Hey!
I'm so so very sorry for not posting in a really long time. I had massive writers block!!!!
Hopefully you haven't forgotten about this story :)
But i finally did it! So here it is enjoy!
Finn’s POV
“where’s Rachel” I needed to see her to make sure that she was ok and made sure that she wasn’t hurt. But first I needed to get through spencer
“You’re not going anywhere near her right now” she folds her arms across her chest and normally I would expect a smirk of her face but she looked dead serious.
“please I need to know if she’s ok” I try to walk away but she immediately stops me
“nice try there Hudson, and I’m telling you now she’s fine.” I knew in that moment that I wasn’t going to see Rachel, no matter how hard I beg spencer wouldn’t budge. I understand where spencer is coming from, Rachel has obviously had a bad day and I’ve obviously caused her a lot of heartache throughout the years so of course spencer doesn’t want me near her. It’s just so frustrating!
At that moment I swear I hear a door opening down the long hallway of the apartment but decide to ignore it and focus on spencer who was asking me if I was going to leave now knowing that there was no chance of seeing Rachel. Spencer places a hand on my shoulder and starts to slowly push me in the direction of the door. Just as my foot was about to step out of the door I turn around and say:
“Has Rach told you anything?” I looked right in her eyes, within seconds her hand was off my shoulder and was wiping her watery eyes.
“she didn’t need to, I could tell just by looking at her” she shrugs. A picture of Rachel with cuts and bruises all over her floats into my head, my heart sinks. Of course I knew that something like this might of happened but now it’s really hit me what Rachel would have really gone through.
“How bad is it?” I simply asked I knew it was sort of a stupid question but I just felt the need to ask it.
“Pretty bad, there are bruises all over her arms and face” I close my eyes in disgust. I can’t help but feel like I’m to blame for all of this. When I saw her with Adam I had this bad feeling, I should of gone up to them and checked on her, but I knew that would only make Rachel mad at me. I look down at the ground almost in shame as I’m about to walk out the door.
“Finn this guy who did this to Rach…..how do you know about him?” at first I’m surprised that she actually called me by first name and secondly she was just telling me to leave and then she’s inviting me back in?
“I went to college with him……he had a history of doing these….. things” she nods and quickly looks at the hallway almost like she was hiding something.
“you wanna talk about it over a cup of coffee?” she raises her eyebrow at me. I smile in reply. I could really go for some coffee right now.
As she walks towards what looks like the kitchen i can’t help but ask if Rachel was here. As soon as the words came out of my mouth a look of uncertainty washed over her face. I knew exactly why she would keep Rachel away from me, I mean every time I’m near her she ends up heartbroken. And I hated myself for doing that to her.
“Look I know in the past I’ve hurt her and trust me I feel terrible, but I’m planning on making it up to her” I explain as I watch her move around in the kitchen making the coffee.
“Hurt her?” she whispers. I have a feeling its cause Rachel’s here. Spencer never did answer my question whether she was or not. I look at her with a confused expression
“You did more than hurt her, you broke her! She was absolutely fine before you came to New York; she was a happy, bubbly person. She would smile a thousand times a day and now I’m lucky if I even get a wry smile from her!” she was practically yelling at me. What can I do? I deserved it.
I know just by looking at spencer that she has been through a lot the past hours and her being a strong powerful young woman she never lets her guard down. She just kept yelling all different kinds of things and I start to zone out and play close attention to her eyes. They say it all, the tears that are starting to pool around her eyes, their red and buffy and it honestly looks like she hasn’t slept in 2 days. I then realise that she has stopped talking and is staring at me like I’m a crazy person. I stop, take a deep breath and pull her in to a tight hug. I was expecting her to push me away but she surprised me when she pulls me in tighter and cries on my chest. Minutes later we’re sitting on the couch and spencer is letting out everything she’s been holding in. I never knew she could cry this much, it’s like I’m sitting with a whole different person. It was quiet for a couple of minutes with nothing but spencer’s sobs filling the air, when she looks up at me from her spot on the couch.
“Finn, what’s the real reason you came to New York?” my throat began to feel dry and I anxiously swallow only to discover a nervous lump in my throat.
Rachel’s POV
I couldn’t thank spencer enough, sure the hot bath wouldn’t solve all my problems but it at least solved one. I was finally relaxed. I plugged my phone into a docking stage that was in the bathroom and just close my eyes and sing along to the lyrics to the songs on my playlist. I was in there for about an hour and I’m not surprised when i held up my hands and my fingers were all wrinkly. That was my queue to get out. As I’m drying myself off I finish the last of the lyrics from R.E.M.’s classic Everybody Hurts. And I have to say, this song is spot on for my situation right now.
Well, everybody hurts sometimes
Everybody cries
Everybody hurts sometimes
So hold on, hold on
This song has made me realise that the old Rachel Berry would have pushed through the heartache and pain and put that energy to what was really important. Broadway!
As the last note of the song ended I could her spencer yelling. I had no idea why. But I was about to find out. I slip on a nice comfortable pink dress and walk out of the bathroom. I could hear talking but I couldn’t quite match up the voices. It was then that I heard it.
“Finn, what’s the real reason you came to New York?” I immediately feel my heart beat faster. Huh, so much for being relaxed. I walk closer to the living room where it sounds like they are. I hide behind the wall where I know they can’t see me. I hear Finn take a deep breath.
“I missed her” he blurts out. I close my eyes as soon as I hear his voice.
“What?” I hear spencer say. Had she been crying?
“Whenever I was with Rachel I felt like I could be myself, she believed in my when I didn’t…..and that was a lot. When I was with Quinn I was treated like I didn’t matter, she would always control me, I couldn’t do this or I couldn’t eat that, I mean don’t tell me what I can and can’t eat. Don’t mess with my food!” I can’t help but smile at the last part; he has always loved his food.
“So why did you marry her?” my smile slowly disappears waiting for him to answer the question
“Honestly, I thought marrying her would make me forget about Rachel, but it didn’t I thought of her more. I knew Rachel was going to make it to Broadway and I didn’t want to get in her way. So I settled for Quinn. Then after two years being married to her I realised that I’m never going to forget about Rachel. And I thought that maybe seeing her and having some closure would help. But I think we can both agree that it made it worse.” I let out a sigh that I didn’t even know I was holding in.
“Well because of you and Quinn she has been through a lot. Like the whole no kids thing” I fill ill in the stomach just thinking about it. I hate it when someone brings it up.
“Look I would be lying if I said I didn’t want kids with Rachel, I’ve dreamed of that ever since I laid eyes on her. I used to think of little Rachel Berry’s running around our house, the house the Kurt would of surely decorated. But I love her and I know that we can work it out.” I slide down the wall and land on the floor hysterically crying. I dreamed about all those things too. I remember when the doctor told me the news that was the first thing I thought about. He’s the one that I want to be with, and start a family with but we can’t always get what we want.
I couldn’t hold in my tears anymore, so I just let it out and cry out loud. I ran back to the bathroom and lock myself in there. I sit down on the floor, my back pressed against the door and break down. The room filled with the sound of me bawling my eyes out. Suddenly I hear a loud knock and I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand
“Go away spencer!” I yell
“Um it’s not spencer, it’s me Rach. It’s Finn”
So there you go!
We finally get to see a more vulnerable side to Spencer :)
What do you think will happen next?
Please Comment and Vote!!!