 

"It's not stupid," I say, much to Remus' dismay. "You're stressed out of your mind, Re. The reason for most of your nightmares is right down the hall, we had been separated, you've got emotions you don't know how to deal with, and now we're going to be separated from each other for a month. You have a lot on your plate, the nightmares are probably increased because you're so stressed out." I fluff Remus' hair up and nearly smile when he huffs in annoyance, but doesn't move to fix it. 

"But I've had more than that on my plate before and my nightmares have never been this bad." He sighs, looking up at me with pouty, tired amber eyes. I look back at him, wishing I knew how to help. 

"You could try my sleeping pills, but they don't really help nightmares," I say, and Remus shakes his head. he sits up and stretches, rubbing his eyes and making my mouth water. 

"I'll be fine." Remus says, yawning widely. "Did you get any more sleep?" He asks, and I shrug. 

"No, but it doesn't really bother me." I say, turning to sit in my seat properly. "I like watching the sunrise," I say with a smile, and Remus rolls his eyes. 

"Quit spewing that artsy bullshit, you'll make my ears bleed." He teases, rolling down the window to stick his arm out.

"Sure, Mr. "Reads books for fun" Howell." I counter, and Remus laughs. 

"Theres a difference! I have an unquenchable thirst for knowledge, and you're an adorable punk that has no right to be that cute!" He says, propping his feet up on the dash. 

Remus sighs after a moment. "Moody's been texting me for an hour, we're in deep shit." 

I shrug. "Why? He taught us to steal too well, if anything he should he proud of us." I say, glancing at the mirror so I can fix my hair. "Besides, we didn't miss any shifts or anything." 

"I know." Remus sighs and sets his phone back down. "What if we just don't go back? I didn't answer Alastor. We could just avoid reality and go back when we want." He yawns, rubbing his eye sleepily and I just can't resist, I'm so weak for him. 

"You're sexy when you break rules, you know." I give Remus the wink™, and he laughs. 

"Our whole existence is based off of breaking rules, Siri,"  Remus says with that sly smile that makes me feel like I'm going to barf up a butterfly. 

"Alright, fine. I have a job tonight though, see we have to be home sometime." I say, making a sparkle gleam in Remus' eye. He's acting different today, I think maybe us talking last night helped him open up, if even just a little. 

"Okay," Remus agrees, "what do you want to do?" 

I think for a moment. "I mean, I've been wanting to get another tattoo for about a month now. You want to come with me and hold my hand?" I suggest, and I can practically hear Remus flushing. 

"You have tattoos?" He asks, slightly breathless, and I smile. 

"Yeah, maybe if you'd get me naked you'd know." That one really does make him choke, poor baby. 

"The hell are you trying to do, kill me?" 

"Baby, if I was trying to kill you, you wouldn't know"

~

"Okay, but like, where are your other tattoos?" Remus asks as we wait in the waiting room of the tattoo parlor. I roll my eyes. 

"That ruins the fun of you discovering them, my dear Moony." I say, balancing a note pad on my leg to give the artist an idea of what I want. It's just Moony in Ancient runes, but still. 

"But the anticipation!!" Remus whines. I roll my eyes, working out the detail in the lettering. 

"I don't care, Re. I told you, if you'd get me naked you'd know." I laugh at Remus' impatient groan. Cute ass. 

"Will you at least tell me what they are?" He asks, watching me draw with an intenseness that makes my cheeks burn. I'm not sure why, because everything Remus does is intense and well thought out. 

"I have four, and that is all I'm going to tell you. Now chill out and tell me if that line is straight or not," 

~

Remus is still bothering me as I get the new tattoo on my shoulder blade. 

"Christ Moony, if you be quiet for two minutes I'll show you one." I finally give Remus an incentive to shut him the hell up as I trace patterns on his palm to distract myself. Needles don't usually bother me, but since Lyall drugged me I'm just a tiny bit apprehensive. It doesn't even hurt that bad. 

The artist steps off for a couple of minutes and I sit up on my elbow to show Remus the inside of my forearm. There's a constellation in the middle of my arm with a small arrow labeling the star Regulus. 

"Woah," Remus traces the lines very lightly and I smile, admiring how gentle he can be. 

"It's Leo, Reg's constellation. I got it on my eighteenth birthday as an act of rebellion and just ended up making myself sad," I explain as I settle back down. Remus listens closely. 

"Well, I think it's really cool. Also, why have I never seen your arm before?"

I shrug. "I wear hoodies." 

~

"Bitchin'," I say with a smirk as I look at my new tattoo in the mirror. It's just what I wanted, with a thick black outline and a Navy blue moon in the background and a matching star on the other side. 

"Just between you and me, what exactly does it say?" The artist asks as I put my shirt back on. I smile and glance at Remus. 

"Moony. It's the nickname I came up with for one of my close friends. He hates it, but I like it," 

"Did you just call me your friend?" Remus asks with crossed arms. I bite my lip, ready to take off running. 

"No, I called you my 'close friend'," I giggle, and I know I'm going to pay for that one. 

Well, good thing I paid for the tattoo in advance, because I'm running for my life. 

"Sir! We have to wrap up your shoulder!" The artist calls after me, but I'm already jumping into the car and being attacked by a rabid moony. He tickles my ribs and I can't stop the girly screams that leave my throat as I try to get him off of me. 

"Say you're sorry!" Remus says, kissing all over my face. I squirm around. 

"Never!" 

He doubles the efforts in tickling me and I'll never, ever admit to the squeal that fights it's way out of my mouth. 

"Fuck- FINE! I'm sorry!" I say, and Remus instantly stops, gathering me up into his arms and being very careful of my shoulder. 

"Call me your friend again and it'll be so much worse." He says, even as he starts to mark up my neck. I giggle and try to push him away. 

"Get offfff!" I whine, but Remus just pulls me closer. 

"S' your fault for wearing a shirt that's too big, I've been staring at your fuckin' neck all day." Remus mumbles and I just sigh, letting him do what he wants. I kind of like the idea of having his marks all over me. 

I settle myself on Remus' lap and hug his neck, tilting my head to the side. "Re quit, just cuddle me," I murmur, and Remus relents. I smile and nuzzle into his chest. Gosh, I think I might agree with him in the feeling safe category. Every time I'm with him my inhibitions are yeeted out the window. 

"It's really not a good idea to get your boyfriend's name tattooed on you," Remus says, pushing his fingers oh so gently through my hair. I shrug, trying not to wince at the still burning pain in my shoulder. 

"No one would know but me. Besides, I wanted to get it even when we weren't together. You resemble an important time in my life, mentally and emotionally. Everything that we've been through together, it warrants a permanent reminder." I explain, closing my eyes as Remus rubs my back in gentle circles. I decide to keep talking, because Remus has a tendency to fidget when he's concentrated and I have some knots in my back that will /not/ go away. 

"All of my tattoos represent something. Like the constellation represents reg, and I have a schematic of my knife on my calf that's for being an assassin." I stop talking and smirk when Remus groans. 

"Just tell me!" He whines, and I get up to settle myself back into the drivers seat. 

"I told you what to do, all you have to do is follow my directions." I say with a smirk. "Now we need to get home, I have to clean up my shoulder and get ready to go." 

"Fiine," Remus pouts, crossing his arms. "I'll just get to know your tattoos the first chance I get." He reaches over to put his hand on my thigh and I have to will myself not to flush. 

"I'll tell you that that chance is not right now." I say, as Remus' hand travels to my inner thigh. I bite my lip. 

"Are you sure? Because you look like you're lying."  

I roll my eyes. "I dunno," I reply, intending just to be coy, but Remus moves his hand immediately. 

"No seriously, did that make you uncomfortable?" I glance over at Remus and he looks genuinely concerned. Shit. 

"It's alright, baby. I'll tell you if I'm uncomfortable. I'm a loud mouth bitch, don't worry." I lean over to kiss Remus' cheek. "Besides, you're too careful to hurt me."

"Yeah," Remus rubs his neck. "I'm sorry, I just don't want to fuck anything up." He settles against my side, and I wrap my arm around his waist. 

"I know. But I also know that you won't mess anything up, because I know that you love me. And I know you're trying." I kiss the top of Remus' head, squeezing him encouragingly. 

~That night~

"Holy fuck." Is all Remus says when I walk into the common area in my disguise. 

"Dork," I tease. It's just Remus and James, so I'm not worried about people looking at me. People looking at me that I don't want looking at me, that is. Remus just watches me, biting his lip. 

"You look.. You're leaving the building like that?!" Remus' cheeks and neck are red, his knuckles white on the glass he's holding. I walk over and lean down to kiss his cheek. 

"Like what?" I ask, feigning innocence. Remus pulls me into his lap by my bare waist, exposed because of my black crop top. 

"Like a cute little baby that won't be able to defend himself because he's not wearing enough clothes to hide a weapon." Remus replies, and rightfully so. "And it's the middle of February, you're going to get cold." He continues, wrapping his jacket around me. He's probably right, but I just think he wants a part of him to be with me- as if the hickeys I spent twenty minutes covering weren't enough. I chuckle and sit up. 

"I'm dressed like this because that's what the guy's file said. Short skirt, blue because it's calming. Black shirt, boots, and socks because he likes punks. There's a knife in an inside pocket in my skirt, poison in one boot and another knife in the other." I Boop Remus' nose. "Don't test me." 

Remus sighs. "I just don't like the thought of you going on another poison job." He says, worrying at his lip. Ah, so that's why he's worried. 

"I'll be fine. These jobs are routine for me. Just because one job went wrong doesn't mean all jobs will go wrong," I kiss Remus' cheek, then get up. "Je T'aime, Mon Prince. I'll see you later," I flash Remus a cheesy smile before heading off. 

~Remus' POV~

"Mate, you're going to break that damn glass." James says. I sigh and set the glass that I have in my hand down. 

"He's going to get hurt. I- Fuck, do you get this worried about Lily?" I ask, burying my face in my hands. James chuckles. We've been getting closer recently, since we're the two people Sirius spends the most time with. Turns out, James isn't as much of an asshole that I thought he was. 

"Near constantly." James says, refilling my glass. "No, it doesn't get better. No, it doesn't help if you go with him. You're always going to worry about his safety because he's your other half and you can't even bare the thought of losing him, when you could've done something."

I sigh and knock back half of my glass of whiskey. "Thanks for the encouragement, Prongs." 

"It is encouraging. It's encouraging because you know that you love him so much, you couldn't live without him. Isn't it good to feel something that big? That.. Strong?"

"No, it's not good! It's terrifying! I'm not used to this shit and if this keeps happening for as long as we're together, I'm going to have a heart attack by the end of it!"

~Later~

I'm just settling down to try and sleep when Sirius bursts through the door, kicking off his boots. 

"Fucking pervs, groping anything that's relatively pretty." He mutters. His hair is all mussed up, and one of his knee high socks are pushed down. 

"What happened?" I ask, going to pull Sirius into a hug. He sighs into my chest. 

"Just a dumb, gross idiot being dumb and gross." He says. "He practically tried to fuck me in the club." 

I kiss the top of Sirius' head. "Well, did everything else go well?" I ask, pulling back to look Sirius over. He's not hurt. His clothes are a little rumpled and there's a bruise on his arm- wait.

~Sirius' POV~

Remus presses his thumb to a spot on my neck, directly under my jaw bone. It sends a small shock of pain through my system.. There wasn't a mark there before. 

"..That's not from me." Remus says, absolutely calm. Oh shit, he's pissed. 

"I'm so sorry, I didn't realize-" Anxiety flares in my chest. I fucked up, he's not going to want me anymore, he's going tohatemehesgoingtobreakupwithme-

All signs point to Remus getting mad and leaving me, but all he does is pull me to his chest. I can't breathe, everything is just so much. I want to hug him, but it feels like every muscle in my body is frozen. 

"Breathe, baby." Remus puts one of his hands on the side of my neck as he whispers against the top of my head. "I'm not mad. I promise." 

I finally take a shaky breath when Remus says the last sentence. My hands are shaking so bad that I have to clench them into fists to get them to stop. 

Remus scoops me up into his arms, whispering softly as he carries me to the window sill. I can't make out what he's saying through the ringing in my ears, though. 

Remus sits down and settles me into his lap, wrapping a soft blanket around me. I nuzzle my face into his chest and pull the blanket close around me. It smells like Remus and helps me breathe more evenly. 

"Sorry," I mumble after a few moments. "I don't know what came over me.." Remus just shushes me and wraps his arms tighter around my waist. 

"You had a panic attack. It happens, Sirius. Don't apologize for that." Remus' voice is soft and calm as he combs his fingers through my hair. "Now, let's get you into some more comfortable clothes so you can sleep, yeah?" 

I nod and sit up a little to kiss Remus' cheek. "Okay, I'll be back in ten minutes minutes," I say, giggling when Remus pulls me in to kiss me carefully on the lips. 

~Remus' POV, a half an hour later.~

I'm starting to get worried about Sirius. He said he'd only take ten minutes, but he's not back yet. I should probably go see if he's okay. 

I get up and pull on a jacket before heading out of the library and into the hallway, wincing at the cold floor on my bare feet.  

When I get to Sirius' room, my heart stops beating. Sirius is passed out on his bed in a pair of sweat pants and no shirt, one of my missing hoodies tossed beside him. His phone is resting haphazardly on his face, and he's splayed out all weird. 

I smile fondly and walk over to Sirius, kneeling down beside the bed. After setting the hoodie aside, I gently move Sirius until he whines and curls up on his side, reaching for me. 

"Hush, beautiful." I chuckle, taking off my jacket and laying it over Sirius. I then look around until I find a pen and paper, then I scrawl a note to leave for Sirius to find in the morning. I have an early job, and I don't want to wake him in the morning. So I lay the note on his phone, grab the hoodie, and head out. 

~The next morning, Sirius' POV~

I wake up slowly for once, no nightmares in sight. As I open my eyes, I realize that I'm alone- and in my own bed. I don't remember anything after remus telling me to go put on pajamas. I'm covered up, though, so he must have been in here. 

I reach for my phone and smile when I realize there's a note on top of it. I rub my eyes to adjust them and smile even brighter when I see Remus' terrible handwriting

'You fell asleep in here and I didn't want to wake you up. I replaced the hoodie you were going to put on, because I'm sure by now it doesn't much smell like me anymore. If you come looking for me, I'm probably not home because I had a job. I'll be home around noon. -Moony

He's so thoughtful. He thought of everything that might make me anxious and explained it. 

I love him so much. I should do something for him. 

I get up and throw my hair up in a bun, trying to figure out what I could do for Remus. I could give his hoodies back, but that's not even an option. I could give him some of my hoodies. Yes! That's it. I'll give him a couple of my hoodies, make him lunch, and dress up sexy for him. Yes. It will be perfect. 

After showering, making lunch and setting it up on a table in the library, I decide that I should probably get dressed. 

After panicking for ten minutes, trying on five outfits, giving up twice, and almost quitting, I find the right outfit. It's not much different than my normal style, and I pushed more for the cute side than the sexy side, but I like it. Ripped black jeans, my black combat boots, a plain black t-shirt and a cute blue cardigan the I may or may not have stolen from Remus. He likes it when I wear his clothes, though. 

I put on a necklace and a couple of bracelets, then put my hair up in a bun as I walk to the library. 

I hum to myself as I lay out on the window sill, making sure I look as soft/sexy as possible. 

~Remus' POV~

I walk into the library, still half asleep and barely even human at this point. My mood instantly changes when I see lunch on a table, but it doesn't even compare to how many beats my heart skips when I look at Sirius, who is asleep on the window sill. 

I walk closer to the window, taking in every detail for my beautiful boy's appearance. His outfit is perfect, and my cardigan makes him look so smol and sweet. I lay down beside him, wrapping my arm around his waist. Sirius stirs and mumbles, turning a little to cuddle into my chest. I smile and run my fingers through his hair, pulling his hair out of the bun in the process. 

"Hm?" Sirius hums a little and cuddles closer to my chest, tucking his arm around my waist. ".. Re? Oh, shit-" 

"Good morning, goof ball." I say softly, pushing Sirius' hair out of his eyes. "Thanks for lunch," I add, and Sirius giggles. 

"It was supposed to be a bonding experience," He says, playing with my fingers. I smile, booping his cute little nose. Damn, I'd give anything to see that cheesy smile. 

"It is a bonding experience, darling. And we will eat that beautifully prepared lunch after we take a nap, alright? I'm exhausted." 

Sirius reaches up a little bit to push my hair out of my eyes. "How much did you sleep last night?" He asks, and I can't look him in the eyes when I answer

"I didn't, really." I mumble. Sirius traces the scar above my eye brow. 

"Not at all?"

"Maybe an hour, but that's a stretch. My mind wouldn't turn off, then the nightmares wouldn't go away, and after the third time waking up I just decided to stay awake." I still can't look at him, but it feels good to tell someone about my problems. 

"Alright, we can take a nap if you let me hold you and take care of you. I wanted to do something for you." Sirius says, his big grey eyes staring into my soul. I start to protest, but he cuts me off. "Hush up and let me hold you, Moony. If anyone walks in on us I'll stab them, deal?"

"Fine." 

~Sirius' POV~

After a couple minutes of cursing and rearranging, Remus settles down with his head on my chest. He wraps his arm around me like I'm his teddy bear, nestling down close. My heart grows at least seven sizes as I run my fingers through his hair, watching his eyes flutter closed. He's so beautiful, I can see why all of the girls and the gays whisper about him. It's not like he knows that, oblivious little cutie wolf.

Remus pulls a blanket up over us. I can tell it's mostly for me because I get cold, but it seems to help him snuggle down as well. I feel honored, if I'm being honest. Watch it Remus slowly relax and fall asleep is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. 

I rub Remus' back and shoulders, smiling when he hums happily. He mumbles something, but I don't quite hear it. "What was that, baby?" I ask, and Remus whines. 

"I w've chu.." Remus mumbles, all soft and sweet. I swear that my heart literally leaps out of my throat at that. Two days ago he wouldn't have been caught dead in this position, but he feels comfortable enough with me to cuddle up and let his guard down. 

 "I love you too, Re." I murmur, kissing the top of Remus' head. He smiles a little and nestles closer to me, letting out a slow breath. Within five minutes, he's out. 

For a while, I just watch Remus sleep. He's so peaceful and soft, and he snores. Not like a regular, loud James snore. It's soft and let's me know that he's really asleep. His hair falls gently over his eyes, casting shadows over his face. 

I love him more than I've ever loved anything. 

~A few Days Later~

I stand beside Remus as we're about to leave, listening to Alastor drone on and on about whateverthefuck. 

He finally shuts up and gives us each a file. "I'm going to leave now, because I dont want to see your goodbyes." Alastor says before heading off. 

~Remus' POV~

I glance over at Sirius. He'd drowning in one of my hoodies, but he still manages to make it punk with ripped jeans and combat boots. 

Just as I'm about to make the first move, Sirius turns and buries himself in my chest. "I don't wan' go." He mumbles, making me sigh. I glance around to make sure there's no one out here before kissing the top of his head. 

"I know." I whisper against the top of Sirius' head. He squeezes my waist tight enough to hurt, but I don't mind. I'm going to miss him as much if not more than he's going to miss me. Sirius is the only thing that helps with my nightmares, and even he doesn't help much. 

"At least lie to me and say you'll miss me." Sirius says as he looks up at me with slightly teary eyes. I smile fondly and kiss the tip of his nose. 

"Of course I'm going to miss you, but it's only a month, baby. We'll be fine." I assure Sirius, pushing his hair out of his eyes. "We can talk all the time. And besides, distance makes the heart grow fonder." I try to cheer Sirius up, but he just gives me that pouty face. 

"Okay." He says after a minute or so, pulling away from me. I tilt his chin up and kiss those pouty lips with all the love in the world, earning a soft giggle from Sirius. 

"I love you," I whispers the words, even though they still make my chest tight with anxiety. I lean my forehead against Sirius'. He smiles and pulls me into another kiss, wrapping his arms around my neck. 

"Okay, we really need to go-" I laugh, out of breath. Sirius crosses his arms, leaning against the car with a few new hickeys and a dazed look in his eyes. I'm sure I'm sporting a few marks and a blush of my own. 

"Fine. I'll call you later to make sure you get your ass to bed. Just because I'm not there doesn't mean you don't have to sleep." Sirius says, reaching up to fix my hair. I laugh and bump his hand with my nose. 

"Okay, mum." I tease. "But the same thing goes for you." I add, reaching out to hold his waist. I kiss his forehead one last time,  then let go. 

Damn this is going to suck. 

~A few hours later, Sirius' POV~

I'm laying in a motel room bed, scrolling through Instagram when Remus calls me. I smile and put him on speaker, setting my phone on the bed. 

"Hey," I say as I reach for my sketchbook. 

"Hey. You said you were going to call me tonight, but I'm already half asleep and I didn't want you to wake me up,"

My heart flutters at remus' rough, sleepy voice. "You could have just texted me, Cherié." 

"I know," Remus pauses and I hear a cute little yawn. "But I wanted to hear your voice."

A fond smile finds its way to my lips as I reply. "Give me a second, Cutie. I'll FaceTime you." I hang up the phone and FaceTime Remus, grinning like an idiot when I see my beautiful boy. He's curled up hugging a pillow, peering at me with soft, sleepy amber eyes. 

"You are so-" 

"Call me cute again and I'm going to drive up there just to pin you to a wall by your throat." Remus mumbles into his pillow, making him look even cuter. The best part is, I know he's not lying. 

"First of all, hot." I smirk, and Remus flushes. "Second, I was going to say handsome."  

"You're an idiot," Remus replies, his eyes barely open. I set my sketch book aside and take off my shirt before settling down under the covers. I set my phone down and turn off the light, the  lay down. 

"Yeah, tell me something I don't know."

"If you cut a grape in half and microwave it, it will catch on fire." I can't help but laugh at Remus' fun fact. 

"Moony are you high?" I ask, making Remus giggle. 

"Just a little," He admits, and I don't even try to fight off the loving smile that I feel curving at my lips. 

"Well, you should go to sleep before I have to hurt you." I say, unable to keep the smile off my face. 

"Believe me, I'm working on it," Remus murmurs, so soft I can barely hear him. My sweet boy. "S' not like I'm going to sleep for long anyway." He mutters, probably not wanting me to hear it. I sigh sympathetically. 

"It's alright, Love. I'll be right here if and when you wake up, alright?" I curl up, hugging my stuffed puppy. 

"Okay. The nightmares wouldn't be so bad if they weren't all the same one. It's more like a memory- just a lot more.. Supernatural." I cringe internally. Remus would never tell me this if he was sober. 

"Stop talking baby, you'll regret it in the morning." I advise gently. Remus sighs. 

"I've been wanting to tell you, it's just hard for me to talk about anything when I'm sober. Why do you think it's so hard for me to tell you that I love you? I want you to know, but my stupid general anxiety punches me in the throat and I get so scared by the time that I do say it I feel like I'm going to pass out." My heart hurts hearing Remus explain how he feels. Poor guy, he tries so hard. 

"I know you love me, Re." I assure Remus. He sighs and buries his face frustraredly in his pillow. 

"Why does it have to be so fucking hard to be a normal person?" He wonders aloud, making me sigh. 

"Lucky for you, I don't like normal." I say, and that makes Remus laugh just a little. "I love you even if you have trouble talking to me. It's fine, I swear." I continue in a soft voice. 

"Still. You deserve someone mentally stable who doesn't have dreams about a demon abusing him." Remus says this so quietly that I hardly hear him. But I do hear him, and the words almost bring tears to my eyes because I can tell it makes him anxious just to say it. 

"You know what I deserve, Remus? A boy who loves me enough to choke someone just because he hurt me. A boy who acts tough but let's his guard down around me because I make him feel safe. A boy who I can lay beside and know that he's always going to he there to hold me. You know why? Because all of the boys that I've been with in the past didn't care. The didn't beat themselves up over every little thing because they wanted it to be perfect. You do. That's why I need you." 

Remus looks at me, his eyes shining with tears in the dim light in his room. "How do you say things like that so easily?" He asks, looking genuinely amazed. 

"Because I know you. I knew this conversation would come up, so I thought about what I was eventually going to say," I explain with a gentle smile. "Now lay your pretty little head down and sleep, my love." 

Remus complies, his eyes closing. "I love you." He murmurs, and I smile. 

"I love you too, darling."

~

I wake up to Remus waking up screaming. It's weird, I'm not even scared. My brain just shifts into overdrive. 

"Re. Moony.  Remus!" I say until Remus glances at his phone. "Breathe, Baby. You're safe." Remus gets up and runs off, and I think I hear the vague sounds of him losing his dinner in the background. Poor guy. 

Remus comes back a solid five minutes later, looking a cross between pissed off and near crying. "Well, that was new." Remus mumbles, sitting on the bed and leaning his head back against the wall. 

"Was it more vivid than usual?" My nightmares tend to make me sick on rare occasions, when I really get lost in the fear. 

"They're always so real." Remus whispers, barely even speaking. Poor thing. "I just.. I couldn't get myself to wake up." 

"Did you know you were dreaming?" I ask, mostly just thinking aloud. This could cross over from nightmares to night terrors.

"Rationally, yes. I have the same dream every night. But there was something about this one.. I just.. I felt so.. /small/. Like I really was a little kid again. Usually I'm still the age I am now and I try to fight, but I was too scared to fight and I- I just- I don't know." Remus hugs his knees and buries his face in them. "God, I'm such a coward." 

"Let me tell you a story, Remus." I say, and Remus peeks up from his knees to look at me. "When I was really little, probably four or so, I got up from my bed to go get a glass of water because I couldn't sleep. I found my father wandering the halls, so naturally I asked him what was wrong and if he needed help. And he told me something that to this day I will never forget. He told me very carefully that he had had a bad dream, and that he had been coming to make sure I was alright." 

"Your father. Orion Black was checking on his son? Are you sure?"

"Very. Despite how much my father despised life itself and pretty much every person on this Godforsaken planet- for the first few years he was a father he was a good one. It wasn't until he got wrapped up in the gang that he became the man you've heard stories about. But that stuck with me for another reason. My dad had a bad dream. Not my 'father', but my 'dad'. I realized then that adults really aren't perfect. They're not invincible and they can feel fear. Adults can carry trauma too, and it's normal." I pause. "It's normal for you to be scared,  Cherié." 

"But it's not. Not for me. I'm supposed to have it all together and not feel anything because I'm the perfect assassin. I can kill someone with no hesitation and it doesn't bother me. I'm supposed to be the best." Remus mumbles, and I sigh. 

"You are. You're the best, and you still have nightmares. You have nightmares because you went through something that scarred you terribly and your brain is trying to process it. You've pushed it to the back of your brain for too long, and now your mind is being overflowed with all of these memories that you've forgotten." I say, watching Remus wipe frustrated tears from his eyes. 

"I haven't forgotten anything. It's just like.. Like I can't push things to the back of my mind anymore." Remus says, staring ahead with a sort of vacant look in his eyes. "I'm sorry." He mutters. "For this- and for spilling my guts at you earlier. I've got to stop smoking before bed." 

"You don't have anything to be sorry for." I say, turning over onto my back. "I'm your boyfriend. If you can't talk to me, who can you talk to? God knows you know more about me than anyone else." I admit, my voice shier than I intended it to be. 

"Still. You have your own problems to deal with, you shouldn't have to deal with mine on top of it." He lays down, I can hear him moving. "You know... It is getting easier. For me to say I love you." His voice is so calming and soft, I love him so much. A smile creeps onto my face. 

"I can tell." I reply, counting mysterious stains on the ceiling. "You smile more, too. You try to hide it, but I know."

"It's not my fault that you're a cutie pie." 

We talk. We talk for hours about everything and nothing, learning about each other and our interests. It doesn't get much deeper than the original conversation, though. After a while though, I can see Remus getting sleepy. He's hugging a pillow again, being the big spoon that he is. He still replies to what I'm saying, but his pretty eyes are halfway closed. 

"You should try to get a little more sleep, babe." I suggest gently, and Remus replies with the slightest shake of his head. 

"I'll just have another nightmare." He mumbles, sounding defeated. I just sigh and give him a soft smile. 

"And I'll be right here when you do. Besides, maybe you won't. You never know, Cherié." I try to sound as optimistic as I can. Remus just chuckled a little. 

"I know you will, Alderyn Glas." He mumbles. "But I've been having nightmares consistently for a month. It's not going to stop now." 

"Maybe it will, though. It probably won't, but it might." I say, and I swear I see a smile twitch at Remus' lips. 

"Ever the optimist, aren't you?" Remus mumbles, mostly into his pillow. "Fine. I'll try and sleep. But you need to as well, its an hour later for you." He points out. I glance at the clock. It's nearly four thirty and I have to be up at seven. Fun. 

"Okay, Moony." I get up and find a hoodie because I'm cold and I need something that calms me down to go back to sleep. When I lay back down, Remus is already asleep. 

"I love you." I whisper before settling down.

~A week later, 7:00 am, Sirius' POV~

"Re, breathe. You're safe." I say from across the room when I hear Remus wake up cursing. 

"Fuck. What time is it?" His rough, sleepy voice asks. 

"For you? About six. You slept for a solid five hours." I reply, jumping on the bed to look at Remus through my phone. "That's a record." 

"Why are you up so early?" Remus smiles at me, his hair all messed up and his eyes soft. Gosh, I can't help the blush that creeps up my neck. 

"Insomnia. It's alright though, I did some studying and watched you sleep for a while. I think I figured something out," I say as I get up again to go brush my hair. 

"Hm? And what's that?" I love it when he humors my insanity. 

"I think that Barry's parents are still communicating. You said Hellen was on the phone of and on yesterday from one to three, and so was Bart. That's not much evidence, but I noticed Bart wearing a ring yesterday. It was most definitely a wedding ring, and they're meant to be recently divorced. What if they're taking it?"

"Or Bart possibly isn't over Hellen." Remus suggests, getting up to do something or other. I just mill about, thinking and getting ready for the day. After a couple minutes I hear Remus whine. 

"Get back hereee! I wanna see you!" He says loudly, making me laugh. I finish off my eyeliner and pick my phone up off of the bed, sitting down. 

"Hello Love," I say with a bright smile, seeing that Remus hasn't made any move to make himself look alive. He's all soft angles and floofy hair. Gosh, I love him. 

"Hi," Remus grins, waving a little. "You look pretty," 

"Why thank you." I lay back on the bed to just look at Remus. "So do you," I add. 

We just stare at each other for a while, occasionally talking but mostly just peace in each other's presence. 

After a while I hear Remus' alarm go off for him to get up. I'm not really sure why he sets one, he's always awake before it anyway. He turns it off, then gives me a big, goofy smile. 

"Here we go again, Padfoot." 

He gives me a two finger salute, then hangs up. 

~Another week or so, Remus' POV~

"Moony, you there? " Sirius asks me, oddly calm, over the radio I have in my hoodie pocket. I take it off and press the button on the side so I can speak into it. 

"What's up, Pads?" I ask, my voice rough and unemotional as it always is when I'm on guard. I climb a little lower in the tree I've taken perch in, so I can hide behind the fence and talk to Sirius. 

"Barty's a spy, Moony." I can almost hear the way Sirius' face goes white when he says it. I drag a hand through my hair. I can hear something else, too- 

He's running. Fuck. 

"Hang on Ri. Find a place to stop. I'm going to switch channels." I cut my audio and tune my radio in to Alastor's private channel- he always has his radio on him. All seasoned assassins have one, they can't be traced. 

"Mad-Eye?" I ask, keeping my voice down and standing up on my branch to peek over the fence. 

"Yes, Moony?" I wince when I hear my 'code name' in Alastor's rough voice. 

"It's Wolf, Moody. Padfoot's in trouble. I can talk him through it, but he has some valuable information."

"And that is? Please don't speak in riddles, boy." 

"Barty's a spy. I've got eyes on his Mother, but Pads was running. Is Barty at base?" I ask, settling back down against the fence. I hear Alastor's cursing for a solid minute before he replies. 

"No, he left yesterday. Just enough time to get to Padfoot's post. I'm going to try and contact him, you check in with Padfoot. Keep me posted." 

He cuts the line, and I quickly switch back to Sirius' channel. 

"Pads?" I ask quietly. "You okay?"

"Fuck- no- hang on-" My heart races at Sirius' out of breath voice. He was running that whole time, that's a lot even for him. Time seems to stand still as I wait for him to check back in. I look over the fence again and nearly pass out when Hellen almost spots me. I duck back down quickly, just as Sirius' line comes back online. 

"I'm fucked." 

~Sirius' POV~

My mind races, trying to find a way out of this as I dash through the woods. They say me. They /saw/ me. I can hear my heart beating in my ears as I run, hearing Barty's footfalls behind me. Right after they saw me I took off into the woods behind the Crouch Mansion. 

"Pads, you okay?" I hear Remus' soft voice over my radio and I sigh, taking it out of my belt. I nearly trip over a root, biting my tongue at the searing pain that tears through my leg. 

"Fuck- no-" I glance behind me. Shit. "Hang on." 

I glance behind me again and see that Barty is slowing down. Yes! He puts his hands on his knees and lowers his head, just in time to let me run behind a tree without being seen. I grab my radio once again. 

"I'm fucked." I whisper, trying to catch my breath without being too loud. "So are you. Barty saw me and his dad grabbed his phone, you've probably got eyes on you." I continue, finally able to breathe. 

"Alright, I'm on my way out. Are you okay?" His voice manages to get even more emotionless, and for once I commend him. I'm scared out of my mind. 

"I twisted my ankle and Barty's going to recover fast. He stopped to rest." 

"Are you hidden?" A bit of something leaks through Remus' voice at that. Possibly fear. If he's scared, I must really be in trouble. 

~Remus POV~

I stay completely aware of my surroundings as I walk back to the motel. I didn't drive today, not wanting to cause too much noise. My heart races as I wait for Sirius to reply. He's in real trouble, and I don't know how to help him. 

"Wolf?" Alastor's voice crackles through my radio. 

"I'm here." I answer, trying to keep my voice level. 

"I haven't been able to contact Barty. How's Padfoot?"

"Bad. He sprained his ankle, and Barty's chasing him- probably why he didn't answer you. I'm on my way back to the motel." I take a detour, not wanting to be caught being predictable. 

"Get your stuff and head home, Wolf. Get back on line with Padfoot, and get him on his way home as well. We have the information we need, and you boys need to get home." 

"On it, sir." Yes, I can be respectful. Alastor is still my boss, as well as my friend. It's practically second nature calling him Sir at this point. I cut the line with Alastor and switch over to Sirius' frequency. 

"Padfoot? You good?" I ask, glancing around and up to make sure no one's watching me. 

"For the moment." Sirius' soft, scared voice replies. "I think I've lost him, but I'm going to stay here for a few minutes. Have you talked to Alastor?" I let out a breath at that. 

"Yeah. He told me to head home, and to tell you to do the same. Our work is done here." 

"How far are you from your motel? I can hear Barty, he's on the phone with his Mum." Sirius sounds slightly more freaked out now. "I'm so fucking scared, Moony." That was a whisper. My heart tries to break, but I won't let it. 

"I know." I say, my voice level and soft. "But you can't panic, okay? You need to channel that fear into what you're doing instead of just panicking. You're going to be fine." 

"But what if you're not?" He sounds so emotional. This is what I was afraid of. Relationships just make a very thing harder. 

"I'm fine, Baby." I say in a near whisper. I almost never call Sirius that, I think it's tacky and overused. Sure, I love it when he calls me baby, but still. 

I hear Sirius take a deep breath. "Yeah. Okay. We're fine."

"We're fine." I echo in confirmation, glancing around and trying not to look too paranoid. 

"Alright. I'm not very far from the motel, and I haven't seen Barty. I might have enough time to grab my stuff with no casualties." Sirius sounds much less scared now. I walk into my hotel room, and sigh when I immediately feel a knife pressing into my throat. I subtly turn my radio audio off and put it on my belt. 

"Hello. Wolf, is it?" 

I lock my jaw, going through possible ways that I could get myself out of this. 

"That would be me." I reply, feeling the knife press uncomfortably against my throat when I talk. My voice is calm and level. 

"I've heard much about you. I commend you on your work, Sir, but I must kill you now." 

"Moony?" I hear Sirius ask softly over my radio. "What's going on?" Oh no, I must have hit the wrong button. 

"If you must." I reply to the man behind behind me, still calm. 

"Moony what the fuck are you doing?!" Sirius is panicking again. 

"I have something stuck to my shoe Pads, don't worry." I reply. Stuck to my show means I have someone following me, which is also true. There's someone in the closet, I can see them moving. 

"Don't do anything stupid, Moons." Sirius sounds so scared, I can hear the way his breath catches in his throat. 

"I love you." 

~Sirius' POV~

I listen with tears in my eyes as Remus fights. I hear someone scream, but it's not his scream. Remus is mad when he screams, not scared. 

"Come on, moony." I whisper, not into my radio. "Come on." 

~Remus' POV~

Just as I get the guy behind me on the ground, the other one tackles me from behind. I kick the first guy in the jaw, silently thanking whoever hears that he passes out. I then flip the guy on my back onto the ground and hole him there with my foot on his throat. 

"Who sent you?" I ask, knowing full well who did. 

"Barty Crouch!" The guy sings like a songbird. 

"Who else knows I'm here?" 

"No one! I swear!"

"I don't believe you." I answer, then do the same to this guy as I did to the other. I don't have time to hide a body. 

"Moons? You there?" Sirius asks. I take my radio off of my belt. 

"I'm alright, Pads. Just some technical difficulties. You?" I put my radio back and start packing my backpack at top speed. 

"I just left my motel, there's a car following me but I may just be paranoid." 

"It's possible, but just make sure they don't follow you for too long. Take the long way home for good measure. I'm fairly sure I've still got someone watching me, but I'll be alright." I say, glancing around the room before hiking my bag up higher on my shoulder and heading out. 

~A few hours later, Sirius' POV~

"Hey," I say over my radio. "I think that car finally stopped following me." I continue, feeling better now that I'm away from my job. Remus hums over his radio. 

"That's good. I've had two different cars following me periodically, these guys must be good. That guy, earlier- he knew me. He said he commended me for my work. I can't remember what I've done to make people know me." Remus says. He's probably been thinking about this for a while. 

"Maybe it's because of what you did to your dad? I mean, we left one of those guys alive. Maybe he saw." I suggest, taking an unnecessary turn just in case that car is still following me. 

"Maybe, but I don't think so. I think.. I think my father my be communicating with the death eaters. He said he'd heard a lot about me." Remus replies, talking quickly. 

"We'll talk to Alastor when we get home, alright Baby? Just stop stressing." I let my voice even out, trying not to make it too obvious because Remus hates getting anxious.

"Okay. Thanks, Ri. Are you going to stop tonight or keep driving?" Remus asks. I sigh. 

"I'll probably keep driving, there's no junkyards on my way back to swap my plates. You?" 

"I have to stop. I'm too tired to drive all night, caffeine isn't working anymore." Remus says. I chuckle softly. 

"If you stop, then we'll get home at about the same time." I point out, and I can practically hear Remus' dopey smile. 

~The next day, Remus' POV~

"Morning, Sunshine," I say when Sirius answers his phone. We aren't really supposed to use our radios for anything more than work. 

"Morning, baby. How'd you sleep?" 

"Not great. About three and a half hours, but it's enough to get me home." I say, purposefully not mentioning nightmares because I don't want to talk about it. Sirius must get the hint, because he doesn't say anything. 

"I've actually been thinking, I know what a surprise. We haven't actually been on a date. Did you know that? We've only ever bonded over almost dying or talking from the hours eleven to three am. Weve never actually had a domestic dating experience."

"Our first kiss was pretty domestic," I counter, climbing into the front seat of my car. 

"When you told me your real name? Or when you finally nutted up and chased after me when you rejected me?" Sirius asks sarcastically. 

"Good point." I reply. "Alright. When we get home and get rested up, I'll take you on the most generic, domestic date ever. Okay? Then I'll walk you to your room and kiss you on the cheek like we're in high school and you have a cerfew."

Sirius giggles. "That sounds perfect, Moony." 

We talk for a while longer, about little things like what we see or things like that. Then Sirius asks;

"What are you going to do when you see me?" He asks, sounding relaxed and happy. I smile fondly. 

"What do you want me to do, Love?" I ask back, taking an unnecessary turn because I'm still paranoid. 

"I 'unno. Just surprise me."

"Alright."

~Sirius' POV, an hour later~

I pull into the parking lot of Order headquarters, smiling widely when I see that Remus is already there, leaning on his car. I park and get out of the car in record time, the only thing on my mind being that I /need/ his arms around me.

Remus meets me just a step before I'm about to crash into him. He kisses me, twirling me around like we're in a cheesy romantic movie. I can't help but giggle into the kiss, my joy bubbling over from my chest into my stomach and every part of my body. 

"I love you so much." Remus whispers against my temple when he finally puts me down, not letting go of my waist. I just nestle myself into his chest with a gentle hum. 

"I love you too, Rem." I whisper, surprised to feel tears stinging my eyes. I was just so worried about him. Remus pushes his fingers through my hair. 

"Oh, don't do that. If you cry then it's going to make me cry, and I don't have enough energy for that." Remus murmurs against my head, making me giggle. I hug him tight, never ever wanting to let go. 

"Aren't you supposed to find me before doing anything else?" That was Alastor. I pull away from Remus, quickly wiping my eyes. And, for some reason, a strong wave of anxiety washes over me. Remus must notice, because he wraps his arms around me from behind. 

"You separated us, both of us nearly died, and he's clingy. What do you expect?" Remus jokes, and I roll my eyes. Yeah. /I'm/ clingy. 

"Fine. Get your things and get to the infirmary both of you. I want you guys checked over thoroughly. Take a nap, get rested up, then I want you in my office by seven." Alastor says in his usual gruff voice, but I think I see a hint of a smile on his face. 

Remus and I get our things, then head to the infirmary hand in hand. We don't even talk, we just walk in a comfortable silence. 

I get checked over first. I start to protest, but Remus just nudges me and gives me a look that says he needs to make sure I'm okay first. Okay. Fine. 

Damn it, I would do anything for this boy. 

"Alright, is there anything prominent that I need to look at?" Poppy asks, as if she can't already tell with my heavy limp. 

"I sprained my ankle," I reply, sitting down on a hospital bed. I glance at Remus. "And.. There there may or may not be a knife wound in my thigh." 

"Alright. Let me see your ankle, then we'll deal with the other." Poppy takes it like a professional, but I can see the fear in her eyes. She always gets worried when I get hurt, I'm not sure why. This is nothing. I've broken both of my arms on separate occasions, sprained my wrist, and dislocated my shoulder. Not to mention the nasty scar on my back from my father and countless other past stab wounds. I can deal with a booboo and a sprained ankle. 

It's fairly simple. I carefully take off my boot and sock so Poppy can wrap my ankle, then I take off my jeans so she can clean up the fairly nasty wound on my thigh. 

"Did you even try to clean this up?" Poppy sighs. "You're my apprentice, I expect you to treat yourself as if you were a patient. You can do better than this." She scolds me the entire time she cleans and bandages the wound. 

"I know, Poppy. I was in a hurry." I reply, staring at the ceiling to distract myself from the sharp ache. 

"Don't apologize. Put your pants back on and help me take care of your dumb boyfriend." Poppy gets up and smacks my thigh just to make me wince. I swear, she's like a psycho grandma. ((Yes, my grandma did do this to me. I love her very much-)) 

"Hey!" Remus protests. "What did I do??" 

"Don't think I cant see the cut on your throat, Howell. Sit." 

I put my jeans back on and get out of the way so Remus can sit down. I pull my boot back on, glancing at Remus. He looks at me with the same challenging expression, his arms crossed. 

"You got stabbed?" Remus asks. 

"/You/ got stabbed?"

"Call it even?"

"Yep." I nod. "Now take off your jacket and let me look at you." Remus complies, unziping his jacket and letting it slide down his shoulders. I gently tilt his head back, inspecting the long cut on his throat. 

"In my defense, I didn't realize it was there until I went to take my shirt off and it was covered in blood." Remus murmurs, his eyes closed. 

"It's not bad, it just looks bad." I say, leaning to kiss Remus while his eyes are closed. I manage to see a soft smile on those perfect lips before I turn to go get alcohol and bandages. 

I come back a couple minutes later and silently clean up Remus' throat while Poppy talks to him. "Is anything else wrong?" She asks. 

"Nothing physical, except for a couple scratches on my hands from a tree." Remus replies, wincing as I put alcohol on the cut. 

"ooOOWW!" He whines dramatically, and I roll my eyes. 

"Dont be a baby,"  I mutter, putting a bandage over the cut.

"But you call me a baby all the time," Remus counters, wrapping his arms around my waist. I hear Poppy's heels clicking as she walks away. 

"I call you /my/ Baby, I don't say that you are a baby," I mumble, and Remus pulls me closer until I'm straddling his lap. He runs his hands up my thighs to hold my waist, nuzzling his face into my neck. 

"Why are you so mad? Do you need a snack?" Remus asks, pulling back to kiss up my jawline. I roll my eyes. 

"Bitch, I am a snack." I reply. "But yeah, I am hangry. And tired. Let's go take a nap." 

~Remus' POV~

After getting some lunch and changing into more comfy clothes, Sirius and I collapse in a pile of limbs and giggle onto the window sill. He straddles my lap, arms wrapped tight around my neck. 

"I love you so much," Sirius says against my lips, barely even coming up for air. I smile as much as I can into the kiss, pushing my arms under his hoodie to hold his bare waist. 

"I love you more," I reply, finally pulling away from the kiss to kiss down Sirius' neck. It's been too long, the marks that were on his neck are gone. Sirius squirms on my lap, he's getting antsy. 

It's kind of fun making him wait. So, I pull back. "Isn't this more third date activity, love?" I ask, my voice absolutely fucked with lust. It seems to do something to Sirius though, because his cheeks flush even darker. 

"Don't be cute, Re, come onnn!" Sirius whines, pulling me closer. I chuckle and kiss his cheek. 

"Come on what?" I gasp. "Are you suggesting we do something unholy before the third date? For shame, Mr. Padfoot." I tease, making Sirius turn and even darker shade of red. 

Sirius finally huffs in frustration and kisses me again, making me drop my whole attitude. He's more aggressive now, fighting me for dominance. It's cute, I'm not going to lie. 

I push Sirius down onto his back, putting my elbow on either side of his head. He looks up at me with wide eyes, probably not expecting that. I smile softly and lean down to kiss his cheek. 

"You okay?" I ask, not wanting to make Sirius uncomfortable in any way. He grins at me, pushing his fingers through my hair. I will never admit how much I love that. 

"I'm fine, Rem," Sirius murmurs, one of his hands sliding down to cup my cheek. Lean into his hand, trying not to let my nerves get the better of me. I've never been anxious while doing this before, why does this scare me so much? 

I know why. It's because I love him.

"Maybe.. Maybe we should wait though," Sirius pulls me into a soft kiss. "Follow tradition and wait until the third date." 

I bite the inside of my lip. I know he's only saying that because he can tell I'm nervous, but on the other hand I am nervous. 

~Sirius' POV~

I search Remus' eyes, watching him fight with himself over what he wants to do. I frame his face in my hands. "Sorry about this in advance." I kiss the tip of Remus' nose. 

"Wh- ah!"

I flip Remus off of me with one of my legs, then shift onto my side so we can see each other. 

"And that, My Love, is why I'm not afraid of you." I whisper, cuddling up to Remus. He laughs, and I can't help but smile at the soft blush that creeps up his neck.

"And that is exactly why I'm deathly afraid of you, cutie." Remus kisses tthe top of my head, and I can feel some of the tension in my shoulders melting away as he pulls a blanket up over us, then tucks an arm around my waist.

"I'm not that scary.." I mumble, my eyelids starting to get heavy. Remus pulls me close to his chest, making a warm blossom of love bloom in my chest. I love him so much.

"Oh, yes you are." He pushes his fingers through my hair, making me impossibly more sleepy. "I love you~"

"I love you moore.."

I don't her his reply, because my eyes fall closed.

~An hour or so later, Remus' POV~

I watch Sirius sleep for a while, making sure he stays calm and does n't get to antsy. Sirius has a tendency to move around a lot when he sleeps, and then he wakes up exhausted.

I glance at my phone and sigh when I realize it's nearly seven, Alastor's going to want us in his office soon. I look down at Sirius, tucking his hair behind his ear. That makes him giggle in his sleep, cuddling closer to my chest. I smile, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead.

"Siriii.." I whisper, rubbing Sirius' shoulder. "Wake up, Love," He whines at that, making me chuckle.

"Noo.." Sirius mumbles. I don't even try to stop the fond smile that curves at my lips. He's so fucking cute, how could anyone ever hurt him?

"We have to go meet with Alastor, babe. Wake up," I urge, but Sirius just snuggles closer to me.

"Don' wanna.. Let's just blow him off." He sounds slightly more awake, but not much. I chuckle and brush my fingers through his hair, playing with his beautiful curls.

"It won't take long. Besides, dinner is almost over she James is going to want to check on you." I point out, and Sirius just sighs.

"I'm too tired for this shit. Did you sleep at all?" Sirius asks, opening his big grey eyes to look up at me.

"I'll sleep when I'm dead, Babe." I reply, my heart warming at the sleepy smile on Sirius' face.

"Alright, edge lord. Let's go. You owe me the best date ever tomorrow." Sirius sits up, stretching and exposing a strip of skin where his hoodie rides up. I can't help but tickle him teasingly, laughing at the high pitched squeal that leaves Sirius' mouth.

"You deserve the best date ever, Pads." I sit up and pull Sirius into a gentle kiss. "I already know where I'm going to take you." 

We both get up and I try to fix my hair, giving up after a few moments. 

"Where are you going to take me?" Sirius asks, watching me with heart eyes. I roll my eyes. 

"I'm not going to tell you, that would ruin the surprise!" 

~The next morning, Sirius' POV~

I lay awake staring at the ceiling, running my fingers absently through an uneasily sleeping Remus' hair. He woke up from a nightmare a couple hours ago, and I talked him into going back to sleep. It took some convincing, but he eventually let me hold him so he could go back to sleep. 

"Siri.." Remus mumbles, pulling my closer with an arm around my waist. I smile and kiss the top of his head. 

"Shh, baby. You're safe." I soothe, and Remus settles down again with a soft hum. I smile and hold him closer. If he weren't here, I'd be wide awake /and/ panicking. With him here, I'm just wide awake. Every time he whines or shifts closer to me it pulls me from my thoughts. 

I feel a soft, sleepy kiss being pressed to my shoulder. "Have you slept?" Remus asks, his voice rough and sleepy. 

"No," I reply honestly. "'S just my insomnia, don't worry about it." I continue, as Remus starts to mark up my neck. I giggle and roll my eyes. 

"Maybe I should just tire you out..." Oh fuck, his voice got deeper. I feel a smirk curve at my lips as I twine my fingers in Remus' hair. 

"What happened to the third date?" I tease, as Remus moves his hand to hold my hip. 

~Remus' POV~

I gently bite at Sirius' pulse point, pushing my hand just slightly under Sirius' shirt. Anxiety still flares in my chest, but not quite as bad as earlier. 

"That's too long to wait, with you being this fucking hot." I mumble, biting at Sirius' ear. His breathing gets a bit uneven and I smirk, he had to try really hard not to moan that time. 

"For real Rem, we don't have to if you're not comfortable." Sirius whispers, and that makes me pause. He sounds so genuine and sweet, and I know by the tone of his voice that he wouldn't hold it against me if I stopped right now. What did I ever do to deserve him?

"I'm not completely sure why this makes me so anxious," I admit, sitting up to straddle Sirius' waist. "But I've never been one to avoid my fears." I lean down and Kiss Sirius again, relaxing slightly when I feel him let out a gentle hum. He puts his hands on either side of my face, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. I balance myself on my elbows, letting him have control for a few moments. 

I start to kiss down Sirius' neck again. "Anything I should know?" I ask. "Turn ons, turn offs?" I continue. Sirius gently pushes on my shoulders and I immediately get up, giving him room. 

Sirius sits up so I'm straddling his lap. I go to get off, but he just hugs my waist. I can see a little spark of anxiety in his clear grey eyes. 

"Did I scare you?" I ask, gently pushing a curl behind Sirius' ear. He shakes his head. 

"No, I'm just.. I'm not used to guys actually caring about how I feel, I guess." His voice is low and rough with lust, but at the same time he sounds kind of scared. 

I kiss the top of Sirius' head, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. "Well, get used to it. Most of the guys I mess around with actually get annoyed that I check in so often, although they're too scared to say it." I say, and Sirius giggles a little. 

"Well, I think it's adorable and romantic." Sirius tilts his head up, catching my lips in a short kiss. "Back to your question, if I'm uncomfortable you'll know. You probably know by now that I can't deal with my arms being held, although I do like being pinned down- don't question me." Sirius flushes when I chuckle at his admission. He's so fucking cute, I can't. 

"I'm not questioning, continue." I nuzzle our noses together, feeling uncharacteristically soft. 

"If you're going to hold me down, just avoid touching my forearms." Sirius shows me one of his arms, pointing out soft, faded scars that were most likely caused by fingernails. "If you hold my hands when you pin them down it.. Helps my brain know you're not going to hurt me." He won't look me in the eyes as he says that, and I can't help but tilt his head up with my pointer finger. 

"You do know that I'd never hurt you though, right?" I push my fingers through Sirius' hair, trying to calm him down. I can feel his fingers tapping nervously on my waist. 

"Yeah, of course I know that. But when I'm tripping on euphoria, my brain doesn't know how to handle a lot of things. Why do you think you've never seen me drunk? I don't like the feeling of being out of control." Sirius sighs. "God, I'm so weird. I'm sorry, I've never tried to explain my brain to anyone before."

"You're not weird, Mêl. You've been through shit that's fried your nerves, just like me." I gently untangle sirius' bedhead, my heart warming at the way his eyes close and his shoulders relax. He smiles a little. 

"I love you." He whispers, voice soft and barely even there. A smile curves at my lips. 

"I love you more," My chest still gets tight when I say those words, but it's getting easier. 

Then we're kissing again, this time with me in the lead. Sirius is much more relaxed now that we've talked, and I find that I am as well. My hands aren't even shaking. 

I push Sirius down against the pillows, chuckling softly at the needy whine that comes from him as I pull away. 

"Aww, you're so cute.." I tease, and Sirius flushes. 

"You tell a single soul, and I'll fucking kill you." Sirius mumbles, his eyes closed. A soft smile tugs at my lips at that. No one has ever heard him moan before. Even if it was because they had no respect for him and were losers, I still feel honored. 

"I know." I kiss the tip of Sirius' nose, pushing his hair gently out of his eyes. "And you know that I'd never, ever share this with anyone." I whisper right into his ear, a sense of pride tearing through my chest at the way Sirius shivers. He holds my waist, his hands trembling slightly- I'm not sure if it's from anxiety or excitement. Probably a bit of both. 

"Possessive, are we?" Sirius asks with a gentle smile, his eyes barely open. His pretty, jet black eyelashes cast long shadows on his cheeks in the moonlight. "You know, I don't usually date possessive guys for too long. I get bored." He's just teasing, but it makes a wave of jealousy wash over me. 

"Well, it's a good thing I'm not a bitch ass punk like all of your other boyfriends," I reply, starting to mark up sirius' neck again. He twists his fingers in my hair suddenly, his chest rumbling with a soft groan that's barely audible. I pause for a moment, gently teasing that same spot with my teeth again. Sirius grips my waist tighter, barely breathing. I smirk, leaning on one elbow to trail my fingers feather light down Sirius' chest. 

"You can moan, sweetheart," I whisper, and Sirius flushes deeper just at the pet name. "No one even knows we're dating, if people hear moaning they'll assume it's my latest drunk one night stand." 

Sirius avoids my eyes. He moves his hands to frame my face, leaning up just slightly to press a soft, barely there kiss to my lips. 

"Is it.." Sirius sighs. "Is it bad that I'm scared? I.. I don't want you to think differently of me because of how sensitive I actual am. I'm sorry, I'm probably just over thinking, it comes with the insomnia." Sirius stops talking. Every soft spoken, anxious word breaks my heart a little more. I cover one of his hands with one of mine. 

"The only difference in the way I feel about you would be me falling more in love with you, Sirius. I don't want you to stress yourself out because of things that other people have said about you." I twine our fingers together. 

"O-okay." Sirius still won't look me in the eyes, so I kiss him softly on the lips to draw him from his thoughts. 

"I love you, alright baby? No matter what." I murmur against Sirius' lips, loving the way his lashes flutter, his eyes trying to decide if they want to be open or closed. 

"Okay." Sirius replies, more confident this time. He wraps his arms sround my neck, kissing me more vigorously this time. 

((~Hello! Friendly disclaimer, there will be a smut scene here! Feel free to skip to the next AN to get back to the main story! Xx~)) 

Usually, I would hate the feeling of someone pulling me down like this. For some reason, though, I don't mind it now. Sirius is so gentle and he makes sure that I can get up if I need to, fuck he's so perfect. 

I push one of my hands up under Sirius' t-shirt, baffled by the fact that he can manage to be cold right now. 

"Fuck, you're so warm.. " Sirius mumbles when he comes up for air. He tilts his head back when I start to trail kisses down his neck, tangling his fingers in my hair again. I make sure to tease the spot that had gotten a rise out of him earlier, but not for too long. He whines a little when I move on to a new spot, making me smile. He's not quite as afraid anymore. 

I push Sirius' collar slightly to the side so I can begin exploring his collarbones. When I curl my hand around his hip, he jumps slightly. I pause. 

"You okay?" I ask gently, and Sirius nods. His bright, soft grey eyes are trained on mine. 

"There's a scar there, Babe. 'S sensitive. Nothing to worry about." Sirius assures immediately, playing with my hair. He must realize it calms me down by now. I nod and dip my head back down, building my confidence back up as I attack the unmarked, porcelain skin of Sirius' collarbones. 

I work on marking up every inch of skin that I find, listening to the little whimpers and groans that Sirius makes and paying attention to when they happen so I know what to do next time. This is always my favorite part of sex, if I'm being honest. Getting to know the other person as a whole, learning what really makes them tick. 

I sit up, finally satisfied with my work. "Do you have any idea how hard it's going to be to cover these up?" Sirius asks teasingly as he slips his shirt over his head, tossing it off to the side. 

"Don't." I suggest, barely able to figure out what to say. I'm too distracted looking at the tattoo on Sirius' sternum. Sirius chuckles. 

"Moony darling, you're drooling. Someone's got a thing for tattoos." He smirks, and it takes everything in my being not to hide my face bashfully. 

"I also have a voice kink, fight me." I reply, running my hands gently over Sirius' chest and stomach. Just looking at him normally, he most definitely looks like a twink. But damn, when he takes off the big hoodies and t-shirts, he's fit as hell. 

I can't decide which I like better. 

"Noted." Sirius mumbles, as I start to leave a trail of bites down his chest. "It's Canis major, by the way. I'm a bit of an astrology nerd." Sirius exlains, and if I was any less horny I would tell him how cute that was. I'll tell him later. 

Sirius covers his mouth compulsively when I curl my hand lightly around his thigh. He tenses up and a fond smile tugs at my lips. 

"Ah, someone has sensitive thighs." I slide my hand just a little bit up Sirius' thigh, eliciting a sharp gasp from him. "Maybe I'll really get you to moan tonight." I smirk, and Sirius rolls his eyes. 

"Don't.. Don't push it."  Sirius mumbles, trying to catch his breath. I smile and sit up on my knees, sliding my hands up either one of Sirius thighs. His lashes flutter, and now that I'm not leaning over him he has no idea what to do with his hands. It's actually quite adorable. 

"Oh come on, now you're just being quiet out of spite," I tease, and Sirius has the audacity to giggle. 

"You're damn right I am." He grins at me, wrapping his leg around my waist. He seems to relax a little when he says this, stretching out like the adorable pillow prince he is. "I'm practically living out of spite at this point. Now hurry up and fuck me before I get bored." He smirks at me, clear grey eyes posing a challenge. 

"You're not exactly in a position to be making orders, are you?" I reply as I gently slide Sirius' pajama pants down his legs. I lean back so he can kick them off the rest of the way, and my chest burns at the air of confidence that he gives off even in this position. Fuck, this is why I love him. He's not scared or intimidated. 

"Probably not, and yet youre still listening." Sirius smirks at me, tilting his head. "Also, while I'm coherent enough to give orders, I'd really rather see your hoodie on the floor." 

I have to think about this request for a moment. I've never actually taken my shirt off during sex before. 

"Unless that makes you uncomfortable," Sirius continues. "If it does, please disregard my request." 

"I'm not uncomfortable, I'm evaluating my life choices," I assure Sirius, rubbing my thumb in gentle circles over his inner thigh when I see him start to get anxious. 

After what seems like hours but it's only seconds, I make a decision. I sit up fully on my knees and slip my hoodie over my head, tossing it to the floor. I instantly don't feel comfortable, but the way Sirius is biting his lip makes me feel a little better. 

"..Holy fucking shit.." Sirius whispers, and I can see his eyes following the scars along my chest and stomach. I decide to push on and I get up to crouch beside the widow sill, retrieving a bottle of lube that I keep there religiously. Sirius watches me with a sweet little smile, tucking his hands behind his head. I roll my eyes at how cocky and sweet he is at the same time, but it's honestly really endearing. 

I settle myself back between Sirius' legs, chuckling at the way he reaches out for me. 

"You're so far away!" He whines, and I can't help but laugh. 

"Patience, My Love." I reply in an even voice, bending a little to press a kiss to Sirius' thigh. He sighs poutily as I spread lube over my fingers, but he jumps when I accidentally brush them against his inner thigh. And I don't mean because its cold- he flinches so hard he nearly closes his legs. I pause and glance up at him. 

"What the fuck are you doing?" Sirius asks, and I tilt my head slightly. 

What? 

"... Stretching you out. You good?" I ask, but Sirius still looks confused. "You know, like, with my fingers?" 

"Isn't that just a wanking thing?" Sirius sounds genuinely confused, and as all of the puzzle pieces fall into place I realize that I must hunt down and torture every single man who ever hurt my innocent baby. 

"No, baby. It's.." I sigh, my voice soft. "It's necessary. Just relax. I know what I'm doing, okay?" I run my clean hand carefully up and down Sirius' thigh, and he nods with a still slightly confused look. 

And with that, I continue with what I was doing. I'm a bit more gentle, though, because I want Sirius to feel like the most loved boy in the world. I jerk Sirius off for a few moments, wanting him to get relaxed again. It does the trick, and after a few moments I trail my fingers lower until I can press one into him. 

My heart breaks at the way Sirius tenses, as if he's expecting it to hurt. I just rub my hand softly up and down his thigh, waiting for a few moments before pressing in a second finger. Sirius doesn't flinch, but I can't tell if it's because it doesn't hurt or if he's practiced in not showing pain. 

My guess is that it's neither. Sirius has never been through this before, I can tell by the look on his face. This is all new Territory for him. My poor baby.. 

Sirius covers his mouth with both hands when I twist my fingers up to hit his sweet spot. My mouth twitches up in a loving smile. 

"H-holy shit.." Sirius whispers, his voice rough and deep but also cracked and soft. 

"Told you it was necessary. Just lie back. And if you can, stop it with covering your mouth. I /want/ to hear you." I look down at Sirius with a soft smile, watching the way his flush gets darker at my words. 

I lean down to press a few more kisses to Sirius' stomach, paying carefully attention to the scar that Sirius mentioned earlier. I trace it gently with my tongue as I add a third finger, and the two separate sensation have Sirius whimpering breathlessly. He keeps his arms firmly at his sides, doing his very best to listen to me and not cover his mouth. I smile, twisting and spreading my fingers a few more times before pulling them out. Sirius whines, sounding offended. 

"Oh, just calm down," I soothe, slipping my own sweatpants off. I wince when I hear Sirius' breathing shift. 

"Moony, you're fucking hung!" Sirius says, but he doesn't sound scared. 

"Yeah, I know." I reply, spreading lube over my fingers again. "Now is the time for a moment of panic, if you'd like to have one. Although I assure you, I won't hurt you." I continue, Lubing myself up with a soft gasp. Shit, I really need to be more patient when it comes to warming up lube. 

"Re, I'm not scared. I'm fucking excited." Sirius grins up at me, already looking blissed from just my fingers. Gosh, he's really never had some one take care of him. I chuckle and run a gentle hand up his thigh to hold his hip as I line myself up. 

"I know your brain thinks this is going to hurt, but it's not. I promise. So just relax, okay?" I ask, and Sirius nods a little. He smiles at me, looking calm and soft. Shit he's beautiful. 

I finally snap out of my thoughts and slowly start to push into Sirius. His head falls back, a soft chorus of "ohfuckohfuckbabysogood-" Leaving his mouth almost incoherently. A soft smile tugs at my lips. Everyone always gets so nervous when they see how.. Endowed I am. Sirius is just panting, only wincing slightly- and that's just because he's tense. 

"You okay?" I ask softly as I bottom out, running my hand oh so gently over Sirius' lower stomach. He nods. 

"Fuuuckkk.." Is Sirius' slurred reply. He reaches for me and I lean down, knowing exactly what he wants. I capture his lips in mine, feeling him hum a little when my hips shift. I roll my hips a little to experiment and Sirius accidentally (I think) pulls my hair, biting my bottom lip in return. 

"Fuck, Moony, move already," Sirius pants out between little whines, his hand twisting almost painfully in my hair, but I don't mind. I chuckle, whispering a soft 'impatient.' Against his lips before slowly starting to thrust my hips

I sit up a bit on my knees, balancing myself with one hand while the other tangles in Sirius' hair. He let's out barely audible little whimpers, but I can tell he's not used to going this slow. He almost looks scared, because he's so out of his comfort zone. 

"You're so fuckin' pretty, baby." I whisper, the words leaving my mouth before I have time to think about it. "All spread out for me, letting me do what I want, even if you've never done it like this before." Sirius seems to relax at the praise, letting out a louder whine when I roll my hips a little harder. No too much harder. Seeing how the praise effects Sirius, I lean down to gently bite at his ear. "So good for me, you know it? I've never seen you behave this well." 

Sirius breathes heavily, his arms tight around my neck. I kiss the tip of Sirius' nose, then sit up again. After gently unwinding Sirius' arms from my neck, I grab his hands and pin them above his head. 

The reaction is instant. Sirius gets impatient, trying to get away just to test and see if I'll let him. I don't, but I'm also careful not to hold any thing but his palm. He could get away if he really wanted to. 

"Say yellow if you need me to let go, red if we need to stop. Okay?" I ask, and Sirius nods eagerly in confirmation. He grins up at me, cheeks flushed and his hair framing his head like a jet black halo. 

I quickly lose myself in those beautiful grey eyes, my hips moving to their own accord and my free hand holding Sirius' waist tight- it'll probably bruise. 

I don't come back from my thoughts until Sirius moans. Not whine, not whimper, /moans/. He arches his back, his pretty face twisting in pleasure. Ah, I must have angled my hips right. My chest burns with pride, but also concern because Sirius looks terrified the instant he realizes what he did. 

"It's okay, love. You sound amazing." I reassure Sirius quickly, before he has the chance to overthink. "Everything's fine. Youre doing so good." I add the last line because I can see the dazed look in his eyes, and he needs all the praise he can get. 

"Are you, are you sure?" Sirius asks, his voice soft and questioning. I smile and pause my movements and let go of one of Sirius' hands to push his hair out of his eyes. 

"Of course I'm sure. Do you know why?" I twirl one of Sirius' curls around my finger. "Because I'm the only one who gets to hear it. I'm the only one who gets to see you like this. You have no idea how hot that fact is." My voice manages to get lower, rough with arousal. Sirius' pupils are dialated and his mouth is slightly open. 

I resume my movements, shifting my hands a little to hold both of Sirius' with one of mine. "Is this okay?" I ask, my free hand going to hold Sirius' thigh. He nods, his eyes falling closed. 

We find a comfortable rhythm after that, my hips finding a steady pace that's still gentle, but not slow enough to warrant a complaint from my needy lover. Sirius is a bit more open with his sounds, squeezing my hand when he gets uncomfortable. Each time that happens I kiss him to distract him, then tell him his sounds are pretty. 

"Fuck, fuck Remus I'm so close.." Sirius moans, clutching at my hand. I let go of one of his hands so I can twine our fingers together. 

"I've got you, baby." I murmur, gently biting at Sirius' neck. He whimpers desperately and I sit up on my knees to get the right angle to his his spot. It takes maybe two thrusts for Sirius to come, covering his mouth to try and muffle the loud moan that leaves his chest. 

I work Sirius through his orgasm, whispering gentle praise and trying not to focus on my own mounting arousal. 

When Sirius comes down, I pause. "Do you want me to stop?" I ask, gently cupping Sirius' cheek to get him to open his eyes. When he does open them, they're full of tears. I instantly panic. "What's wrong?" I let go of his other hand in case that's the problem, but he doesn't let me. 

"Nothings wrong." He smiles, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. "You're just so fucking sweet. I am getting sensitive though, so hurry up." 

I'm still a bit skeptical, but I gently start to move my hips again. I try to be as gentle as I can, but Sirius reaches up to twist his fingers in my hair. 

"It's not my first time, Remus. I'm not going to break." He murmurs, voice rough. I chuckle and snap my hips forward forcefully once, making Sirius gasp sharply. 

"If I wanted to be rough I would be." I reply, slowing back down. Not too much, though. I don't want to overstimulate Sirius for too long even if he says it's fine. 

Sirius moans softly at my faster pace. "Fuck, Remus. So good.." The way he says my name, fuck I'm surprised I didn't come right there. Sirius smirks, but I don't see it for very long because my eyes fall closed as I get lost in the pleasure. 

"Mmn, Remus.." Sirius moans, and I know he's only doing it to make me tip over the edge. 

By all means, it works. I think I black out for a few moments when I do tip over the edge, because when I open my eyes Sirius is grinning up at me like a kid in a candy store. 

((~Smut ENDS here! Thanks for staying, Loves!~)) 

"No fair, you broke your own rule," Sirius teases as I pull out and lean down to kiss him. 

"Hm?" I question, pressing gentle kisses over Sirius' cheeks and nose. He giggles. 

"You covered your mouth when you came." Sirius explains, combing his fingers slowly through my hair. It hurts a little from the pulling, but I don't really mind. 

"Sorry. Compulsion. I get loud." I explain between kisses. Sirius laughs, wrapping his arms around my neck and pulling my down onto the sticky mess all over his torso. "Oh, gross-!"

"Welcome to my nightmare." Sirius chuckles against my temple, nuzzling his face into my hair. 

"What is it with you and my hair?" I ask teasingly and Sirius just mumbles. 

"Smells good." He mumbles, poor baby is starting to fall asleep. I sit up and kiss Sirius on the forehead, earning a very much annoyed whine. 

"You son of a bitch, you were keeping me warm!" He whines. I roll my eyes. 

"Come on, we're going to go take a bath because we're gross. Then you can sleep, okay?" I pull my sweat pants back on. 

"If this is what aftercare is I don't like it. It's three am, moons." 

"You'll thank me when you don't have dried jizz on your chest in the morning. Also, twenty minutes ago you were staring at the ceiling with nothing to do." I coax Sirius into a pair of sweat pants as I speak, pressing kisses to any exposed skin that I see is unmarked. 

"Fine, but I refuse to use my legs." Sirius wraps his arms around my neck, nestling his head into my shoulder. I chuckle and scoop him up into my arms, my heart warming at the sleepy giggle Sirius tries to hide in my chest. 

I carry Sirius down the hall to the bathroom, whispering soft words to him to keep him awake and to avoid any sort of anxiety or discomfort. 

"Do you take baths with all of your conquests?" Sirius asks as I clean both of us up. I shake my head. 

"Usually it's a shower," I reply, cleaning up Sirius' and my own torso. I work on his hair next, watching the way his eyes flutter closed just from me touching him. Gosh, he's adorable. 

"I love you so much," I whisper, pressing a gentle kiss to Sirius' neck. Now that I see him in the light, I realize how many of the marks I left actually stayed. It's.. A lot. Sirius is probably going to want payback, but I'll save it for tomorrow. 

"I love you too." Sirius yawns as I rinse the soap from his hair. I go to wash my own hair because ew, I'm gross, but Sirius snatches the bottle of shampoo from me. "My job." Is his only explanation as he turns to kneel between my legs. He washes my hair, being gentle and oh so careful as he always is when it comes to my hair. I wrap my arms around his waist, peering up at him. I know I look so soft right now, but I can't help it. 

"Are you always that soft?" Sirius asks as he covers my eyes to rinse the soap out of my hair. I shake my head like a dog, laughing at the way Sirius sputters. 

"Not always." I reply, letting my eyes close as Sirius leans in to kiss at my neck. "I was proving a point." I add, and Sirius replies with a questioning noise. "You'd never been treated like a prince before. I figured it was about time you were." I explain, and Sirius chuckles. 

"I'm trying to figure out if I like being treated bad or good better." He mumbles, hardly coming up between gentle kisses to my collarbone. "You're definitely better than anyone I've ever been with, but- ah. There's no but. You're better than anyone I've ever been with." Sirius smiles against my neck, cuddling close. A fond smile finds its way onto my mouth as he does. Oh, he's falling asleep. 

"That's because I respect you." I murmur against the top of Sirius' head. "I see you as a person that I love, not a toy."

"Yep, being respected is definitely better." Sirius is barely even talking at this point, he's so relaxed and sleepy. Mission accomplished. 

"Okay, sweetheart. Let's get to bed." 

We get out of the tub and get dressed, taking longer than necessary because we can't help but kiss in the middle. 

Ten minutes later Sirius crawls in to bed, and I rummage through my closet looking for a particular hoodie. 

"Where the hell- there it is." I finally find the particular one of Sirius' hoodies I'm looking for. I have like six of them at this point, but this one is my favorite. I pull it down over my head, grinning a little at my sweater paws. Imagine how big this this is on Sirius if its oversized on me. 

"Aww.." Fuck, forgot he was here. I toss Sirius one of my NASA hoodies, trying to divert his attention from the fact that I did a cute thing. I'm not cute. 

"Hush, you." I crawl into bed beside Sirius, nudging him over to the window. He hugs my waist, one hand tracing the letters of 'Padfoot' on my back. 

"I was wondering where this thing was." Sirius says with a loving look in his eyes that would usually make me nervous. "Do you even know what sport it's from?" He asks, and I shake my head. All I know is that it makes me feel safe and loved and it smells like Sirius. 

"Rugby. I played for a highs school team for a couple of years while I was taking classes online." Sirius explains, curling up against my chest. He's not wearing the hoodie I gave him, he's just covering up with it. I pull a blanket up over us for good measure. 

"Hey, before you go to sleep, I got you naked. Where's your last tattoo?" I ask, and Sirius giggles. 

"There's a lion on my other shoulder blade." He replies. I nod and kiss the top of his head. 

"Alright. Goodnight, Love." 

"Night, Moony.." Sirius whispers, barely awake. 

I wait until Sirius if fully asleep before settling down, pulling him closer to my chest as I close my own eyes. 

~Morning, Sirius' POV~

I wake up curled up on my side, my head resting on Remus' chest. He's awake, I can tell by the way his fingers are brushing through my hair. A soft smile curls at my lips and I cuddle closer, wrapping my leg around Remus'. 

"Good morning, sunshine." Remus murmurs as he often does, his rough morning voice making me feel warm all over. 

"Good morning," I yawn in reply, moving a little to tuck my face into Remus' neck. He kisses the top of my head, his warm hand rubbing my back in gentle circles. I should have stopped wearing a shirt to bed with Remus a long time ago. 

Neither of us move for a long time, unless it's to stretch or kiss a shoulder or temple. We talk minimally, and I find that I actually enjoy the comfortable silence. 

"Did you have another nightmare?" I ask in a gentle voice, tracing the Hogwarts emblem on Remus' chest. He nods slightly, his hand pausing in my hair for a moment. 

"Yeah, but it wasn't too bad," He assures, kissing my forehead. "I'm okay."

I nestle closer to Remus, doubtful. Now that I know, I can feel a slight tremble in Remus' fingers. So, I reach out for his other hand and twine out fingers together to help him ground himself. Sure, he sounds fine. That doesn't mean he is fine. 

"What time is it?" I ask, rubbing my thumb over Remus' knuckles slowly. He moves a little to grab his phone. 

"Nine thirty. I have nersury duty at ten." He replies, and I sigh. I don't want to get up.

"Well, you go do that while I try and put together an outfit for our date." I sit up and lean down to kiss Remus' cheek. "Are you gonna be okay?" I ask, and Remus smiles a little. 

"I'll be fine, love." Remus answers "And, don't dress too fancy. It's just a domestic date." He replies, not letting go of my hand yet. He finally let's go and gets up, getting dressed. I watch, keeping a conversation going and making sure he's actually going to be alright. 

"You sure you want to wear that?" I ask, gesturing to Remus' (my) hoodie as he goes to leave. He looks down at himself. 

".. Yes? Why wouldn't I?" 

"Because it has my callsign on the back?" 

"Yes, and it makes me feel safe. Also, you forget to take into account the fact that anyone in this building besides you wouldn't dare question me." He flashes me a blinding smile, then leaves. 

Oh, he's so fucking hot. 

I get up and put on the hoodie that Remus gave me last night before heading to my room. I mess around for a while, starting a sketch and thinking about what I might wear before actually starting to put an outfit together. 

I put on a pair of tight, ripped black jeans. Alright, that's easy enough. I'd wear a skirt just to make Remus sweat, but it's winter and this is supposed to be cute. Keeping that in mind, I put on a black T-shirt and a lavender hoodie that has black paw prints across the front. I pull my hair back into a half ponytail, leaving some of it loose because Remus likes to play with it. 

After putting on some not overly dramatic eyeliner, mascara, and pulling on a pair of purple sneakers, I check the clock. It's nearly noon, Remus will be off soon. 

As I make my way to the nursery, my mind wanders to last night's escapades. Remus was so scared that he was going to hurt me, but he still managed to rock my fucking world. How is he so perfect? I'm always so sore the morning after, I can usually barely move. But.. Remus didn't leave me sore at all. He made sure that I wasn't going to get hurt, not even a little. 

Is that how sex is supposed to be? 

I open the door to the nursery, and the sight I see behind the door makes my heart do ten backflips. Remus is sitting on the floor reading from a story book, toddlers napping all around him. There's one little one still awake, curled up contently in Remus' lap. It's Draco, my cousin Narcissa's son. 

Remus looks so happy. I never would have guessed that he'd be so good with kids. I glance around and notice that there's no other adult in the room. Moody must know that Remus wouldn't work this well with other people in the room. 

I lean on the door frame, a fond smile curving at my lips as I listen to Remus doing different voices for the characters. He finally glances up, and immediately he starts tripping over his words. I chuckle and walk into the room, closing the door gently behind me. 

"Oh don't stop, this one's my favorite." I say softly, going to sit beside Remus. He smiles at me, relaxing again when he realizes I'm not going to make fun of him. I lean my head on Remus' shoulder as he starts to read again, hugging his arm. 

"Belle spent her days exploring the palace, making friends with its inhabitants and being watched by the Beast. They even crossed paths a few times. They had snowball fights in the garden, and spent every night together in the den, where they shared stories or even just sat together and read." My eyes drift closed as Remus reads. I love the sound of his narrating voice, it's so soothing and soft. 

"The Beast noticed that Belle was getting bored, after a while. Her eyes weren't full of wonder at the palace any more. While she was still happy, he could tell that she was longing for home. So, the Beast took Belle into the library one day. He covered her eyes and when she opened them he told her; "It's all yours."," 

This is Remus' favorite part of the story. I can tell by the way he reads it, so energetic and alive. I press a little kiss to his shoulder, unable to stop smiling. 

Draco and I listen to Remus reading until the little one falls asleep and I'm well on my way there as well. He finishes the story and gently closes the book, jostling me back to full consciousness. 

"Am I that boring?" Remus jokes as he lays Draco gently on a cot. I get up and hug him from behind, feeling the way he tenses up immediately. I kiss his shoulder blade, moving a little to hug him from the side instead. 

"Do you remember when we rescued him? Our first job together." I murmur, as Remus wraps his arm around my shoulders. 

"Feels like forever ago." Remus chuckles. "He's a really sweet kid," He continues, letting go of me to settle the rest of the little ones into their beds. I help him out, lifting up an adorable little redhead boy. I glance around. 

"Oh fuck, where's the other one?" I ask Remus, holding either Fred or George on my hip. Remus glances over at me, then around the room. He then sighs and puts a hand to his forehead. 

"Dammit, not again." He mutters as I set the sleeping ginger in his cot. Molly and Arthur really need to get back from their mission to help contain these screaming monkeys. 

Remus climbs up the bookshelf in the corner, settling himself on top of it balanced on his knees. He crawls across the top of the bookshelf to the vent and takes the grate off, reaching in and dragging out a giggling redhead. 

"One after my own heart, aren't you kiddo?" To my surprise, Remus is smiling. He sits on the bookshelf, holding the toddler in his lap. "Now get down, you're going to break your neck." 

"Bitchin'." Fred/George giggles, climbing down the bookshelf. Remus fixes the vent and climbs down as well, looking at me with an 'I know you taught him that' look. 

"Don't say that, it's a bad word." I reprimand the twin gently as I tuck him into bed. 

"Bitchin'!" He says again, sticking his tongue out at me. I roll my eyes. 

"If you weren't so much like me, I would try harder to make you quit. Now take a nap, little one. You can get back to wreaking havoc later." 

"Havoc!!" Fred/George repeats with a big yawn. He gives me a hug, then lays down with his little stuffed dragon that he got from his big brother a couple weeks ago. Charlie is usually here as well, but he and Percy are with their aunt for the weekend. I know it's surprising, but there are families within the guild. We provide protection when needed and childcare, and when the kids get older we wither train them or send them off to school. They all get basic training, just to learn how to protect themselves. 

I ruffle Fred/George's hair, then get up to meet Remus by the door. We head out. The person meant to relieve Remus will be here soon. 

"Has anyone ever told you that you are the single cutest boy in the entire world?" Remus asks nonchalantly. I gliggle quite embarrassingly, rubbing my neck. 

"Yeah, but it's always nice to hear it again." I reply as we make our way to the library. 

"Well, you are." Remus says, taking my hand. I wrap my other hand around his arm, leaning my head on his shoulder. 

We get to the library and Remus tosses me his car keys. I mean, it's not his technically, but it actually is because no one else drives it but me, and that's sparingly. 

"Go get the car started, I have to make myself look presentable," Remus leans down and kisses my forehead. "I'm driving though."

"Yeah, I know. Control freak." I chuckle. "Oh, and, you already look like the handsomest boy I've ever dated."

"That's a given, Pads." Remus chuckles before disappearing into the library. 

I start the car and prop my feet up on the dash, chuckling at the fact that I'm dressed so soft and still acting like a punk. I turn up the radio and hum to the song that plays, formulating a plan. Remus said he has a voice kink, and I actually have an okay singing voice... 

My thoughts are broken when Remus has the audacity to come out of the building looking like a fucking /King/. He's wearing light wash ripped jeans that fall low on his slim hips and somehow manage to make him look taller, and a figure hugging v-neck t-shirt that leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination. Jokes on him, all I can manage to imagine is him taking that shirt off. 

"Sirius, darling, you're drooling." Remus chuckles as he gets into the car.

"Wow." Is all I manage to say. Remus pulls out of the driveway, a cheeky smirk present on his perfect lips. His hair falls gently over his eyes, not tamed like it usually is. 

"Well, I figured that since we're acting like we're in high school, I might as well dress like it." Remus says, like that explains why he's trying to kill me. 

"Well, I think you should dress like this every day." I reply, sliding closer to Remus. "Where are you taking me, anyway?" I ask, leaning my head on Remus' shoulder. He wraps his arm around my waist, tucking his fingers under my hoodie. 

"You're so impatient. You'll find out when we get there." Remus chuckles. I sigh dramatically.

"But I've been waiting foreeeeeeeverrrrr!" I whine. 

"Oh, just hush. We're going to the movies, but that's all I'm telling you." 

"Aww, that's so cute!!" I grin and kiss Remus' cheek. He smiles a little, although I can ssee he tries to hide it. 

We pull into the movie theater and get out of the car, heading inside. Remus pays for everything which I find dumb because we get our money from the same place, but it's still gentlemanly and I appreciate the gesture. 

We head to the theater that we're meant to go to, taking a seat in the back row. 

"What movie are we seeing?" I ask, putting my feet on the seat in front of me. Remus rubs his neck nervously. 

"Beauty and the Beast," He answers, a nervous little smile curving at his lips. "You said it was your favorite, and I-" A wave of love overflows in my heart. I turn and pull him into a long, hard kiss. 

"I love you." I murmur, leaning our foreheads together. Remus blushes even darker, not looking at me. 

"I love you too," Remus mumbles, barely able to keep his tough guy attitude. 

The movie starts and I settle in my seat, hugging my knees. I've never seen this before. It's the animated one, I vaguely remember Remus saying he likes this one better because of the library scene. 

I watch the movie intently, vaguely aware that I'm hyper fixating but it's a good thing to hyper fixate on.

We get to the library scene and my heart stops as Remus yawns, wrapping his arm gently around my shoulders. I giggle at the oldest trick in the book, leaning my head on his shoulder. 

"This really is domestic, hm?" I glance up at Remus, feeling so safe and loved. I never feel like this in public, why does he make me feel so good? 

"Told you." Remus smirks, kissing my forehead. I tilt my head up so he kisses my lips instead of my forehead. He hums a little, sliding his fingers into my hair. I put my hands on his shoulders, my chest fluttering just feeling his muscles. He's so strong and confident.. 

Remus pulls away, watching something behind me intensely. 

"Baby, what's wrong?" I ask, sliding my hand up to the side of Remus' neck. He blinks a couple of times, then shakes himself. 

"Nothing, sorry- thought I saw something." 

"You sure?" I ask, leaning forward to kiss under Remus' jaw. He nods, brushing his fingers gently through my hair. 

"Yeah. I'm a little on edge, sorry." 

"Well, stop it." I bite down gently at Remus' pulse point, a little pay back for the absolute mess on my neck. He twists his fingers a little in my hair, a soft hum rumbling through his chest beneath my hand. 

Remus gets impatient after a couple of bites, pulling me back up into a kiss. I giggle against his lips, wrapping my arms fully around his neck. 

After a while we finally break away from each other, out of breath and kiss drunk. I cuddle up to Remus' side, holding his hand over my shoulder as we watch the end of the movie. 

I play with Remus' fingers, not able to focus anymore. He offers me his other hand, which I'm very grateful for because it's easier to hold. We watch the end of the movie and I try not to get too restless, paying attention to the screen while also playing absently with Remus' fingers. He doesn't seem to mind, which I appreciate. 

By the time the movies over, I'm ready to see sunlight again. I get up and bounce on my toes, grinning at Remus. 

"ADHD?" Remus asks, and I nod. 

"Yeah. It kinda merges with my insomnia sometimes, so now I'm hyper and tired!" I giggle. Remus smiles fondly. 

"Well, that in mind," He pauses, turns. "I'll race you outside!" And he takes off. 

"Oh you bitch!" I chase after my fast as fuck boyfriend, glad that I'm also quite fast. 

I finally catch up to Remus when we get outside, jumping on his back. I nuzzle my face into his neck, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. 

"I caught you," I hum contently as Remus tucks his hands under my thighs

"Yeah, but I beat you outside." Remus replies, turning his head to kiss my cheek. "Now as much as I love holding you, get down so we can go to our next stop." Remus let's me down then grabs my hand, twirling me around. 

I can't help but giggle, wrapping my arms around Remus' neck. Everything about him just makes me feel so happy and soft. I press up on my toes, pulling him down into a soft, sloppy kiss. 

"You're so beautiful." Remus whispers, wrapping his arms tight around my waist. He kisses the tip of my nose, then lets go. He heads for the car and I reluctantly follow, wanting more kisses. 

"Where's our next stop, Mr. Howell?" I ask, curling up beside Remus and splaying my legs across the seat. He wraps his arm around my waist, holding my hip with a gentle hand. Gosh, he's so gentle with me. 

"Fast food and ice cream," Remus says, turning a corner. My heart flutters at the way his hand grips the steering wheel, so strong and at the same time almost careless. 

Okay, maybe I have a thing for his hands. Can you blame me, though? 

We get our ice cream and food, although I'm already full up on popcorn. I don't really care though, I love ice cream and it goes really good with French fries. 

Remus parks the car by my favorite part of town, the black lake. 

"This summer I'm going to talk you into going skinny dipping with me," I say, popping a French fry into my mouth. Remus snorts. 

"In your dreams, Black." 

We get out of the car and go find a spot to sit by the lake. I'm practically shivering in my oversized hoodie, but Remus seems perfectly fine in his thin T-shirt. We sit down and Remus pulls out his phone. 

"Hey! Pay attention to me!" I hug Remus' arm, pouting at him. 

"Hang on, love." Remus kisses the top of my head, and the pet name makes my heart leap. "I told you I was coming prepared. This has to be as domestic as possible, so I came with 'get to know your partner' games so we don't get distracted by work."  

"Oh, moony." I croon, kissing Remus' cheek. "You really are the sweetest guy." 

"Shut up. The first game is called favorites. One person gives five categories, and the other gives their favorite thing in each of those categories." 

"Sounds easy enough." I reply. "You go first." 

Remus wraps his arm tighter around me, noticing that I'm freezing my ass off. "Hmm. Color, band, song, food, weapon."

"So much for not being distracted by work." I giggle, and Remus shrugs. "Anyway.. Red, Queen, Riot by Three Days Grace, spaghetti, my hands." 

"Your hands Don't count." Remus says, playing with my hair absently. 

"Yes they do. Don't get picky with me. TV show, actor, singer, book, book series."

Remus has to think for a few moments. "Supernatural, Jenson Ackles, Harry Styles, The Hobbit, Lord of the Rings." 

"This is boring, what's the next one?" I ask, and Remus chuckles. 

"You're so impatient. Alright. This one is just a list of this or that questions." Remus rubs his thumb in absent little arches over my waist as he concentrates, trying the find the right question. "Okay. Do you prefer small towns or big cities?" Remus asks, his hand sliding up to play with my hair. 

"As a city boy," I start, pausing to eat a French fry. "I can confidently say that I hate it here and prefer small towns. You?"

"Well, as a country boy by heart, I can say, that I agree with you. There's less noise in the country, but then again cities don't make me think of my childhood. I'm torn." I love how he thinks things out. He says the first thing that comes to mind, then snowballs off of that. 

I gently take Remus' phone, looking through the questions. "Hmm. Do you prefer sunny days or cloudy days?" I ask, and Remus chuckles. 

"I have bias here because your eyes are the color of storm clouds," Remus says, making my heart race. Fuck, he's so amazing. "And with that being said, cloudy days. There's no obligation to go outside and I can read all day."

"The next time we have a cloudy day, I'm hunting you down with tea and blankets." I hug Remus' waist, looking up at him adoringly. 

"I would love that, beautiful." 

We sit here and talk for hours, only stopping so I can go get a blanket from the car because I'm freezing. Remus then bundles me up in his lap, which is even better. 

When we finally decide to head back home, the sun is setting and even Remus' cheeks are turning pink from the cold. He burrowed into the blanket with me about an hour ago. 

"You look like a fluffy burrito." Remus observes as we walk back to the car, me bundled up in the blanket. I roll my eyes. 

"I'm going to take that as a compliment." I chuckle, and Remus wraps his arm around me. 

"It was a compliment. You're the cutest, fluffiest burrio that I've ever seen." Remus laughs, kissing the top of my head before we climb in the car. I hug my knees, covering myself completely in the blanket so only my head pokes out. 

I am fluffy. I like being fluffy. 

Remus smiles at me and reaches out to hold me to his side. "So, are you happy with our domestique adventure?" He says the word domestic with an awful French accent, making me giggle. 

"I loved it, Rem." I hold one of Remus' hands in both of my own as he drives. I kiss his shoulder. "Thank you."

"Ah, don't thank me. I totally didn't have to do research to figure out how to be normal for this. Our next date is just going to be cuddling and, like, a whole season of supernatural. Okay?"

A loving smile curves at my lips. "That sounds absolutely perfect, my love." 

Remus walks me to my room, his arm wrapped gently around my shoulders. There's some sort of party going on in the rec room, I should probably go check that out. When we get to my room I turn, looking up at my handsome lover. He reaches out and pulls me close by my waist, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to my lips, then my cheek. 

"I love you." Remus whispers against my ears, then turns to leave. I lean on the door, barely able to contain my excitement. 

"Babe, now that we're doing being domestic, do you want to go check out that party?" 

Remus turns back around. "I may pop in," He winks, then leaves for real. 

Oh, this means I must dress sexy. Either for myself, or to make him jealous. 

~Remus' POV, a while later~

I stifle a yawn as I make my way to the rec room, dragging a hand through my hair. 

"Heya, Moons!" James calls from his place on a couch in the corner, the beautiful Lily Evans perched on the arm of the couch beside him. I walk over and sit on the other end of the couch. 

"How do you guys deal with all this noise?" I ask, although the noise isn't even half as bad as it was when Sirius and I first got home. 

"This is nothing. But, if you would like to speak with the manager, your boyfriend is in charge of music." Lily giggles, obviously mostly drunk. The sleeves of her cute red dress fall off of her shoulders as she leans over to kiss James- oh, gross! 

"Blech. Straight kissing. This is why I don't leave my room." I get up to go get a drink, rolling my eyes when I hear some cheesy love song come on. It's fast paced though, so at least Sirius won't chase me around to slow dance. 

I lean on the wall by the drink table, scanning the crowd for Sirius. When I finally find him, a faster song has come on. 

He's so fucking hot, how?? His hair is let down, falling gently and framing his face, his bangs falling in front of his eyes. He's wearing little star earrings, but that's not even the best part. 

I already knew Sirius looked good in a leather jacket, but when it's falling down his shoulders and he's wearing an ACDC crop top, I swear he looks like sex walking. Or, dancing, that is. He's so careless and beautiful as he dances, head thrown back and hair everywhere like no one's watching. 

But everyone's watching. Including a boy that I saw eyeing Sirius up at breakfast yesterday. Maybe I should kill him. 

Eh, too much effort. Maybe later. 

I watch Sirius dance for a while, slowly but surely getting a little buzzed, mostly from alcohol but also from the way Sirius rolls his hips to the beat of the music. 

Finally, after probably fifteen minutes, Sirius spots me. He grins like a little kid, fixing his jacket on his shoulders as he walks over to me. I cross my arms, looking him up and down. 

"Like what you see, baby?" Sirius is obviously drunk. If he wasn't, he wouldn't call me that in public. 

"It's Remus or Wolf in public, Cutie." I chuckle, knocking back the rest of my drink. "And the jacket looks better off your shoulders, just for future reference." 

"You just want everyone to see the mess you left on my neck," Sirius teases, getting himself a drink. I shrug. 

"You're not wrong, but I also just like staring at your neck." I reply, as another song comes on. It's a slow song, and I instantly see Sirius grinning. 

"Come dance with me!" He reaches out for me hand which I refuse to give him. 

"I don't dance." I reply, nearly repenting at Sirius' adorable little pout. 

"You don't, or you can't?" He asks, and I roll my eyes. 

"Even if I could, I wouldnt," I answer. Sirius takes both of my hands, starting to gently drag me to the middle of the makeshift dancefloor. I protest the whole way, but he doesn't care. 

"It's alright, Moons. I'll lead." He puts my hand on his shoulder, wrapping his own around my waist. 

"I dont- I said-"

"Shh, Moony." Sirius holds my other hand tight, starting to lead me in stepping to the beat of the music. "Just relax. The only one here that knows you're doing this against your will is me. Just listen to the beat." He sounds so calm as he speaks, moving smoothly to the beat and dragging my uncoordinated ass with him. 

I glance around the room and instantly feel a wave of anxiety wash over me. We're the only ones dancing, aandhalf of the guys- and girls, are staring at Sirius. 

"Wow, half the people in here are staring at you," I chuckle, trying not to give in to my anxiety as Sirius spins me around by my hand. Quite undignified, but everything about him leading me makes me feel so fucking soft and calm. 

"Oh no Baby, they're all staring at you." Sirius smiles up at me, his eyes sparkling. "I mean, why wouldn't they? You're gorgeous, especially when you're nervous." 

I can feel a blush creeping up my neck at Sirius' words. I chuckle. "You flatter me," I say with a fond eye roll. Sirius pulls me in closer as with song comes to an end. 

"I'm not flattering you darling, I'm stating facts." 

~Fin~

Don't worry I'm not done, I have way, way too many ideas for this.